mai siow siow

Boy boy's room

2010-11-08T21:38:00.001+08:00

Japan - Tokyo (18-24th Oct 2010)

2010-10-28T15:57:00.055+08:00

Day 1 - Shinagawa

We took a night flight (on the 17th) out of Singapore, and arrived at Tokyo around 630am 18th Oct. The flight time was about 7.5 hours, and Japan was 1 hour ahead of Singapore.

Although I couldnt really sleep during flights, little Kai managed to sleep on the plane, although he woke up several times to voice his protest at being in an uncomfortable position.

We spent a little time resting at the airport (Macdonalds) and giving him his morning milk feed, then set off to Shinagawa Prince hotel, located conveniently next to the Shinagawa JR station. As there was a direct airport bus limousine service which goes directly from Narita airport to the hotel, we decided to take it. It cost 3100Yen (roughly $50) per adult. Fortunately, it was free for the little one!

Shinagawa Prince Hotel is actually a pretty decent hotel, and being situated next to the busy JR station, it is also highly in demand by travellers within and outside of Japan. We had made a reservation of a room in its North Tower (which offered slightly cheaper room rates compared to the other 2 - the Main and the Annex towers). When we got to the hotel, it was clear why this was so. While the Main and Annex towers were connected and shared a large hotel lobby and the associated shopping areas, the North Tower was a small standalone building at the side, and its reception/lobby can be best described as clean and functional. =P

As we could not check-in (we reached the hotel around 11am, early check-in would have cost us 3000 Yen! ), so we decided to purchase a JR Day Pass (780 Yen per pax) which allowed us to travel on the JR lines within the Metropolitan Tokyo area (this is denoted by a circular line of stations which includes the more well-known areas such as Shinjuku, Harajuku, Shibuya, Ikebukuro, etc.) and have a self-guided tour round the city.

First we took the JR train to Harajuku (原宿）and took a leisurely stroll along the shopping arcardes and fashion streets. This area is well known for its small streets lined with trendy, fashion shops and although it was a Monday, I did catch a glimpes of some japanese youths dressed in rather impressive (read: weird) wear.

Next we took the train to scout out the Tokyo station area. Seeing as our third (and final) hotel of the trip is located near the Tokyo station- and knowing how formidably large this station was - we thought it couldnt hurt to get some sense of directions first, at least then we wouldnt have to suffer the prospect of getting lost while lugging a huge suitcase around (plus the beastie, of course).
**Note: this turned out to be a good idea, as we found out later! =)
We were so glad to find out the the Yaesu Terminal hotel, where we were to be staying after returning from Disneyland/Sea, was really located very conveniently across the road from the North exit of the Tokyo station!

Finally, it was time to check-in to our hotel (we were quite tired by then...).

The first thing we thought of when we entered our hotel room was "how did they manage to squeeze so many (essential) things into such a small area?". Really, it had everything you'd need - a queen bed, a small table (plus the window ledge) to put your stuff, a small TV, a small fridge cum "cooking area", and an attached bathroom - all squeezd into a room which was even smaller than our master bedroom at home.

In the evening, we took a train to Shinjuku (新宿) to catch the night lights and to take a walk around some of the shopping arcades there. One particularly interesting mall we visited was Tokyo Hands - a 7th storey mall featuring all kinds of home and hobbies equipment. Definitely not the typically fashion stalls there!

Day 2 - Mount Fuji & Hakone

We signed up for a 1 day tour to Mount Fuji and Hakone (EP half regretted signing up for this day trip when she found out that we had to gather at the hotel lobby at 730am! Haha)

The trip started with us travelling round various hotels picking up other passengers who'd signed up for the day trip. This part proved to be the most taxing and tiring but as the bus basically travelled for like 5-10 min, stopped by 5-10 min, then resumed this routine - until all passengers were retrieved from 4 or 5 different hotels around the area. But by 9am, the trip started for good, and I was really glad to be on the way!

The bus ride to Mt Fuji took close to 2.5 hours, so along the way we were given a short toilet break (cum food break, since lunch was scheduled for 230pm! ). But finally, we reached our destination - the famous Mount Fuji (富士山). Even though we knew beforehand that the temperature here would be significantly colder than in the rest of Tokyo (around 15-20 degrees celsius), it did not stop us from wishing we had brought thicker/warmer clothes - especially for little Kai - once then wind blows full force sending chills down our bodies....

Of course, I was busy snapping pictures and videos atop the 5th Station (五合目), the highest point reachable by bus. The souvenior shop (think there was only the single one) there didnt sell very interest stuff though, mostly trinkets and very commercialised products, so we didnt buy much things from there. Guess the most valuable take-away was the photos and the experience of feeling 'amongst the clouds'. =) The only disappointment was that we could not see the famous snow-capped peak of the mountain as it was fully covered by the mist which limited visibility.

After retreating from the heights of the mountain, we headed for Hakone (箱根), a popular holiday destination for many Japanese visitors, as it is known for its hot springs and beautiful lake views.

The lunch stop was at one of the resorts in the area, and it was easy to see why this region is so popular amongst travellers - the scenary is really stunning.
We enjoyed a wonderful lunch there. Kai looked pretty happy too!

Next, we dropped by the Hakone Ropeway and took the sky gondola (actually this is just a nicer name they came up with for the cable cars :P) for a ride up the hill to reach Owakudani (大涌谷), a place famous for hot springs and black (volcanic) eggs! Again, another freezing experience for all of us - little Kai was virtually clinging on to us the whole time we were at the hill top.

The last part of the tour took us to Lake Ashi, where we were to take nice, relaxed and leisurely ride on the "pirate" boat. As it turns out, the ride was anything but relaxing! The little beastie, perhaps stressed and a tired from the day's visits (we were quite rushed in-between places, which is another reason why we didnt want to go for a packaged tour in the first place), decided that he's had enough, and did a full-blown 'Merlion' act just as we boarded the boat!
(Any parents of young children will understand how horribly messy this is. Just imagine having to clean up a load of vomit consisting of milk, water, undigested food, all over the toddler's body, as well as your own. PLUS, having to calm and pacify a crying beastie in the process.... gosh..)

Actually, thinking about it afterwards makes us want to laugh at the comical nature of the situation, but I can assure it, there and then we were really panicky and exasperated! Needless to say, I have little opportunity to take nice photo shots of Lake Ashi.. Here's about the only shots I managed.. hehe.

Initially, we'd wanted to take the bus ride back to Shinagawa, but after this harrowing experience, we felt that we needed to reach back to the hotel as soon as possible. So it was virtually no contest between taking a 3 hour bus ride, and a 30 min Shinkansen ride, even though the latter comes at a rather hefty price of another 6000 Yen.

Day 3 - The Disney Sea Experience!

We checked out from the Shinagawa Prince Hotel and took the JR train to Maihama station. There, we quickly dumped our luggage with the Disney Resort Centre personnel and quickly started with our adventures at Disney Sea! (check-in at Mira Costa wasnt until 3pm, so we decided to venture into the park and enjoy some sights and rides first)

With the little one around, it was quite impossible for both of us to take any hiong-hiong rides together (ya, you know the sort I like! The faster and higher they go, the better!). EP generously offered to keep watch on the beastie while I took a few rides by myself. Unfortunately, it took us a while to remember the trick about using FastPass, so we didnt manage to 'optimise' the 2 Park passes we had. Still, I manage to take rides on Journey to the Centre of the Earth, as well as a short roller-coaster kind of ride (cant recall the name...)

As expected, the rest of the time we spent walking around the park, enjoying the sights while looking out for the next restaurant/cafe to rest our tired feet. =P

It seems like Halloween is quite a celebrated festival here in Japan (at least in Disneyland/Sea!) as there were many Halloween-theme based decorations and characters abound in the park.

Finally, it was time to check-in to our hotel! To be honest, I have been wondering how on Earth could we have decided to stay in a hotel which charged $650/night!?! Not to mention, we are actually staying in Mira Costa for 2 nights! But after seeing the hotel especially its interior decor and room, I have to say it is mighty impressive (though still super expensive lor..). Compared to the matchbox sized hotel we've just stayed in (Shinagawa), this was luxurious beyond words...

We then came out in the evening to take in some night sights of DisneySea park.

Day 4 - Off to Disneyland!

As official hotel guests, we had the privilege of entering the park(s) 15 minutes before the official opening hours (which was 9am). This 15 min advantage may not seem like much, but it'd probably allow us to ride 1 or 2 of the more popular rides without having to 'compete' with the seemingly endless queues of people. Believe me, I witness how these guys chiong into the park once the doors open, it's really scary!

Still, we had to forfeit that little advantage as beastie took his time to consume his morning milk...SIGH.

When we exited the hotel, we saw to our dismiss that it was RAINING!! :((
That alone made it almost impossible to enjoy the park's more interesting rides. In fact, we spent much time renting a covered stroller (disneyland offers these at 700Yen a day), and then later deciding we needed to get Kai a raincoat even with the covered stroller! Basically, it was a near disaster to start the day off...

But despite all that, there was still time to take in some nice shots! Cant miss the all-too-famous Disney Castle now, can I?

We took little Kai to the Merry Go Round!

There was a nice Disney procession too...

In the evening we turned up on time to enjoy the grand Disney fireworks! Finally, some justification for the hefty park entrance fees! haha

Day 5 - Disney.. Again?

Being overly eager (and excited) on the 1st day we reached Disney park(s), we'd purchased a 3-day pass. The advantage was that this allowed us to choose which park we'd like to visit on the 3rd day - so we could either go back to DisneySea or enjoy(?) another day at DisneyLand.

In the end, having suffered so at the wet DisneyLand the day before, we decided it was better to go to DisneySea again. If nothing else, at least it is near our hotel.

Well, at least it wasnt a totally wasted trip as we managed to catch a Halloween special presentation by the Disney characters!

Finally we said goodbye to Disneyland/sea and headed for our hotel near Tokyo station - the Yaesu Terminal hotel.

Again, we're thrown back into the the shoe-box sized hotels just like the previous one in Shinagawa. But then again, if we're paying but a fraction of the price of the Disney hotels, I'd take this anytime! Afterall, EP admitted that these small rooms had everything we need - 麻雀虽小，五脏俱全.

Next, we were off to Shibuya （涉谷）to have a look at this shopping and fashion district. Indeed, the neon lights were all over and we enjoyed a cool and interesting evening stroll with the boy.

Before we left Shibuya, I made sure we took a photo with Hachiko - a statue of the dog which famously waited for its owner at the Shibuya train station years after he passed on.

Day 6 - The visit to Gendai Publication!

We bought a day pass for the Tokyo Metro, as their station were nearer the supposed location of the Gendai publication store. In the end, we still ended up a little lost, mostly due to an error on the map which I'd printed beforehand. Fortunately, we managed to find locals who were able to help direct us to the store location!

I splashed out a couple of hundred dollars on scores, DVDs and CDs. Much of the items seemed overpriced (not helped by the strong Yen, I suppose), but given the fact that I may not come back to this shop again (anytime soon, or maybe ever!), I was more than willing to pay. Pictures can be found in Guitaresque blog. =)

After a brief rest back at the hotel, it's time for our final excursion in Tokyo. We were off to Odaiba! Coincidentally, EP's brother and sis-in-law were also in Tokyo for holiday, so we'd decided to meet up at Odaiba for dinner.

The rainbow bridge is really pretty, especially at night.

Not sure why they have a mini version of the Statue of Liberty there, but it looked good against the nightscape, so we took some photos of it as well.

Day 7 - Last minute food and shopping, then back to Singapore

Japan Japan!

2010-10-13T21:11:00.001+08:00

We will be flying off to Japan in 4 days' time! Feeling very excited, as this will be the furthest we will have travelled as a family - and with him, our dearest little Kai!

The entire trip was booked over the internet separately - the air tickets were first secured, then we started hunting for hotels. We will be staying in 3 different hotels : Shinagawa Prince Hotel, Yaesu Station Hotel and the Mira Costa (Disney Sea) hotel - so it's going to be quite challenging (but fun!) to move between locations.

Of course, our main concern is the little one, who has so far travelled with us to Cameron Highlands and Thailand (Bangkok). Now that he is a little older - albeit not by much - we are really hoping he can get used to eating properly as we will be having meals entirely outside of the comforts of home. So far, his dieting habits have been quite a concern to us... :P

I am planning to pay a visit to the Gendai publication, as well as HOMA dream inc. (another classical guitar publisher), both shops being located rather conveniently near the Ikebukuro train station. I just hope we wont get lost once we get there (else EP will probably kill me!). Owls also recommended we take a trip to see the Ghibli studio Museum, featuring the cartoon artwork and artifacts from famous animation artist 宫崎峻. For that we'd need to purchase tickets from LAWSON, a chain of local convenience store in Japan - I really hope we wont have too much trouble getting them. =)

The highlights of our trip is obviously the 2-3 days that we'll be spending in Disneyland and DisneySea. It's been quite a number of years since EP and I visited DisneySea (it was for during our honeymoon, so I figured that must've been in 2004? ), so I'm naturally excited to go back to the park where we've had such fond memories of and as I recall, some of the rides were quite awesome! The focus this time round will be almost entirely on Kai though, and we are hoping the language barrier we'll face at the parks will not deter him from enjoying the sights, the scenes and of course the music. Mickey Mouse is still Mickey Mouse, right? Regardless of what language he speaks in.... :P

I also have another priority for this trip (ok lah...besides ensuring that we get to taste all those delicious Japanese cuisine...yum yum! ), and that is to take lots and lots of beautiful pictures of our time there! For that, I am going to bring my Sony DSLR and all my lenses so that I wont miss any shots - be it a nice portrait shot or that zoomed-in view of Mount Fuji (we intend to take a day tour to visit the famed mountain. Actually, both EP and I have been there already, but it's like you've never BEEN to Japan unless you visit Mt Fuji, so we thought we ought to bring our boy there as well. At least for a good family photo to be taken lah!). Hopefully, when we return, I can upload some nice shots to this blog!
Look out for it!

That sickly feeling

2010-10-07T21:39:00.001+08:00

I hate it when I am down with a cold/flu. When I was young, I've never really thought of myself as "sickly", though to be honest I have never been the most healthy and fit person amongst my group of friends. I guess partly, this has got to do with my diet and lifestyle growing up - thanks to my parents who brings us out regularly to have dry fishball noodles/mee-pok, and lor-mee for breakfast...hahah! =P

It was only after I reached my 30s that I realised that I have sensitive nose and ENT (ear-nose-throat) issues. Apparently this results in my nose being sensitive to dust, change in temperature, whatever, etc.. It gets blocked easily, and the result is usually a back-flow of mucous/fluids into my throat which then gets infected. Then the usual symptoms will become full blown - blocked/runny nose, sore throat, headaches, body aches, etc.

The worst thing about going through all these is that most of the time, you just feel really lethargic and tired, your body feels like it's protesting against every movement and strain, but YET you are not sick enough to justify taking a sick leave. Well, technically I can see a doctor and get a day's rest if I feel like it, but most of the time I decide against it because:

1) taking medicine (antibiotics or not) too frequently cant be doing my body any good. So better to recover naturally (albeit slowly)
2) taking MC too frequently cant be doing my career any good. So better go to work if I can get up and pick myself up from bed in the morning.
3) these symptoms happen so damn often that if I take MC for each occurence, I'd probably use up all my sick leave. See Point 2
4) staying at home and feeling drowsy from medication is no fun at all!

Still.... I hate this half-sick feeling!

我通通都爱你们！

2010-09-27T22:23:00.004+08:00

Time is flying by so fast that sometimes I have to do a double-take to remind myself that boy is no longer my little baby! There are these moments where he will say something that really amazes me...

One example of such a moment was one day (think this was probably 2 months back or so) when he suddenly decided to hug EP and me (we were both sitting on the sofa watching TV, and he was seated in-between us) and pulled our heads closer to one anothers'. Then he said, "我通通都爱你们!"

Okay, perhaps not grammitically correct, but still.... I was so so touched and proud of him. 小靖凯长大了!

Exposition - 5th Sept 2010

2010-09-06T20:09:00.000+08:00

Xpose had its first 'major' performance yesterday evening. I qualify my use of the word 'major' - as Xpose had previously performed on numerous occasions, be it within campus, and outside of it ( we'd even performed in the Esplanade Concert hall ) - because it is the the first ticketed concert staged by this NUS alumni guitar group.

Just like Guitaresque did some years ago, when I first decided to take the group a small step further, by attempting a ticketed concert, Xpose finally made the leap. Of course, the risks associated with this performance was greater, as Liang Shan (as the founder, conductor, music director, coordinator..cum everything else) had to dig into his own pocket to pay for the rental of the Esplanade Recital Studio, where we staged our concert.
A good thing that the ticket sales went pretty well, considering we did not employ Sistic or any other ticketing agencies for marketing and sales. It was purely through our members own efforts and word-of-mouth.
In a way, I'd have expected us to fill a 200+ seater hall, given that Xpose had about 20 or so performing members. If only each member managed to sell 5-10 tickets, we would have already filled more than half the seats. Still, many of us were relieved to see a good turnout last night - which meant that LS should be able to cover his expenses. It would have been wrong to expect him to pay for the cost of putting up which turned out to be a pretty good performance by any guitar group in this country (or dare I say - region).

Of course there were the usual blips and mistakes peppered through out 80 min (or so) gig, but after years of performing and participating as an audience to such performances, I have learned that the players themselves are often the greatest critics of their own performances. I overheard one members uttering the word "disastrous" under his breath when we'd finished the concert and stepped back stage into the dressing room. And suddenly, everyone was talking about how bad we did; how terrible this-song, that-song was; how the Basses went "M-I-A" at some point; how the Primes went berserk and spunned horrible out of control when strumming; how the Percussion instruments and Altos went out-of-sync; etc. etc. (not to mention - how the MC pronounced Balraj's name as "Bal-J"! )

I guess it is usual for us to feel that we could've done a better job - which is a good thing, since that provides the extra push factor and motivation for us to improve - but based on some of the feedback I've received so far, we did well and definitely derserve a pat on the back for our efforts.

EP commented that her fav song had been Tedesco's Concerto - oh, she said she was "mesmerized" by the handsome Raj, all dressed by for this one! - as it felt like everyone was truly committed and enjoying the piece. Receiving the thumbs-up also, was Capriccio Espagnol - not so much for our technical display (which I have to say, was a little off-the-mark, to be honest!) but for its sheer excitement and energy, which made it a great choice as an opening piece.
The Mission also received decent marks, especially for our singing bit, which I guess gave most in the audience a pleasant surprise, given that most guitarists prefer to use their hands to do the talking, rather than their mouths.

Finally, I'd also noticed quite a few familiar faces amongst the audience last night. Many a Genus alumini turned up in support of Xpose's concert, which was really wonderful to see. I can't help but wonder if we'd managed to somehow inspire some of these ex-Genus players to dust-off the accumulated layer dirt/dust on their guitar cases, and pick up that instrument which accompanied them through their years in varsity... I certainly hope so, though I suspect some of these players still hold on to the belief that the Genus concert(s) back in their years were as good, if not better. Hardly surprising, since people tend to remember things relative to their own experiences at that moment in time. For instance, when I was a first year in Genus, I vividly recall how amazed I was to listen to GL play the Concerto in E Major (J.S. Bach) solo part. It was supremely difficult (to me back then) and I was simply in awe of some of the seniors' technical skills. Back then, the duet of Dominic and Clarence was also highly regarded as they dished out the Double violin Concerto in Dm (Bach) which was deemed as technically very challenging then. Today, when I listen to ZQ and D play the solo, the feeling is altogether different. No disrepect to either player (they're good players, no doubt), but it takes much more to fill me with the same kind of awe and respect for a guitarist then before. Case-in-point: As impressive and excellent as Raj is, as a solo guitarist, when he pulled off Tesdesco's Concerto last night, it did not "Wow" me as much as some of the seniors had in my initial years in Genus. But the truth is - many of us (Raj included, of course! ) are much better guitarists than we were back then...

Like I said, it's really a matter of relative perception. When you stand atop a small hill, the tall mountain suddenly seem not as high anymore... =)

A morning walk at the Singapore Botanical Gardens

2010-08-08T11:41:00.002+08:00

On this bright and sunny Sunday morning on the 8th Aug 2010, we decided to bring the boy for a walk at the Botanical Gardens.

The park was really quite shaded at most areas, and even though we didnt go very early in the morning, it didnt really feel so hot.

We managed to walk from the Symphony stage area (which is located near to the carpark at the "back entrance"), to the Swan Lake area and to the "front gate" which faces Orchard Road. It took us about an hour and half to complete the walk. It felt pretty nice that we could go somewhere besides another Shopping Centre - which seem to tbe the only places Singaporeans seem to visit with any regularity these days (and who can blame us? It's indoors, and it's air-conditioned )

The Lovely Bones

2010-07-29T14:25:00.002+08:00

Picked up a cold and sore throat so am confined to home for a day's rest.

Not that I mind - have been feeling a little 'worn-out' from work lately. Not sure if it's the work itself, or that I'm feeling a little lost in terms directions. Cant really see where I'm headed in the medium/long term, as it is. Good thing my half-yearly performance appraisal's coming up next week. Should be able to clear up some doubts with my manager.

Anyway, since I'm home and feeling a little dazed (from the medication, mostly) but mostly bored, I've picked up a DVD which I've had for a while, but just did not get to watch it. The movie's called "The Lovely Bones". Sounds a little weird, for anyone to label bones as being 'lovely', I thought...

Still, the show (about 2 hours long) turned out to be... interesting, to say the least. It follows the ghost/spirit of a 14 year-old girl, who was murdered by her neighbour, who turns out to be a serial killer (who has killed mostly young and teenage girls). There wasnt any grisly scenes, they didnt even show exactly how Susie Salmon - that's the protagonist's name - was murdered. But from glimpses and flashbacks, you get to see that she must've been slashed by a switch-blade and her corpse thrown into a antique-looking safebox.

Mostly the show follows how the family deals with the lost, and it is heart-breaking to see how Susie's dad transform into a broken man, and her mum eventually leaving the family in search of her own healing/salvation. From a parent's perspective, it must be the greatest grief to witness/experience your own child(ren)'s passing. In chinese, the phrase 白发人送黑发人describes this tragic experience...

The movie, being directed by Peter Jackson (famous director of the Lord of the Rings trilogy) contained some magnificant scenes, mostly of supernatural and unearthly scenaries and brilliant colours. I particularly loved a scene where Susie witnessed some large, floating bottles (containing model ships) crashing against the rocky shores. This happens in her world - which was explained to be somewhere in-between Earth and Heaven - whereas in the real world, Susie's dad was smashing those bottles in despair and anguish. Somehow, that scene struck me as particularly moving, for some reason.

In the end, of course, the family healed and moved on; the bad guy was killed in a accident; and Susie supposedly 'ascent' to heaven. But I guess that's not the point of the movie, is it? =P

无条件的爱

2010-07-21T21:44:00.002+08:00

Today I was talking with some of my co-workers about a parent's love for his child as being the only real "unconditional love".

Love comes in so many forms (for the sake of simplicity, I will not include the types of "love" between man and a non-human being/object of affection) :

1) Love between life partners
2) Love between friends
3) Love between siblings
4) Love between parent(s) and their child(ren)

Each of these types of love involves strong emotions but are fundamentally very different. But in my opinion, only the love between a parent and child can be something that is totally, absolutely and truly unconditional.

A parent may hope for a great many things from his child - some parents want their children to be first in class, to be intelligent, while others expect their child to follow in their own footsteps in becoming an entreprenuer, a business, etc. - but no matter what else or more a parent may like his child to be(come), he does not expect anything 'in return' for the selfless devotion of time, energy and emotions that he pours into the love for his offspring.
It is something that simply is.

It is also true and perhaps a little surprising that the love a child feels for his parent(s) may not actually be anywhere as "noble" and "unconditional" as the love his parent have for him. Children kind of 'expect' their parents to love them. And as a young child, he expects protection, care and attention from his parents. When he gets older, he expects financial support but also demands personal "freedom" (in terms of personal time and space) from his parents.

Not really a 'fair' deal, one may think... But I guess that's the way we live. Interestingly, one of my ex-colleague penned in her Facebook comment one time "Love pours downwards" - ie. we seem to love our children more than we love our parents.

But must that always be the case? Well, we may not be able to 'measure' and compare how MUCH we love our children versus that we feel for our parents, but that should not stop us from loving them all - just for being there for us and filling our hearts at various points in our lives, and in different ways.

This short video is one of my personal favorites.... always brings a tear to my eyes... (ops! must be smoke getting in my eyes. =P)

Better consumer protection laws needed

2010-07-20T21:33:00.002+08:00

I sent this letter to ST Forum, but they may/may not publish it. So I'm "publishing" it on my very own 'forum' =)
=============================================================================

Many of my overseas friends have commented that Singapore is a great place to shop. Indeed with the recent spate of mall openings, as well as a concerted effort being directly at improving the service standards in shops and restaurants, Singapore is taking a huge stride towards competing with the ever-popular shopping destinations such as Hong Kong and Thailand.

However, it is disturbing that the local consumer laws are still weak, compared to many of the region's counterparts. We often hear of businesses not honouring their contracts with customers, failing to provide even a basic level of customer service, and some unscrupulous business owners deciding to wind up their businesses when they've collected a significant sum of money from their clientele, leaving the latter high and dry.
It doesn't help that the local consumer Watchdog - CASE - often seem powerless to take these unethical business owners to task.

My recent experience with a local business highlights this problem.

After purchasing a table-top water feature from a shop in IMM (Fukai Environmental Pte Ltd), I discovered the pump/motor did not work upon reaching my home. On the same day of the purchase, I returned to the shop and requested for an exchange for the defective product, but was turned down flatly. Claiming they were only a distributor, I was asked instead to bring the product to its office, located in Woodlands Instrustrial park. And this had to be done on a weekday, within the office hours.
With no other option, I have to arrange for a day's leave from work to visit the Woodlands office, only to be told I'd have to leave the unit there for inspection. They can only return it after "3 to 5 days".

After a week and not getting any response from the company, I decided to call the company and was then informed that the water-feature I'd bought was without a warranty. This was indicated as a single line of hand-scribbled text on the receipt. This was certainly not informed to me at the point of purchase and I had been gullible not to check the receipt carefully at that time.
This wasn't all. The company even had the cheek to ask me for payment and this was for "checking the product", even if I should decide not to repair it!

My advice to all - before making the purchase, ask if the shop has an exchange policy and if it doesnt, then at least ensure they provide a warranty for their goods (especially electrical/electronics products).

真心英雄

2010-07-14T20:29:00.002+08:00

有个同事明天将要离开公司，到澳洲去修读房地产学位。起初，大家都非常意外-怎么一个主修金融系的大学生，好好地在一家还算不错的银行打工了三年后，怎么会突然萌生去意，就这样收拾行李离开新加坡，说走就走? 何况他是去修读一门似乎与他毫无关联的科目。

但是后来听了他的解释后，才发现原来他其实老早就对房地产投资有非常浓厚的兴趣，只是早前“有心无力”，所以得先打几年工，等赚了一些钱，有了一些储蓄才能去实现他的梦想。

了解了原因之后，我们虽然还是觉得一点惋惜，一点感伤，但还是为他觉得高兴。一个人能够放下一切枷锁，勇于追求自己的梦想是一个难得的机会，一个需要用自己双手掌握的幸福。错过了这个时机，也许它就不会再来了。

所以，我们同事们都会衷心地祝福你，

加油啊，Mr. Pure! =P

Training in Mandarin

2010-07-13T22:03:00.002+08:00

I conducted a training in Mandarin today. It was the second time since I've joined NT that I've had to do a WebEx training using my "mother tongue".

It wasnt that bad an experience, to be honest - given that they attendees (a group of asset managers from China) didn't even see fit to ask a single question - it was just that I felt a little 'strange' trying to string together seemingly simple sentences, and getting tongue-tied all the while. It was so darn hard not to lapse into English at times!

Fortunately, I managed to pull through the session. Thanks to my prepared Powerpoint slides and pre-training preparation (hey, I actually have to surf the internet looking for translations and/or ways to describe certain financial terms. It was pretty... ).

Sigh... it is true that if you dont practice using a language for some time, you tend to lose touch with it. For me, speaking conversational Mandarin comes quite naturally. In fact, we speak Mandarin at home so often, that beastie has taken to using it much more frequently than he uses English.
It's just that to use Chinese as a medium for business communication - that is really something entirely different.

I'm just glad I am still able to do it, albeit a little "rustily". =)

Sportsmanship

2010-06-30T20:42:00.000+08:00

The World Cup 2010 has now come to the quarter-final stages, where eight teams are left with the chance of lifting that ultimate football trophy. There are 4 teams from the South American continent - Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay & Uruguay; 3 teams from Europe - Germany, Spain and the Nethelands; and a solitary team from the African nations - Ghana.

England, as always played out a disastrous (and high profile) tornament, losing to their arch-nemesis Germany in the round of 16 in a 4-1 mauling. To be honest, I did not expect the 3 lions to progress further than they did in their previous outing in 2006, which ended in a penalty loss to Portugal in the quarter-finals stages. But still, given the number of supposedly "world-class" players (if we access their individual performances in their respective clubs and their 'market value' in the transfer market) in the squard, I totally expected them to at least reach the same stage as their past performance in 2006.
But Germany made sure that did not happen. And from a neutral's perspective, that is a good thing, since England really doesnt play attractive football..... Turns out they dont play effective football as well.

However, the England match did produce a good talking point - courtesy of a Frank Lampard first half attempt, which sailed over the German goalkeeper and hit the cross-bar, bounced once OVER the goal-line, before the unabashed goalie hurriedly picked it up and pretended as if nothing had happened!
From the video replays (which was available and broadcasted almost "live" during the match itself), it was clear as day that it had been a wondrous goal, which would've brought England parity (at 2-2) which they'd hardly deserved. Unfortunately for England, the Referee and his line assistant somehow missed it, and the "goal" was not given.

Expectedly, many die-hard England fans cried foul, and rounds of referee bashing and conspiracy theories were circulated in the internet and some tabloid papers. The call for video technology to be used in football also grew in strength, as players, managers and football personalities threw their weight behind the motion. Sepp Blatter, the head of FIFA finally admitted that it would be foolish to not consider such a call in the forseeable future.

But what got me ticked was an article in Today's papers - on how it was deemed "okay" for a sports person to cheat, as long as he "wins". In the article, the German goalkeeper was quoted as admitting that he saw the that ball had clearly crossed the line, but he quickly picked it up when it bounced and pretended that nothing had happened. It was further mentioned that he felt it was "lucky" that the referee was fooled by his act.
That sounded really dishonest to me. In fact, I find it downright despicable.... Surely, as an athelete/sportsman, the highest regard should be given to one's spirit of sportsmanship? That involves having a high integrity and a healthy respect for the sport as well as for your opponent. Since when has a 'dirty win' been as good as any other win?

It's interesting to find many instances where a sports-personality is shamed because he/she attempted to gain an unfair advantage over the opposition, in order to win. Think all those cases of performance-enhancing drug tests on atheletes... But yet, I discover that when there is a great difference in treatment between individual sports and team sports (and in particular, those involving countries). Individual sports would include many types of sporting event where typically, the sportsperson vies for individual honors and his/her allegience doesnt really get into the picture. A great example would be golf, and to a lesser extent tennis. Here, people tend to remember the champions, but may not necessarily remember (or care) where he/she hails from.
Team sports, on the other hand involves a lot more passion and support from their fan base, and the typically has some tie-in with their country of allegience. Football would be the classic example. Table tennis, swimming, diving, gymnastics are also other team sports which attract a lot of attention due to the intense competition from the typically strong nations.

In individual sports, it seems to me that there is very little sympathy for a sportsperson who has been discovered to be cheating in his event. People readily condemn the dishonest act and vilify the person for his lack of basic sportsmanship. So what if he/she has just won the championship? So what if he/she has been a great champion for the past 10 years? A single unsportman-like behavior is sufficient to cast him as a villian in everyone's mind.

Not so with a team sport though. You can cheat, you can bluff, you can deceive... you can virtually do anything.... as long as you WIN. And of course, as long as you dont get caught IN THE ACT. It is okay to admit afterwards about the dishonest act, even boast about it.... as long as you WIN...??

Isn't there something fundamentally wrong here?

Paying 70 bucks for the World Cup

2010-05-30T13:24:00.002+08:00

As many other Singaporeans, I had been really pissed by the 2 telcos' selfish and utterly despicable behavior by charging Singaporeans one of the most expensive subcriptions fees (for live telecast0 in the world. The fees they are charging is now 7-9 times more than what Starhub charged just 4 years ago. 7 times if you an "early bird" - and they dare call this an "early bird discount"! 9 times if you subscribe a little later on.

I was pretty certain I would not subscribe this time round, as it made no sense if all the matches are telecast live at timings over here, that would make it impossible to watch. I mean, pay 70 bucks just to watch some delayed telecast in the evening? You've got to be kidding!

Yet, as I'd discovered a more recently, some of the matches are actually played at 7:30pm or 10pm Singapore time. Those are pretty good timing, considering most of us office worker are able to knock off from work and be home by around 8pm on most weekdays.

Secondly, a friend advised me - yeah, 70 bucks sounds like a lot, compared to the $10.5 we'd paid just 4 years back for the same thing. But nowadays, a meal in a (not even considered top class) restaurant for 2 could easily cost you that much, or more. Would having that one less restaurant outing make a whole lot of difference, compared to having the convenience of switching on your TV (in the comfort of your home) to sit engrossed in 2 hours of pulsating, good football action?

That sounded pretty logical to me.

But then, not every family in singapore can afford that one restaurant meal, even once in a month (or longer). $70-$95 could possibly last a small family of 4 a whole week, if they buy groceries from the wet market, and cook simple meals everyday. Compare THAT to watching some frivolous (and freaking rich!) fellas kicking a ball round a grassy field for 90 min - majority of whom wont even know of a country called Singapore! - and then you'd find it really IS very expensive indeed.

It simply goes to show how wide the income gap has become in this country....

Lunching alone

2010-05-03T13:14:00.002+08:00

I dont really have a problem lunching alone. Everyone needs some time alone to think, to reflect and to rest our mouth.

Good thing that i managed to get my wireless@sg connection up again. :)

9th April - some thoughts

2010-04-09T21:26:00.000+08:00

EP made a remark while surfing the internet last night, "You havent updated your blog in a while hor..."

That's right. I have been quite busy recently, and as we all know, when you're busy, time flies by without so much as a whisk. Before you know it, a week's passed. Then a month.

Now, that is not necessarily a bad thing. It means there's a lot happening in your life, so it won't be dull. It also could mean that there are some major changes to adapt to in your life, and it's taking a lot more of your time and attention away from the little stuff you used to do.

Personally, work-wise things have been slowly 'heating' up, as I prepare to take on more duties andresponsibilities from a colleague who is into her 36th week of pregnancy. YF, who's going to be a first-time mother seem to be doing quite well - in terms of handling all the usual inconveniences and discomforts which comes with pregnancy - and I'm very happy for her. I told her it is going to be "life-changing", as it certainly was for me.
It's been more than 2 years since JK came into my (and EP's) life, and he still makes me feel excited and gush when he flashes that infectious smile at his papa.

So I kept telling EP, "I cant imagine how we could've lived our lives if we didn't have him". To which she philosophically replied, "We wouldnt know what we'd be missing if we didnt have him..."

True. As a quote from an anonymous source, says, "A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty."

p.s. Happy birthday - to me! =)

叛徒

2010-03-18T20:34:00.004+08:00

I think I am becoming a jealous person. Or more specifically, a jealous father.

As this week happens to be the school holiday week, we decided to let my parents (instead of EP's parents) take care of the beastie for the week. Ie. my parents would come over early in the morning (before we go off to work) to fetch him, and then in the evening they'd "return" him to us.

Last evening, we met up for dinner together at Bukit Batok, and during the meal, my mum proudly asked the boy, "你爱PAPA还是爱奶奶?"
To my great dismay, the beastie replied without hesitation, "爱奶奶!"

I felt a sense of betrayal at that declaration. What a turncoat! =P

This morning, EP also tried her Jedi mind-trick on the beastie (quite unfair, cos I think the beastie had just woken up, and was barely fully awake!). While I was busy preparing his milk, she triumphantly carried a half-asleep beastie over to me and asked, "你爱PAPA还是爱奶奶?"

Guess what he replied?

"爱妈眯!"

The traitor!!!

Lunch talk

2010-03-18T20:34:00.001+08:00

Had an interesting lunchtime chat with some colleagues today - about movies and movie stars.

"Who do you guys think are the hottest babes in Hollywood these days?", asked one of my female colleague.

"Megan Fox = hot ! " was the quickest reply from a male colleague.

Stamp of approval.

"Jessica Alba is really hot too"

Definitely.

"Scarlett Johansson is chio!"

Drool... yes.

A number of other names were thrown up as well - Natalie Portman (we agreed she doesn't exactly fall into the hot babe/sex symbol category, but she is nevertheless a beauty); Anne Hathaway; Jessica Biel and Charlize Theron were amongst the others mentioned.

Interestingly, the guys (there were just the 2 of us - myself and CJ) agreed on most of names, whereas the girls seem to have a slightly differing view when it comes to gauging "beauty".

I think it is true that the 审美观of males and females can be quite different. Which is why when EP tells me a colleague or a friend is quite good-looking (as in, a lady), I will usually be rather skeptical about it, until/unless I see the person and decide for myself. Can't trust her judgement on these things, you know... hehe

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?

2010-03-16T20:50:00.000+08:00

Our local newspapers has gone into overdrive recently to report the alleged affair of local movie director Jack Neo. This old timer (well, he's 50 this year, so I'd consider him an 'old bird' in the field) had supposedly had an affair with a (currently) 22 year old part-time model, and when things didnt go too well, the latter decided to go public with the affair.

That was the first salvo fired at Jack, though certainly not the last. Because following the revelations of his infidelity, several more women came forth with their own stories of how the movie director attempted to sweet talk them into giving in to what he wants. And it's pretty obvious what a 40+ (then) man would want with girls as young as (supposedly) 16.

Let's face it - men are by nature frivolous and tend to be distracted by what he sees and imagines. I am not a scientist or biologist, so I wouldn't know if the same is true for women (at least from a biological or physiological point of view), but from mere observation it does appear that men are more likely swayed by temptations of the flesh. I guess the correct (and dirty) word for it is "lust". Hmm.. perhaps that's why lust is one of the 7 sins (the others are: Pride, Gluttony, Wrath, Sloth, Envy and Greed. Oh, by the way, I loved the movie "Seven", starring Morgan Freeman, Gweneth Palthrow and Brad Pitt... ).

A male colleague of mine recently stated that there are 2 factors which would "lead a man to stray":
1) Wealth
2) Opportunity (ie. being away from his wife & family, and likely away from the constraints imposed onto him by the society at large)

I kind of agree with him. Look, a man who is struggling to feed himself and his family isn't likely to have the time and energy - not to mention the nerves! - to look for such extra-marital activities. This kind of men are also safe from the radar of predatory women who are out to fleece the horny and gullible man-folk.
On the other hand, if a man is loaded or has spare cash to spend, he is more likely to start thinking of HOW to spend the money to satisfy his primal needs. After all, what good is money is you ain't gonna spend it right? =P Think those uncles in their 50s/60s who have collected their pension or CPF monies - perfect targets for money-sucking predator-esses. It's a simple case of matching demand and supply.

As for opportunity, I guess much depends on the kind of job a man does. Some jobs are regarded as "higher risk" due to the fact that they require the guy to travel often, and to spend significant amount of time away from his wife and family. Without the normal levels of societal constraints (away from people whom you know, your friends, family members, as well as others who might judge you for your actions), chances are definitely higher for man to sway in his resolve to remain free of extra-marital sexual liaisons.

Coming back to the case of Jack Neo's affair (or affairs), I can clearly see the same factors at play. He's probably made quite a fair bit of wealth on the success of his directorial experience since his very first hit movie - Money No Enough. And since his work takes him overseas frequently - to shoot for the movie, scout for talents (of all kinds, I guess...), etc. - he certainly has ample opportunity to hit on these sweet young things whom he fancies.

It's becoming a trend these days for male celebrities who appear to have squeeky clean images to suddenly find themselves thick in the mud with revelations of post marital romps with women other than their spouses. Tiger Woods led the pack, followed swiftly by John Terry, Ashley Cole and now our very own Jack Neo in Singapore. To be honest, I'm not sure what the big fuss is about, really. Likely I'd mentioned earlier, men (like them) with so much money and ample opportunity to satisfy their lust would almost certainly do so. Whether they get found out or not is, of course a different matter. They just need to work a little harder to patch back their soiled public image, so as to win back sponsors who are paying them the big bucks.

As for the common man-on-the-street, such news make good entertainment for reading and leisure. We can only ponder (and wonder) if we'd have done what they did had we their wealth and means to do so.

Mostly probably NOT....

(We wont be so silly as to be caught! haha!)

Asian Folktales - Genus 2010 concert

2010-03-09T20:29:00.001+08:00

After many years of sitting "on the bench" (like a substitute in a football squad), yesterday I finally participated in Genus's annual showpiece as a full fledge performer. And boy, did it make me feel really old!

Just sitting through a 2 hour rehearsal, hours prior to the actual performance, and my back (and butt! ) was already feeling the strain. It certainly didnt help that the chairs we were provided with were not exactly the most comfortable chairs for a classical guitarist - or any performer for that matter. They were a bit too low and the seats were shaped/angled in an 'butt-unfriendly' way.

So why did I do it? ie. agree to play for the entire concert. Well, it was mostly because our Resident Conductor - Mr Robert Casteels requested me to "lend a hand" (or more specifically, lend some sound!) to the ensemble. You see, this year, the ensemble concert repertoire is decidedly longer than usual. Instead of preparing for the typically 7-8 ensemble pieces, this year, we probably had like 12-13 pieces in all. Couple this with the fact that several of these pieces were composed/arranged in such a way as to make the first year players faint when they looked at the score (Yes - Raj's Satyagraha is definitely one of those! Plus Liang Shan's Giant Robo.. oh boy), I really have some sympathy for those poor juniors who have to go through the extra hours (and the auditions) rehearsing these songs.
I wondered how I'd reacted if I were a first year member who'd joined Genus some 6 months ago.... Might I have just called it a day and quitted the club? Maybe...

Anyway, back to my personal reasons for playing in the concert. I feel that the repertoire this year contained some really interesting songs which definitely made my participation in the performance more enjoyable and meaningful.
Raj's contribution - Satyagraha - an original composition based on some Indian's traditional tunes, was one of these tunes which kept ringing in my head. In my opinion, it would be a real waste if this song was presented just this once, in the University's UCC premise, and in front of a meagre 400+ audience, who had sportingly turned up for a undergraduate concert held in a relatively unknown (to the public) place, on a late Sunday evening!
Perhaps with the upcoming Germany trip, we could showcase this ethnic and authentic Indian composition, played on western (Spanish) classical guitars and Japanese designed Niibori instruments, and brought to life by the vibrancy afforded by a Singaporean guitar orchestra! Talk about integrating of cultures....

The only disappointment was that for Chrono Medley (one of Xpose's songs), our flautist did not managed to put up a credible show. It was, frankly one of her worst performances I've heard in a long time. I believe it was down to nerves and anxiety - but then, considering the fact that she's a seasoned performer, I'm pretty astonished about how it all fell apart for her on stage.

Nevertheless - and despite the backaches (and butt-aches!) suffered through the rehearsals and the actual concert - it was an enjoyable outing, and one which will add to the many fond memories I've had with the NUS Guitar Ensemble.

Recollections (part 3)

2010-02-25T20:54:00.000+08:00

OG's guitar upgrade came about some 3-4 years back. We were 'shopping' in Yudi Kwok's (another guitar afficionado, who followed his passion and opened a guitar shop in little Singapore. Good for him!) shop located in Bukit Timah Shopping Centre, and was introduced to a Spanish luthier called Juan Hernandez. Yudi let us try several guitars (of various grades and prices) from this luthier, and it was clear to us that although the quality may not be as consistent as we'd like, there are certainly some gems to be found amongst his make.
In particular, OG liked a spruce top guitar and made up his mind to get it almost there and then.

Meanwhile, Alex was contented to strum along to the tunes of the broken Esteve (Chin Yuen eventually retrieved his broken Bernabe from Alex). Kevin? Well, let's just say he was happy to pull the strings of any guitar as long as there are still 6 strings attached to it! ( I recall that at one point, he was even playing on my Yamaha CG110, which sported some venerable strings, brown with age and history. Needless to say, his tone was "one kind!" )

Alex's big break came when we got news of a Kohno No.30 available for sale. This news came from Charles - a luthier hobbyist who I'd contacted sometime back to do some repair/repolish work on my Kohno. At the price it was selling for, we felt it was a very good opportunity for Alex to finally own a decent guitar to call his own. After much persuasion and peer-pressuring from OG and myself, the barber decided to go test the guitar and after another round of hesitation and peer-pressuring, he finally "settled down" with his new-found 'wife'.
Alex's Kohno is very similar to my own, except that it was in considerably better condition and possibly looked like how my guitar was when I first got it from Michael Ho (which shows how bo-chap I am as an owner...something which I hope to improve on as the owner of a new Ruck guitar). I guess it is fair to say that he is enjoying the guitar as much as he should - he even bought a new cool-looking case for it!

Finally, to our quartet's resident DIVA, Kevin Ow. Due to his diva-ish requirements (e.g. must have 7 strings, must feel heavy, he must like the sound/looks, within a certain budget, etc.) OG and I had to practically source the instrument and present it to his highness for approval. Fortunately, we found out that Yudi was able to contact the Asturias factory, and commission a custom-made order for a 7-string beauty befitting our diva.
It took some effort on our part to constantly negotiate and cross-check between both buyer and seller, but eventually the deal was done! Our Diva now plays on a custom-made 7-string baby from Asturias. He is happy plucking away at those low register notes and giving the quartet an extra edge when it comes to taking on scores which require a lower register (typical for many LAGQ scores).

Recollections (part 2)

2010-02-23T20:17:00.001+08:00

It is interesting to see how the personal instruments of the quartet members 'evolved' over the last decade.

Soon after the quartet formed, I upgraded my guitar to a Kohno (No. 30) - an instrument I picked up at from a second hand guitar dealer in Singapore, Michael Ho. It was (almost) love at first sight - or rather, first touch. I was initially targetting a more costly Kohno No.50, but when Michael Ho showed me the No.30 model which he had, I knew I would be taking it home. I loved the clear and defined tone it produced, especially the trebles. The fact that the guitar was 3rd or maybe even 4th hand didn't matter, as it was a quality instrument and could give me the extra motivation I'd needed to carry on my passion of playing the classical guitar.
** Still, I knew that eventually I would need to upgrade to a truly concert-level guitar, especially if I forsee myself playing for the next few decades of my life. The Kohno could easily last me for the next 5-8 years, but I felt I would eventually 'out-grow' it. That was when I decided to do some 'research' and ended up writing to an American luthier named Robert Ruck to be put on his (then) 7 year waiting list for an instrument to be built for me.

Still, back during those years, Michael Ho was the one source who could provide us access to concert guitars. I recalled trying out several Richard Howell instruments he brought in, as well as a Sergio Abreu model. I also distinctly remembered him asking if any of us were interested in a Miguel Rodriguez guitar - but which cost $8,000 - and we were all thinking, "So expensive?? Where got money???". Now looking back, that could've been a steal!

Both OG and our dear fellow guitarist/composer Raj had also purchased their instruments from him at various times over the years.

Yet, curiously, there would always be one particular member (at any one time) who did not own his own instrument.

First, it was Kevin - who insisted on borrowing Moh's Alhumbra guitar for many of our quartet's performances. He just didnt bother to look for a decent instrument for himself. (And when he did go look, the instrument he bought turned out to be an expensive piece of metal - the flute)

Then, when Alex joined, he became another long-term 'borrower' whenever it came to performance time. He relied on Chin Yuen's weird-sounding Bernabe (student model) for his daily dose of guitar indulgence. It was not that he didnt own any instrument - he did - but it was an old, weary-looking (and sounding!) Esteve model which made even the GENUS Prime guitars sound good!

For the longest time, all OG and I could do was to shake our heads in resignation and sigh together.

Recollections (part 1)

2010-02-22T20:06:00.000+08:00

My Robert Ruck guitar arrived at my door step late January 2010. It was a like a long awaited dream finally coming to fruition.

I remember my first classical guitar - a Yamaha CG110 - was my parents bought for me back in the mid 80s. I had just joined the guitar society in my secondary school, and needed to have my own guitar so that I could practise at home and be familiar with the instrument. I was fortunate in that my mum had 'forced' both me and my brother to learn the piano from a very young age (I must've been 6 or 7 years old then), so I already possessed a good foundation in music theory & knowledge, as well as a 'sense' of music - things like rhythmic sense, appreciation of pitch & tonal qualities, etc. - by the time I picked up the classical guitar.
Of course, in those days, a guitar is as good as any other guitar. I was simply happy to strum on the 6 strings of my guitar and to hear the sounds of the melodies and chords that I could play. I performed with the school ensemble, and I vividly remember that I played the guitar 1 part in Besame Mucho. I had no knowledge of position-playing, and it was good enough to just hit those notes using any/every technique possible.

The Yamaha stayed with me throughout my school days. In my Junior college years, it was my faithful companion as I was appointed the Song/Singing Section leader in the Chinese Cultural Society due to my ability to grasp chords of the (then) popular chinese pop songs. Singers & song-writers like Eric Moo(巫启贤), Liang Wen Fu (梁文福), and in general the Xin Yao (新谣) movement was very strong then, and a lot of people, including myself, were hooked on these locally produced songs which featured little more than an unplugged guitar accompanying a singing voice. Though the arrangements of these songs may seem simplistic and 'bare' by today's standards, these songs possessed a kind of simple charm and flavor, which is difficult to find and almost impossible to replicate in modern pop compositions some 20+ years down the road today.

It was until I joined the NUS Guitar Ensemble (GENUS) in the mid 90s that I started to have a better appreciation of the classical guitar as a 'proper' concert instrument - as compared to one which is meant only for accompanyment-styled music such as strumming and/or chord playing.
During my years as an undergraduate in GENUS, I was exposed to a myriad of songs varieties, from different genres of music. The Resident Conductor then was Mr Alexander Abisheganaden (more fondly known as Mr A), who'd almost single-handedly arrange the repertoire and prepare the ensemble for its annual music affair - the Genus Annual concert. It was there that I first encountered experienced solo guitar players - people who were able to play a piece of music in totality without depending on a singer/other guitar voices. Prior to this, I'd always thought of guitar as a group instrument (as compared to the piano, which is obviously more easily recognised as a solo instrument).

I remembered listening to John William's recording on cassette tape (in fact, I got that recording as a birthday present from one of my seniors then!) and I wondered how it was possible for a person to play Asturias (Leyenda) which sounded like easily 2 or 3 players playing at the same time! Or for that matter, Receurdos de la Alhumbra also remained a mystery to me for quite a while....

I guess that was when I really decided to take on this instrument as a life-long hobby and to enjoy playing it for as long as I live. I took the money which I saved from giving tuition and my work attachment to purchase my first 'proper' guitar - a second-hand Asturias model. It was a large step up for me. The sound produced from this instrument compared to what my Yamaha could produce was akin to listening to a CD-quality sound compared to that from a cassette tape. I fell in love with my guitar and that fueled my passion to begin playing and expanding my solo repertoire.

While some players feel that ensemble-playing is second-rated compared to solo guitar playing, I must say that at no point did I feel that ensemble playing was in any way inferior to solo playing, as I continued to stay with GENUS and enjoy the process of group playing. While not all ensemble players may make excellent soloists, it also dawned on me that technically strong solo guitarists may not necessary be competent ensemble players too. The reason being, different sets of skills are required for these 2 areas, and while the technical competency requirements may be higher for a solo player, the listening and rhythm skills are of much more value (and importance) in a ensemble player.

It was also in GENUS that I found like-minded guitarists who enjoyed playing the instrument and wanted to take it far beyond it being an "extra-cirrucular" activity in our varsity days. That was how Guitaresque (first called Genres Guitar Quartet) was formed, sometime in 1999-2000.
Back then, we had a member in the quartet who'd bought a Richard Howell guitar, and it was easily the best sounding (not to mention most expensive!) guitar we have all come across at that time. I must say, even now, I still think it is an excellent instrument. Pity then , that the player no longer seem interested in the instrument and its music....

The little moments

2010-02-06T09:37:00.000+08:00

As parents, most of us'd always make it a point to celebrate those special days with our kids - be it their birthdays ( ang-moh and chinese birthdays, sometimes both!); children's day, or any other particular special occasion that we deem "worth" commemorating and celebrating.

Yet (and I read this on the James Dobson's column in Today), it's really some of those small moments which we tend to recall and look back on, after a long long time. And each time we think of those short (and seemingly passing) yet significant moments in our kid's life, it always brings a smile and a nostalgic shake of our heads.

Recently EP and I celebrated beastie's 2nd birthday. We each applied for leave from work, to spend the day with him. We'd wanted to bring him to Sentosa (as it happened to be the day that the Resort World Sentosa officially opens) and spend "quality" time as a family together.
Well, not that the actual day wasn't a good one, it just didn't turn out to be a specially memorable one in the end. In fact, we were largely disappointed with the RWS - as many shops were not yet opened, and there were pretty much little to see besides hotel lobbies and cafes...

Instead, I realised that little 'incidents' which occur on "normal" days - like on weekday evenings at my in-law's place, or after we've brought him back home; or over the weekends - tend to be the ones which create lasting memories.

For example, beastie recently got hooked on Barnie and Bob the Builder. He loves to read the books on Barnie (rather, he wants us to read to him), and each night he'd badger us to play the Barnie/Bob videos for him.
This creates a slight dilema for us, as sometimes we'd also want to watch certain programmes on the TV in the living room. Hence, I would lead him to the study (well, actually it's going to be his room eventually), and play the DVD for him to watch. This usually keeps him occupied for around 10-15 minutes.

Last night, we did the same thing. But what was interesting was that as we left him alone in the room to watch the Barnie video (by himself), after 5 minutes, we could hear him singing along to the song in the video! We took and peep and found him standing up trying to dance along with the characters on the screen too! It was really cute! We then quietly took out the video camera and starting filming it all down. =)

There are many more examples of little moments like this one which I will certainly remember for a long time, and will think back with great fondness.
I'm glad we've captured at least one of them on film!

Cheers

First (things) First!

2010-01-26T21:13:00.000+08:00

So much has been said about Singaporean's (lack of) social grace - particularly by Singaporeans themselves. Every now and then, someone writes the national newspapers or tabloid papers about how he or she witnessed this "horrible", "untolerable" and "ugly" Singaporean behavior in the public space (mostly on our pubilc transportation arena). About how we have supposedly come "so far" as a "first world nation", yet are displaying so-called "worse than third world" levels of social grace.

Examples are aplenty - from the refusal to give up (priority) seats in the MRTs, the buses; to the refusal to observe the yellow box designate space at MRT alighting platforms; to the abled-body people (mis)using the lifts at the MRT, which are meant for the old and disabled persons; and the list continues. If I wasn't a Singaporean accustomed to reading these people yak on the papers, I will definitely assume the worse of this little red dot of a country.
"What kind of monsters live and breed on this island???", I'd think.

And everyone (of these writers) has a theory or opinion on how to rectify these bad behaviors.

"Fine them!", screams one writer. *on a side note: I do agree that Singapore IS a "fine" country. In both sense of the word*

"Educate them!", calls another.

"Humiliate them!", exhorts a third.

Will these methods work? Maybe. But if this symptom of "social ugliness" is a disease, then I think finding the cure for it may not be good enough. Not in the long term anyway. Like any other disease, we'd have to study and find out the source of its origins, and nip it at the bud.

An article in TODAY papers today (hmmm..), wrote about some of our country's leaders trying to determine an "economic value" to social graciousness. Specifically, they were refering to how some previous government-led courtesy campaigns have led to better levels of social awareness, leading to higher levels of customer service standards, while eventually translated to increased tourism activity (ie. economic gains).

I find that interesting. Indeed, I believe the source of Singaporean's apparent lack of social grace stem from this constant and incessant push (by our leaders) for Singaporeans to achieve higher levels of productivity, higher sense of urgency, higher degree of specialisation, higher... everything!
You see this pressure exerted on our young in schools - complex concepts and mathematics are being taught to children at a younger and younger age. What used to be a Secondary 1 topic is now being taught in Primary 4. Every school-going kid is told by their parents (and teachers) to study as hard as they possibly can, in order to stay ahead of the competition. Every teacher is trying to outdo their fellow teacher by showing that their students can score better in exams. Every Principal is trying to out-score their counterparts by getting higher levels of passing statistics for their schools.

In the fast-paced working society, this rat race is even more evident.
People pushing hard to climb the corporate ladders - some work longer hours, sacrificing family time, while others resort to backstabbing co-workers in order to get ahead in the race.
Sales people trying all kinds of tactics to reach their sales targets (hence bonuses) - sometimes resulting in a bad fallout, such as the one the financial industry recently experience (where banks' sales staff "pushed" unsuitable investment products to certain groups of investors).

We want to be first. We NEED to be first!

Why? I sometimes ask myself that question. So what if we are not first, and fall behind the pack a little. So what?
Well, like what our leaders are constantly reminding us these days - Singaporeans are facing much stiffer competition from the foreigners these days. These "foreign talents" will take aways our jobs if we dont join the race and run fast. The world is moving along and we'll get dragged into a deep black hole if we dont fend for ourselves and show some battling spirit to WIN.

We took that all in. Afterall, it is crystal clear that in this cold, meritocratic society, if we don't help ourselves, nobody will. 人不为己,天诛地灭

Is it then any surprise that Singaporeans find it hard to relax? Hard to be nice and smiley to one another? Hard NOT to compete when it comes to getting up the bus, the train, for cabs, etc.? Hard NOT to honk at the idiotic driver who hogs the road, thus preventing me from getting to my destination faster and quicker?

Who was it who said, "Nice guys finish last?" =P

I can dream, can't I?

2010-01-25T20:43:00.000+08:00

Anyone who has worked for at least a number of years must have pondered on this question at one point or another:

Am I in the right job? Is this the line of work that I should be pursuing for the rest of my career/working life ( which in the current loca Singapore context of enormously large mortgage debts owed to the banks, means a lengthy 35-40 years)?

It really is a difficult question to answer. Speaking from personal experience, after working for 12 years since graduating in '98, I am still asking the same question.

Obviously I have gone past the stage of fresh (from school) innocence of looking for that "perfect" job. Simply - there isn't such a thing. Ok... well, to be brutally honest, there IS such a thing, but only if you happen to be born with a silver (or golden/platinum/whatever!) spoon in your mouth. Ie. You have super-rich parents who'd not even blink when you ask them for obscenely large sums of money to set up a business (where you are the boss, of course) in an area of your personal passion or interest.

In my personal scenario, it would be like that this:

Me: "Pa, can I have 3 million dollars?"

Pa: "Ok. Let me get the cheque ready for you."

Me: " Aren't you going to ask me what for?"

Pa: " Nah.. I trust your judgement. (plus, it's not really a large sum of money)" *Didnt I mention "SUPER-rich"?

Me: "I'll tell you anyway. I intend to set up a guitar shop for classical guitar afficionados in Singapore to meet and gather. There, I'll also sell instruments and guitar CDs, plus there'll be a small lounge area (can sell drinks/coffee ) for ppl to sit, talk and listen to guitar music. So I need 1 mil to rent over that shop space (at so-and-so road) and to cover operating costs for a year. Another 1 mil to renovate and furnish up the place decently. The last million to purchase some good concert instruments, and CDs, etc."

Pa: "Sounds good.... anyway, here's the cheque."

~~~ The End ~~~

You see, the "perfect" job does exist - if only in my dreams (or in an alternate reality).

But seriously, I do know of friends who seem pretty happy about their line of work. Take Wolf for example, he's a self-employed fund manager who's passionate about meeting people (added incentive if they are pretty gals, of course) who are also his prospective investors. He loves going out, enjoys good food and is pretty much a wine-lover as well. In his own words, he "enjoys his working life" - as he doesn't need to stay in an office from nine-to-five, doesnt have to report to a any boss, and he pretty much sets his own target of how much to make (depends on how hard he works). Needless to say, he enjoys growing his wealth too.

Another acquitance of mine started a business in rock climbing. He is an avid climber himself, and he rented this shop house, and converted it into a inhouse climbing gym, where people can sign up as members and use the climbing facilities. He also offers climbing consultancy ( I think he brings groups of interested climbers to popular climbing locations overseas).

It occurs to me that both examples above are self-employed. Does it mean that one can only have a "perfect" job if one is self-employed? Perhaps it is not so surprising after all, if you think about it. After all, most self-employed people go into business in an area which they are interested in (or at the minimum, knowledgeable about). For instance, a meat-lover like me would NEVER open a vegetarian restaurant! hahah

Yet, for all their passion and joy of running their respective businesses, these 2 guys have also confessed to me that they are sometimes weighed down by financial concerns. At the end of the day, what joy can there be in running a business where you are worried about the bankers knocking on your door asking for repayment of your loans? Hmm... so their jobs aren't that "perfect" after all, huh?
Again, we are back to square one - IS there such thing as a perfect job?

Yes! When you can be a business owner (tao kay) in an area of your interest and yet have no need to worry about the business not making money to stay afloat - possible when you have SUPER-rich parents whose wealth can "feed" the family for generations and generations. Maybe someone with a net worth of >100 million bucks? =P (looking at some shops I see around Singapore, I dare say many of these must belong to these lucky sons/daughters of the super wealthy families, since there's seemingly NO WAY these shops could've survived for such a long time.. )

Or perhaps more realistically, you run a business (that you love) and that business can self-sustain itself. e.g. In my "dream scenario" above, maybe I can sell one or two concert guitars a month, as well as a couple of CDs, plus the profit made from the drinks sold at the lounge area. Enough to cover operating costs and rental, plus a little something more for me to feed myself (and family) and enjoy my life.

Hahaha...dream dream dream. How I love dreaming....

World Cup

2010-01-21T22:25:00.001+08:00

I am a football fan. Or as EP calls it - "soccer" fan. I find the term "soccer" too American-ise (if there's such a thing!). Afterall, "football" should rightly refer to a sport where the players primarily use their feet to play. As compared to the American football, which is a totally different animal altogether - there the players use their hands to catch and throw the ball, much more often than kicking it with their feet.

Anyway....

This is more about the upcoming "Football" (yeah, I insist!) World Cup, or more commonly known as the FIFA World Cup (FIFA being the global governing body/association for the sport). Football fans around the globe know this competition, even the non-fans are aware that every 4 years, their football-crazed husbands, friends, colleagues, etc.. all become midnight owls (and daytime zombies) over the few weeks when the matches are played and telecast live all over the world. It is one of the biggest sporting events, comparable to the Olympics. And since most of the big football nations are in Europe or South America, the World Cup of the past years have generally been hosted by these countries - which explains why Singaporeans become midnigth owls (and daytime zombies!). The only real exception was the 2002 World Cup, which was co-hosted by Japan and South Korea.

Enough of history. Back to the present.

Here in Singapore, we've always assumed that an event as grand and as popular as the FIFA World Cup would be telecast live in our country. Afterall, we've heard so many boasts from our government and the telecommunication companies, about how "wired up" our country is; how technologically advanced our infrastructure is; how open our news/information flow is; generally - how we are supposedly a "First World" country. Apparently, when it comes to many things - sports and the arts included - we are still far far behind that of the so-called "Third World" nations.
With all high-speed wiring, internet penetration rate, highly-educated work-force, advanced infrastructure setup, blah blah blah- our people here may not even be able to watch a single match one of the biggest sporting competition in the world?!? Sounds a little ridiculous, doesn't it? Yet, it is a sad truth. According to our telcos, FIFA is demanding a "ransom" for the rights to telecast these live matches. Something in the region of $100 million.... Assuming that is true, it really makes me wonder how those supposedly poorer countries can afford to pay? Our neighbours Malaysia is apparently getting the matches (on their free-to-air channels no less! if that is to be believed...), how is it they could pay up this kind of money that our successful and rich telcos cant? Or unless they are able to convince FIFA to charge them less (which also points to incompetence on our part)?

Some Singaporeans have written to suggest we boycott this World Cup - as a sign of protest that we will not be held ransom by these greedy FIFA folks. Perhaps.

"No live matches, then watch delayed/highlights lor", some say.
Perhaps.

"No World Cup, then no World Cup lor... wont die wat", others say.
Sure. But that's like saying to someone who loves eating steak (for example), to give up meat altogether and become a vegetarian. Or for others, it's like telling them to give up sex (ya, wont die wat! ). Huh!

Only a meteor can do that

2010-01-18T21:16:00.001+08:00

The final episode of the 4-part TV series Meteor was aired last night. (As usual, I watched it on the way to work this morning)

In my opinion, it certainly isn't one of those series which you will remember after a while. The premise of its storyline was pretty cliched and predictable - a meteor being deflected off its supposed fligth path and headed straight to Earth (hence the title); people panicking and trying to hang on to their lives and their families'; while others try to "hang each other". =P

I felt that the acting was quite poor, in fact some of the sequences were a little laughable - there was this ruffian-like character who started the show acting like the town's bully, tough guy and all. Yet, after being chided by an elderly policeman over a minor matter, this guy suddenly becomes one of the heroic and self-sacrificing townsfolk, risking his life for the rest. Sounds a little stretched?
How about this father and son gang who charges $25 for a bottle of mineral water (supplies were depleted, and people were desparate); but along comes one of the heroes (protagonist) of the show, gave him a lecture for showing a "bad example" to his son, and miraculously the guy thanked him for the lecture and offered to give him a ride to the nearest town. I think the scenes were funnily bad.. if you know what I mean.

Still, the series did bring out an important and realistic message - that people in extreme adversity tend to show either their BEST or their WORST.
Maybe we can think of it as showing one's "true self" or "true colours", if you like.

In the series, there were many examples of people exploiting the situation (the World was gonna end....) and fellow human beings. People started breaking the law, looting, robbery, raping, etc. became more commonplace. Yet, there were also another group of people trying to keep things calm, maintaining self-control and in the process hoping to restore some civil order to a strained society on the brink of supposed destruction. The rest of the people were just trying to save themselves and their loved ones - something I'm sure many people would be able to identify with.

When I look at what's going on in the real world, the same 'pattern' can be observed. Nations squabbling with one another over trade issues, human rights issues, arms issues, environmental issues, religious issues, and the list goes on. On a higher level, you have the so-called "Developed" countries versus the so-called "Developing" counties; the West versus the East; and on a closer (country) level, you have spats between neighbouring countries over territorial (borders, islands, what-have-yous) disagreements, and fighting within a country due to the use of a (religious) word.
This goes on everyday, it seems. Well, at least if we are to trust the news that we read, that is :P

Yet, whenever a terrible natural disaster strikes a nation - be it first, second, third, fourth, etc. world - all other nations can (at least temporarily) put aside their quarrels and unite to show compassion and empathy towards fellow human beings suffering under the natural-caused calamity. Look at the recent earthquake in Haiti. All at once you have countries across the globe offering aid, both financially and logistically.

It seems like people cannot bear to see other fellow human beings suffer at the hands of a common "enemy" (in this case, Mother Nature); yet they are willing to kill and destroy one another fighting over an something as abstract as a belief or a word. How strange we are indeed.

This recent earthquake also highlighted the BEST and WORST in us. The "best" in the sense of how people all around the world has come together to aid the poor and disaster-strickened Haitian people, most of who you've never even met and will likely never meet for the rest of our lives. The "worst" of people is highlighted for those terrible acts of plunder and murder commited on the lawless streets in the same desparate nation, as many of its people now live on without adequate food, water, and hope.
See the similarities between reality and the TV show now?

Hmm.. maybe Meteor isn't such a bad show afterall.

Lunch talk

2010-01-11T20:44:00.001+08:00

Had lunch with wolf today. We talked about a lot of things (usual for us... what do you expect from 2 guys who've known each other for almost 2 decades? and share many common interest? 英雄所见略同... or maybe some would say 臭味相投. hahaha!). Our dear buddy, Pete should be coming back these couple of days - or perhaps he is already back? - as he is hosting a 1st year birthday celebration for his daughter Sarah coming Saturday at the Ritz.

I was just thinking how sad it is for a parent to miss out so much of your child's first year in his/her life. After all, it's during this phase of their lives that they change the most dramatically - in terms of how they look, how they behave, etc.. everything!
Even Wolf, the self-declared married-but-available(for going out, drinking, socialising, etc... dunno what else??!@? ) guy felt it was "not so good" for a father to be abroad all these time, while his wife and (so far only) child is in Singapore.

Still, who are we to know what goes on in another's family. As they say - 家家有本难念的经. Who knows, perhaps it's a case of "absence makes the heart fonder"? hmm...

Anyway, I'm just glad that he's coming back (even if it's just for a week or two, then he's back to Canada to continue his studies). Really looking forward to catching up with this group of my old buddies. It would be a guy's nights out!

Guitaresque lunch in Jan 2010

2010-01-11T20:38:00.003+08:00

It's been quite a while since the guys hanged out for a proper lunch/dinner as a quartet. In fact, I cant even recall when was the last time we did so....

Ever since I'd moved out of our dear home at The Dew (almost a year ago now....), and our practice venue's moved to LS's place, it's been a little more troublesome for us to have lunch together after our usual Sunday rehearsals. We'd finish with our session normally around 1pm, by which time I'd have to rush off home (as EP would waiting for me to have lunch together), and OG would also need to go off to perform his usual "ta-pao lunch routine" for S. Which leaves Barber and LS - and the latter having to attend his next rehearsal session (with his other orchestra, in which he is a flute player) at 2pm.

While our practices are still very enjoyable (filled with lots of funny moments, and loads of laughters), and we are definitely making progress as a quartet and as individual guitar players, I find it a little sad that we couldnt even find time to sit down and have a nice meal in all these months.

Again, the fact is - we COULD have, only if we'd wanted to. It's just that nobody took the initiative and effort to make it a point to do so. Maybe it was a common understanding (or thought) that since we are already meeting up weekly for our rehearsals, what's the point of having a lunch (or dinner) together anyway? I dont think it is the same though.
Just like how we used to tell the kiddos back in Genus, (ok, I sound "old", but these days when i look at these folks in Genus it really makes me realise how large the age gap really is between the undergrads and the alumni - like us =P) : Go for dinner together after your Sectionals and your Ensemble sessions, cos that's the only way you are going to know the other people better and bond together as a team.

Interactions during rehearsals are great - but these are mostly limited to the scope of music discussions. For instance, we'd laugh at one anothers' mistake (you know - the weird, funny notes. Or when a G# is not supposed to be a G#?!? The guys would probably know what I'm talking about. haha ), we'd talk about guitars (e.g. OG's latest prospects, and his "accouting" ledger. Again, an inside joke), we'd talk about the latest Genus gossips, etc..
But these are only 1 aspect of our lives, really... We wouldn't have time during rehearsals (nor is it relevant) to talk about that holiday trip we'd just gone to, interesting things happening at our workplace, for us to fawn over the little (but already not a baby!) JK, etc..

That was why I decided to call for a team lunch last Sunday, after our rehearsal. It's simply been too long.

And it turned out to be as enjoyable and fun as I'd thought it would be! We had lunch at this pizza/pasta cafe near Barber's home. Ok.. the food wasn't that great, to be honest! But so what? We still have a great time chatting and catching up and sharing stories & gossips.

My hope (and dream) is that one day, we can travel abroad as a quartet and take part in an overseas guitar competition or a festival. Those experience and memories will be worth a lifetime...

America's Got Talent 2009

2010-01-08T22:57:00.001+08:00

I really enjoy watching the reality show - America's Got Talent. This reality contest showcases the various kinds of performing talents in America - from the singers (most common) to the dancers (2nd most common), to the magicians (probably a close 3rd ) and then there're usually a host of other kinds of talents, some you could'nt even imagine before watching the show.

The recently aired (and concluded) season 4 was one of the best season so far, I have to say. There top 10 final acts were all very good (well, with the exception of Grandma Lee, whom I thought was quite funny at first, but later on, it got a bit stale.... and sometimes I couldnt really catch her joke, as it was possibly more suited to the America audience/listeners).

There were of course the various solo/groups of excellent singers, amongst whom I really enjoyed watching and listening to a lady soprano (Barbara Padilla) and a trio of texas cowboys who called themselves the Texas Tenors. They were really professional sounding and could perform on any stage worldwide and not seem out of place. Besides them, there were also other singers who were very good (I guess they're just a bit too old to join American Idol, otherwise they would surely feature amongst the top few finalists there as well). In fact the eventual winner of this year's competition was Kevin Skinner, a farmer whom when he first appeared for the auditions, was seen as a 'joke' - due to his shabby looks, and unshaven face. However, the judges' (and mine as well) jaw literally dropped when he first opened his mouth to sing... great voice...

But other than the singers, there was also a group which comprised of 5 sisters who were all married with children (they'd once mentioned that together, they had 17 kids! unbelievable....). This incredible group of sisters loved dancing , and have been dancing together for the better part of their lives. And it shows! Even at this not-very-young-anymore (they looked to be in their late thirties ) age, they could still dance with such gusto and coordination. Plus, of course the choreography was first class too. Really excellent to watch!

Another group which stood out for me was Recycled Percussion - a group of 4 guys who utilises recycled materials to form the basis of their instrumental band. They once used an old van, cut it up into half, and banged on the inside, outside , topside, bottomside, etc.. to create their own brand of music! Normally, loud, heavy percussive music isn't really my cup of tea, but these guys made it look so fun!

I can't wait for the next season of America's Got Talent to come!
* sigh... unfortunately, we'd probably not be able to have something similar in Singapore, as our population is just too small! Also, how much creative talent can we uncover in this rigid, controlled state, where academic development and economic returns are the foremost in everyone's mind?

Jurong Bird Park 31 Dec 2009

2010-01-02T21:55:00.002+08:00

We brought the little beastie to the Jurong Bird Park on the last day of 2009. So little JK got his first glimpse of the exotic types of "bird bird!" in this world. Compared with the previous trip to the Zoo (earlier this year), I felt he was a little more interested with seeing the birds than with the bulls and bears before. haha... Maybe it's because he's a little more grown up now. =)

(btw - on a separate note: little Jing Kai is now 83 centimetres tall! yay!)

Gathering at Botanical Gardens Dec 27 2009

2010-01-02T21:32:00.002+08:00

I organised a year-end get together with some of my close buddies (we knew one another back from Secondary/JC time... so it's been a long time).

It was really good seeing all the kids having a great time running and playing in the grassy expanse of the botanical gardens. The adults were having a good time too, picnicing and catching up with the latest stories and gossips.

I hope this will become a regular thingie for the years to come.. maybe can even expand the group - GT, TP and their families too perhaps? =)

New year thoughts (not resolutions)

2009-12-25T11:35:00.001+08:00

I am not a person who believes in making new year resolutions. Reason being, I simply don't have the mental (and physical) discipline to follow-through.
Okay, maybe it's also because I don't see any particularly pressing desires or needs that requires fulfilment.

For instance, while I would like to lose some weight (who doesnt??? okay, maybe EP doesnt... hoho), it isn't something I am "desparate" about. At least I am not desparate enough to go on a diet or anything. At the moment, all I'm trying to do is to balance out my cravings for fried/oily foods with a more-or-less regular regime of exercise - 2-3 times a week of light gym workout. And I think it's going pretty well at the moment. So no need to make any 'resolution' or promises to keep...

I would like to pick up the cello again if possible. I kind of stopped playing it completely after the beastie arrived in our family. Just didn't have the time and energy to carry on going for lessons. In the new year, I would like to pick it up again. Guitar remains my true love, but the cello is seductively attractive too... :P
Hmm.. maybe one day I can perform a duet with my boy - Guitar and Cello! or Guitar and Piano?! or ... a classical guitar duet!!

How to retire??

2009-12-25T11:33:00.001+08:00

Recently, the topic of "retirement" came up in several of my chats - with colleagues, ex-colleagues as well as with friends. It may sound a little early for us to be thinking of retirement - we are all in our thirties, by the way - but in today's context, if one doesnt actively think (and plan!) for retirement, most likely one never would retire!

Seriously, "retirement" has long been viewed as a kind of reward - for slogging the majority of our productive years of life working in jobs which we dont even enjoy doing. Com'on, how many people can honestly say they ENJOY working? I'd wager that many people would (at the most) be satisfied or find their jobs fulfilling, to a certain extent. Like for instance, some people feel a great sense of achievement when they've accomplished something at work - e.g. completion of a project, or promotion, etc. For some people, this is how they guage their self-worth, and does fulfil certain emotional needs, I guess.

But to work because you ENJOY working? Hardly.

I guess the real test for that would be for you to ask yourself: Would you still be happily working at the same job, IF you do not receive a salary/pay for working there? If the answer to that question is "Yes", congratulations, you are living what an ideal retirement lifestyle would be like, in my opinion.

You see, "retirement" doesn't mean doing nothing and staying home staring blankly at the ceiling or walls. No, that is more akin to "waiting to die", I think. Retirement to me means engaging in activities which one enjoys doing, without having to care/worry about maintaining the standard of living that one is used to. Simply put, it means being able to do what you like to do on a regular basis, without thinking about the financial aspects of the activity(s).

The activities one engages in retirement could be simple ones, ranging from gardening, cooking, walking/jogging/swimming, chatting with friends, etc. Or in some cases, it could be expensive ones, like travelling, shopping for luxury goods, fine-dining, etc. Whichever the case, it has to be something that the person ENJOYS doing.

And that is where many people (including myself, I have to admit) get stumped... as clearly, there are 2 aspects to a successful (hence great) retirement: First, you must be able to IDENTIFY an activity (or activities) which you really enjoy doing, since this retirement period can be rather prolonged (we are not talking about just a couple of years. With medical advancements these days, we could be talking decades...). Second, you must be FINANCIALLY able to maintain that lifestyle without worrying about running out of funds before we move on from this world to the next.

I'm not sure which aspect is the tougher one to fulfil, but both are equally important. In truth, for many people I guess the 2 aspects are inter-dependant and closely co-related, since clearly, if one does not have the financial independence to "break free" of the working (and salary) necessity, the kinds of activities one can engage in is also limited to what the society at large deems "productive" (and hence deserving of a financial reward - ie. salary).

Take for example - I enjoy playing the guitar. So when I retire, I am sure the guitar will be part of my retirement activity. That does not mean I love having to conduct guitar classes and teach guitar in schools/music establishments (although there are times when I find it enjoyable lah!). If money is not an issue, I would love to meet up with my regular guitar kakis to jam new songs and play in a guitar ensemble, performing free gigs at public performances, and if possible travel out of Singapore to visit other guitar estalishments and possibly take part in guitar competitions. However, if I need the money to sustain my retirement, I may need to compromise my retirement activities, such that I end up teaching guitar classes and conducting workshops, etc. since these are what the society deem as "productive activities" and I would be paid for participating in them.
To some people, they may say," wow, you're so lucky! You like the guitar, and you can retire playing the guitar!" Little would they know that I'd actually compromised my retirement plans - ie. the financial aspect/considerations has limited my choices for the activities I would've done otherwise.
In other words, it is not really "retirement". Not a successful one, in any case.

I guess that's why Wolf kept harping on the need to generate a "passive income", something that can take care of the financial aspect of retirement. If only it were that easy! Still, I have to keep that in mind and work towards it....

And as for the activity aspect of retirement.....what else besides my guitar.....

How they grow

2009-12-22T20:29:00.001+08:00

Met up with J today over lunch. It's always nice to meet up with ex-colleagues and catch up. For J and I, our main focal point would always be our kids - she has a 3 year old boy, while my little beastie is 2 year old.

I recall about a year back, when we had an department outing at the Botanical Gardens on a Saturday, the 2 boys wore the same clothes! Yep - exactly the same design and prints - except for the size, of course. More unbelievably, according to J, they had the same stroller as well! hahah
* oh, coincidentally.... just last week I re-watched the video clip which I took that day. And realised how small the beastie was then, and how much he has grown over the last year.... Sigh. How time flies...

J told me about the childcare centre that Mat (her boy) was going to, was going to close down (due to tenancy/costs issues). Pretty sad.... especially since it took Mat 2 months to get over the stage of crying and sobbing whenever he goes to school. And just when he's starting to enjoy the company of the other kids and the teachers there, they'd received news of the impending closure of the centre.
That made me think about how we'd eventually have to put the little beastie in a childcare centre - so that he would slowly learn how to be more independent, and can also start picking up the basic life's skills - esp. interaction with other people, besides his family. Just imagining how he would (almost certainly) cry his heart out when we leave him at the centre, brought an ache to my heart. I doubt I'll have the will to walk away from his cries then. (in this aspect, EP is a much tougher parent. No wonder she's Kuja...)

We also talked about travelling with the kid. Apparently, J and P have brought Mat overseas on many occasions already - and as far as Canada (20+ hours flight time) ! Really can't imagine how we'd be able to handle the beastie on a plane for more than a couple of hours. He would surely terrorise us (as well as the neighbouring passengers)! Hence, the travel destination(s) next year will most likely be modest, nearby locations like Bangkok, or maybe Hong Kong or Taiwan. =P

Cameron Highlands (5th - 8th Dec 2009)

2009-12-21T20:13:00.003+08:00

We embarked on our very first overseas trip as a family on 5th Dec - 8th Dec, when we took a Firefly flight to Ipoh, then a coach which brought us up to the cool plains that is known as Cameron Highlands in Malaysia.

Our prelimanary concerns were of course focused on whether the little beastie would be cooperative and could sit through the one and half hour of flight and then another similar duration of coach drive time. The first part proved to be relatively smooth-sailing. Kai was super excited at the airport as his cousin Jamie was there with my parents to send us off. The 2 kids wrecked havoc at the Hans outlet where we had lunch, and the beastie must've expended much of his energy, such that by the time we boarded the plane, he was already almost asleep and managed to subsequently sleep through almost the entire plane ride.

The coach part was not so easy though. We had a tough time trying to get Kai to sit down for even a minute, as he trudged amongst our seats and along the walkway as the bus was moving round and round the mountainous path. It was really pretty tiring!

Finally, we reached our hotel - Equatorial Hotel - at the hilltop (after a rather horrendous time trying to get the coach driver to drop us at the right place. EP had to call up the local agent, and there was the customary screaming into the phone kinda thing...hahah).
The hotel (supposedly a 5 star hotel) was decent enough. We were delighted to find a real fireplace at the lobby (in fact, there were 2 fireplaces), and the beastie was fascinated by the heat and light - a welcome sight with the cold air and dark skies outside. Temperatures were around 18-20 degrees celsius, which to me are just about nice and cool, except when the strong wind blows and the rain pelts down on you... that's when you'd really feel the cold....*shiver*

We booked a day trip to visit some farms - including a strawberry farm, a rose farm and a butterfly farm! It was raining most of the time, making it a challenge for us to carry both the beastie and an umbrella at the same time. Fortunately, most of the times the rain was more a like a constant drizzle and never really became a downpour at any time, so while we were a little wet, bothered and tired (mainly from carrying a 10kg beastie up and down the bus, up and down stairs,etc..), between EP and I, we somehow managed.

It was a great disappointment to us when we found out that due to the large number of visitors, strawberry picking was only allowed on the farms only on weekends. So, on the 3rd day, we suddenly found ourselves with very little to do! EP was particularly agitated that our hotel did not have a spa or massage parlour (hahaha). Looks like our next trip would have to be BKK again..woohoo..

The nearest town to our hotel, Brinchang, was really not much larger than say, Bukit Batok or Clementi town centre area. After taking a cab/hotel coach down there a couple of times, we could more or less memorize the shop locations already! It didnt help that many of the shows sold similar stuff - strawberry key chains, strawberry chocolates, strawberry fridge magnets, strawberry prints T-shirts, strawberry.... you name it, as long as it's strawberry related, they'd have it!
I rather enjoyed the zi-char stalls over there though - I though their food tasted better than what we have back here, but EP says I'm biased... maybe it was the colder weather there that made the hot food taste more delicious?!

I didnt really mind too much though, lazing around and doing very little in the hotel, as long as the little beastie was having fun. And it sure looked like he was! =)
Overall, I thought the trip was more for us to relax (read: do nothing), and spend quality time together as a family -especially with the little one. Really look forward to our next outing!!

THE question

2009-11-24T19:08:00.001+08:00

Today mum popped that question again while we were having breakfast....

Which question? Noorrrr.. THAT one lor... A clue: Basically it is the equivalent of what you'd ask a single person, "hey, when are you getting married?"; and what you'd ask a married couple with no kids, "hey, when are you folks having children?"

So, to a guy who's married, and who has ONE kid already, what else could an over-zealous mum ask for?

Haha... ya.. THAT question lor.

To be honest, I had consider that possibility (can't speak for my other half tho :P) but thinking about the stress of enduring another 9 months of emotional unpredictability and mood swings from the other half.... then followed by 1 month of "associate" confinement.... then the seemingly endless sleepless nights (it's a 2 hourly automatic alarm! ) and definitely not least the extra financial burden of taking care of another beastie....

Admittedly, it's a scary thought.

Still, whenever I look at that smiling face and into those little eyes of my boy, I cant help but feel this warm fuzzy feeling. It's certainly worth every single ounce of discomfort or suffering any parent would have to go through to get here. Maybe that is why many couples chose to "bite the bullet" again. Well, for those couples who like children, anyway. =)

老了，老了

2009-11-16T19:47:00.000+08:00

You know you've definitely moved on to the "next stage" of your life when you attend a wedding dinner:

1) tugging a little one with you, and who happens to the object of attention whenever family and friends talk to you. Conversations are never far from
"Wow, he's so big already? How old is he now?" or
"Hey, you boy is soooo cute! Looks a lot like ____ (either me or my wife, depending on who they know better)" or
"Wah, happy family. So nice! So when's number 2 coming along?"

2) And instead of checking out pretty girls/ladies in the crowd, you spend almost ALL your time/energy making sure the little one is not falling off his chair, or attempting a magic trick - that of pulling off the table cloth, with all the plates and cutleries siting on top of it.

3) And you shake you head with a rueful smile when you see the wedded couple's video onscreen, thinking, "ahhhh... so nice to be young" or "Wah leow... how childish they look!"

4) And every time the emcee(s) request for the guests to stand up (to welcome the bride & groom, as well as to do the toast), you feel reluctant to move your butt off the chair, and can only do so with a audible grunt of effort.

And lastly.... and most sadly...

5) And you have to leave at the 4th dish (typically the roast chicken/duck) because it's already 10pm and past the little one's milk/bed time!

Sigh....

Evil

2009-11-09T21:02:00.000+08:00

I read with shock and disbelief about a case on the papers, about a father murdering his 2 young kids (the boy was 5 and the girl just 3!) before falling to his death from a 12th floor parapet. This happened at Ang Mo Kio, not in some western country, where you'd often hear of gunmen firing in crowds, mass murderers being caught with multiple corpses in their homes, etc.. so much so that after a while, you become a little desensitised to such horrific news. Afterall, these events happened at places where the culture is different, the security (or lack of, in some cases) conditions are different, and most importantly, the values of the people are different from here.
But when such a tragedy happens locally, it sends shock waves throughout the nation much more than any foreign-based news would.

This particular piece of news - more than many others - angered me. How can a father bear to kill his children??? He must be either struck with (temporary) insanity, or... or... I dont even have words to describe such selfish behavior. It was reported that the father was deep in debt due to gambling issues, and that the couple was also having marital problems in that his wife was threatening divorce. Regardless of how much problems one has, I cannot believe and I can never, ever forgive a parent for murdering his/her child.

From a toddler's perspective, his parents are the people whom he has absolute trust (and love) in. Speaking from personal experience, I can see it in the eyes of my boy when he looks at me each time. He may be wilful and disobedient sometimes, but there is never any doubt, never any suspicion or guardedness - just complete trust.
So imagine how the 2 children must have felt at the moment their father - a person whom they trusted with their lives - took their fragile lives away by violence means.

My colleagues speculated that maybe he was in large debts and "he didn't want his children to suffer with him". To me, that is completely nonsense... He should in fact have "eased their suffering" by just leaving his children in the care of his wife (whom by all accounts reported, is at least more responsible than him, as a parent) and just go kill himself. Maybe the insurance claims might even help his family a little....

Ok.. I'm sorry for being a little callous about this guy's personal tragedy, but I'm not sure he deserve any sympathies after the things he did. Who knows, maybe he killed his kids partly to spite his wife, who was reportedly considering a divorce due to his gambling problems.

Sigh..

I'm not sure if money the root of all evils, but it sure is the cause of many of them. Imagine next year, with the casinos opened and all...

Parental Guidance

2009-10-27T11:21:00.002+08:00

It is a Tuesday, and I am at home. Normally, this would either mean I am sick and on medical leave, or I am happily spending time off work (annual leave)to enjoy life.

But this is quite a stressful time, because I am on urgent child care leave to stay close to my boy who is having high fever. He has been sick since Sunday, but his temperature climbed steadily to a high of 38.9 degree celcius last night.

EP claimed I was 没用, in the sense that I wasn't really able to look after JK's needs, other than carry him and comfort him in my arms. She had to force him to take his medicine, ignoring all his crying and struggling. My job was primarily to physically restrain him while we feed him the meds, as well as when the doctor was trying to take his temperature and examine his throat.

Feeling him straining to use his last ounce of energy to break free (under my grasp) and crying so badly that he was virtually choking under his tears and runny nose, I felt terribly helpless. And it broke my heart...

As you would expect, we didnt really had much sleep as he is constantly waking up and crying. We took turn to hold him and pat him to calm him down while trying to feed him so water to sooth his infected throat. It's been almost a day since he's had anything substantial to eat/drink. He simply refuses to take anything.

Thus, the morning saw me calling my boss to request for urgent leave - to be near my boy so I can visit him regularly (we still brought him over to my in-law's place, as my mum-in-law is much better equipped to take care of him than clumsy me) ; and also because I doubt I will be able to focus at work anyway. Lack of sleep and constant worrying are surely factors that severely limit my ability to function at work.

I'm not sure why I'd become so 没用 (to be sure, it only applies to matters related to my boy).... sigh. Maybe it's genes - since my mum (and her mum) is also a worry-to-death kind of parent.

These emotions used to be totally unimaginable in those days where the only worry was money and time to spend (enjoying life).
I guess if you are a parent, you can probably empathise with what I'm feeling.

Big news small news

2009-10-08T20:59:00.000+08:00

Singapore is a small country, and pretty well-governed. Well, at least in terms of having rules on what we can do and what we can't do. In the past, there have been cases where overseas personalities have commented that the rules and control here made the country so rigid that it has become devoid of creativity and even life itself. Looking at the often colourful news we hear from other countries in the papers or internet, you'd tend to agree with some of these criticism, though I'm not sure if it's all a bad thing to have more certainty and order in a country. Perhaps it's because I am myself a product of this system.

But certainly, news-worthy material appears hard to come by, so much so that a recent debacle over the "qualifications" (or lack of) of a former Miss World beauty queen actually hogged the local newspapers headlines for not less than a week running.
The long and short of it was - Miss Ris Low was crowned as Miss World Singapore, and was supposed to represent the country in the internation Miss World contest. Obviously, some people weren't too happy with that decision, and made an attempt to bombard her with lots of criticism, mostly centering on her lousy command of the English language. Then to compound matters, they dug up her inglorious history - that she had been convicted of credit card fraud just months before her win in the competition. Next, news spread that she had also cheated on her exams (by bringing her lecture notes into the exam hall).

So much beating and over so small a matter.... In the first place, who gives a hoot about the Miss World competition anyway??? Even the more glamorous Miss Universe Singapore contest is no longer shown on our local TV (lack of interest and thus sponsors, I guess). In cold pragmatic Singapore, we only care about economic progress and distinction and of course, profitability (just like any profit-driven private corporation). Nobody evers thinks much about (the value) of anything outside that realm. Arts and cultural activities are "nice to have", to be promoted only when budget allows - ie. when times are good, and usually are the first thing(s) to be sacrificed in an economic crunch-time. And sports, well, let's just say if the Singapore dollar can't buy us instant success, we're doomed as well.
So where in tiny Singapore is there room (and money!!) left for such thing as a beauty contest? Other countries actually have schools set up to groom potential and aspiring beauty queens! In Singapore, if ever there was such a school, it would surely die a natural death, as most parents would certainly not want their child to enrol in such an institution fearing that it would detract them from the "bright" future as a doctor, lawyer or banker.

It is a sign of how things are in Singapore, when our journalists are busy interviewing an ex-beauty queen and digging out more dirt (from eager informants) to splash on the pages of their papers, all because Singaporeans love to hate a certain Miss Ris Low.

Kite Festival

2009-09-19T10:29:00.003+08:00

Was supposed to put up this writeup weeks ago... but just didnt get down to uploading the photos...hehe

=====================================================================================

It was a sunny afternoon last Saturday. We decided to bring JK to the kite festival organised by the NTUC group, held at the West Coast Park.

We were a little taken aback by the sight of cars flooding the road (and roadsides) we drove nearer to the park, and by then it was clear that driving was perhaps not the best way to reach our destination. In the end we parked at West coast plaza, and took at cab there instead. Incidentally, that must've been the shortest cab journey I took - it lasted no more than 3-4 minutes. But it got us where we wanted to go, without the hassle of jostling for a parking lot with hundreds of other impatient drivers there then.

The park was (by then) packed with families - it was about 530pm. Kites of numerous shapes and sizes were already air-bourne and it was definitely a sight to behold! JK seemed a little confused about the whole affair, as he was peroccupied with the buzz of human traffic and noise all around him. There were many kids running around, and it must've been pretty exciting for him to see so many "gor-gor"s and "jie-jie"s all over the place. As expected, he clinged on to us pretty tight in the initial period, until later on when he was more comfortable and settled.

EP had prepared a nice dinner for us - consisting of sandwiches (actually, it was more like toasted bread with egg "implant" :=) ) and chicken meat skewers and sausages. It was our first real family picnic together! The last time we brought JK out for a picnic (of sorts) was at a time when he was still baby who couldnt walk by himself. It was a gathering with my (now) ex-colleagues at the Botanical gardens late last year. See how time flies?

Anyway, I think JK enjoyed himself on Saturday, though most of the time, he seemed more interested in what we were eating, and throwing our meal boxes around. He was also fascinated about how the grass felt under his bare feet, although mostly he didnt really dared to venture out of the mat too often. The "high" point for him was when I seated him on my shoulders for a walk around the nearby area - to get into the thick of the action amongst the crowd and nearer to the kites for a better view. Seeing him so excited really made my day!

I'm looking forward to our next outing. =)

Cough...cough...Arrrgghhh! where's my fresh air???

2009-09-17T19:23:00.000+08:00

I don't know what made me suddenly think of Isaac Asimov's Robot novels this morning, but I did.
I guess it could be due to the slight drizzle I encountered as I trot to the bus stop (after dropping off the beastie at his granny's place).

I really hate the weather these days. Especially when you are caught in the rain without an umbrella. Why doesn't it rain when it should - ie. in the late evening when we're mostly comfortably home?

The recent haze also played its part in my increased level of discomfort (I have sensitive nose and throat) and thus disgruntled-ness in the Singapore weather. Someone ought to really shoot those buggers who continue to burn down the forest like nobody's business. The amount of smoke (and resulting haze) they create is really acting like a chemical weapon, invading those in their neighbouring countries. It's almost like having a million smokers puffing into your face as you walk down the streets....

Anyway, why did I mention Asimov earlier? Well, he'd described the future Earth as being "Caves of Steel" (which was the title of the first novel in the Robot series, I think), where people all lived underground, comfortably sheltered by these ill-effects of any natural (or man-made, in this case) weather elements, such as rain, thunderstorms, strong winds, etc. Everything from air flow, air temperature, to brightness and windiness, etc. are controlled by man, so as to create a constantly "comfortable" environment.
I remember at one point, the protagonist in the Robot series - Elijah Bailey - was mortified as he was exposed to the natural elements (think it was a thunderstorm).

I used to think it would be quite sad if one day people on Earth truly lived their lives in caves of steel. But with the haze and all, maybe it isn't such a bad idea after all huh?

Life's priorities

2009-09-14T20:54:00.000+08:00

It is true that once your friends are married, they'd become harder to find and get hold of - especially for those typical dinner outings or a simple get togethers. It becomes even more difficult once they have children, especially in the initial few years.

Being in such a situation myself (married with a young child), I can totally understand the reasons behind such an observation. Although it has to be said, some people are more drastically "impacted" than others.

Take for instance my good buddy, BL - a married man with 2 young kids, although you wouldn't be able to tell that by his behavior. That is because he behaves virtually like any singles would. He goes out with his friends, stays out late (though he claims it's mostly for business.. haha), and is usually the one who organises get together and movie outings.

Then there's the other end of the spectrum, another friend of mine who got married 2 years back and has since "vanished" into thin air. No news from him whatsoever, no calls, no emails responses, SMSes, etc. We found out that his wife gave birth to a baby through some Facebook photos which he put up last year. (well, at least FB is good for that.... in a way)

I'd probably lie somewhere in the middle, I think. It is certainly true that after having JK, attending friends' gatherings have become more challenging. Just recently, the Xpose folks celebrated a couple of members' bday after practice on a saturday evening. But with JK's habit of taking >1 hour for each meal, it was virtually impossible for us to join the guys for dinner. In fact, if you factor in the hours he needs for day naps, and his long meal times, there's hardly any time left in-between for us to take him anywhere! It can really be frustrating, trust me.

At the end of the day, it is really up to the couple to manage their time (and the kid!) to ensure they don't lose touch with their friends. Certainly with more responsibilities (as a husband/wife and especially as a parent) comes the necessary sacrifices, particular in the freedom of time. As I've mentioned earlier, being someone in this situation, I can fully understand the challenges involved.

I hope my (single) friends can empathise with us (the married with kids ones) too....

My upcoming performance!

2009-09-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

Truth & marriage

2009-09-04T20:51:00.001+08:00

"..... for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health....Do you take so-and-so to be your husband/wife?"

These words will be familiar to many who have walked down the aisle in the path towards marriage. Even to the singles, they will have heard it at least once when they attended a friend/relative's ceremony of marriage certification (commonly called "ROM" in Singapore), if not then on television. =P
Today paper (James Dobson's segment) brought this up, and claimed that many (notably, younger) couples' answer the the series of vows above are,
" Yes No Yes No No Yes", which I found rather amusing.

I am no marriage expert, but having been married for almost 7 years now, I do know that sometimes it really takes effort to keep a marriage healthy and "alive". As a matter of fact, I venture to say that it takes effort to maintain ANY relationship, let alone one as intimate as that of husband and wife.

Which brings up a TV reality show I watched last night - "The Moment of Truth". This is a pretty warped show, which supposedly feature (since I don't know for sure if the participants are REALLY who they claim they are, or were they just actors/actresses hired to put up a good show) normal people who volunteers to go through a series of questions with the ultimate aim of winning half a million dollars.
It starts with the contestant undergoing a lie detector test (they dont really show this part), and answer a series of 50 questions. At this stage, using the results of the lie detector, the producers of the programme will determine the "truthful" answer to each of the question asked. Then, in the actual show, the contestant will sit in front of a live audience plus a group of his/her family & friends and attempt to answer 21 questions "truthfully" in order to win the big money.
Sounds like a simple game right? No need to answer stupendously difficult IQ or general knowledge questions, no need to remember lyrics of long-forgotten songs, no need to even sweat it out. Just sit in a comfortable chair and... be truthful. Well, of course it isn't that easy. The questions asked range from the hilarious ones (usually at the lower cash prize level) to the seriously intimate & private ones, as the prize money increases.

Last night's episode saw this lady - who has been married for just 2 years - provide some shocking answers to some questions which really rocked her marriage. I mean (and assuming the whole show wasn't staged) if I were the husband, I wouldn't know if I would even bother to stay married at all.
Some of the questions were something like,

"Have you ever had sexual relations with any other man besides your husband, AFTER your marriage?"
"Do you think you were still in love with you ex-boyfriend on the day of your wedding?"

And the ultimate one was when the show's producers actually got the lady's ex-boyfriend to come to the show and asked the following question,

"If I wanted to get back together with you right now, would you leave your husband?" &
"Do you always feel that I am the man you were supposed to marry, instead of your husband?"

(Incidentally, her answers to all the above questions were "Yes" - which happened to be the "TRUTH".)

Amazing.... that some people would actually go on a show like this, for a chance to win a meagre $500,000. (yes, that sum is meagre, if you consider what the contestant has to go through... Again, assuming the whole show wasn't staged lah)

We are all imperfect peolpe, and sometimes we make mistakes - though some mistakes can be more devastating than others - , but I firmly believe that some truths are better left hidden. Put it simply, we sometimes just can't handle the truth. It is often better to live blissfully in ignorance rather than to live a life of guilt, regret or hate just to seek out the truth.

Living standards

2009-08-28T20:13:00.000+08:00

An article in Today written by this lady who calls herself "Budget Tai Tai" (BTT) piqued my interest.
She's currently working in Hong Kong, and earning 20% more in terms of her last drawn salary while she was in Singapore.

20%!??! Wow, not a bad increment for doing essentially the same job and at the same time getting a chance to move abroad to experience a different sort of life eh? That's what a lot of her friends and acquintances thought too. Apparently, she's been getting these "green-eyed" feedback and responses from people who poured out their envy and told her how lucky she was.

But no - according to her, the cost of living in HK - for an Asian, at least - can be much higher than that in Singapore. She qualified this by comparing the cost of assessible food (ie. not comparing high-class restaurants and fine dining, that sort of things), the public transport, and lastly rental costs.

First, food.
Actually, no surprises there. Although the prices of hawker fare has been consistently going up over the years (a bowl of noodles probably cost $1.50 ten over years ago. Now they cost $2.50 - $3.00. That's like 60-100% jump in 10+ years), Singapore can still boast of being one of the most affordable developed countries when it comes to dining outside. I mean, if you don't compare with some of the other nearby Asian countries (where there are arguably much cheaper food stuff, but tyically sold at pretty run-down places, not to mention the hygiene factor!), Singapore is really an excellent place for having a decent meal outside of your home. Like what BTT said, if you compare having a decent chinese meal at our foodcourts compared to HK's 茶餐厅, certainly the latter option costs more.

Next, public transport.
Again, this seems to favor Singapore. A single trip on our MRT (or bus, for that matter) cost no more than $2++ (not sure exactly how much, but I seriously don't think it's more than $3), whereas in HK apparently a similar trip can cost $4-$5 (converted to SGD).
I'm lazy to actually check out their cab fares, but I have a feeling it is probably comparable to ours.

Lastly, housing cost.
According to BTT, rental costs are much higher in HK compared to Singapore, but I suspect she is not comparing apple-to-apple. I mean, if you take a 3-room HDB flat located at the outskirts (esp. far away from town and not near an MRT station), of course the rents can be quite low, compared to a small apartment located in HK/Kowloon, if it is conveniently located.

Does that mean people in Singapore really have it that great? Well, if that were really the case, our leader wouldn't have to worry so much about the current brain drain now, would they?

In fairness, I can say this.... Here in Singapore, when it comes to food and (public) transportation, we do seem to have a greater range of choices - from the very affordable to the expensive - as compared with many developed countries.

Look, if you could be happy with having 3 simple $2 meals per day (even in Raffles Place area, you can find food at that price!), drink tap water (which is clean enough to drink in Singapore, by the way), and say take 2 trips of the bus/MRT at $1.50 per trip, to "survive" a day would only cost you a total of $6 + $3 = $9 per day!
On a monthly basis (theoretically), one could live with less than $300.
* Oh, you can even enjoy "free" air-conditioning comfort in the public libraries and the hordes of shopping centres located all over the island.

However, that is assuming you already have a roof over your head. And a place in Singapore is NOT cheap.

Furthermore, how many of us can truly be contented with such a lifestyle?

End of the world dream...

2009-08-27T20:46:00.001+08:00

I dreamt of the end of the world last night.... Rather surprisingly, it wasn't as frightening as I'd thought it would be. But I'll start from the beginning. It's really quite weird.

You know how dreams are - they are always bits and pieces of scenarios, all un-connected and seemingly unrelated. The people who appear in my dreams are a mixture of people I know and some unfamiliar ones. Well, actually for these "unknown" people, they appear more as feelings rather than precise faces. Somehow, you just know you dont know them! Weird huh? =P

Anyway, it was a series of scenarios as mentioned. In one of them, I saw my boss and her family, and I was with beastie JK. Naturally, all the fuss was about kids and babies, seeing how they interacted and played together. Funnily, it was in a coffeeshop kind of setting.

A second scene. This time I was queuing up for some stuff. Wasn't exactly clear what it was for, but the queue was extremely long, and the human line went into this cramped little office space, and at one point, the queue extended down some stairs. I recall at the end of the queue, we picked up some disc (think they were movie DVDs!). This probably led to the 3rd scene...

I was with BL (maybe that's why the association with movies, DVDs..haha!) but we seem to be rushing somewhere. I remembered it felt cold, and we needed to rush into a vehicle or something. Then I seem to have left something behind, and had to turn back to pick it up - there was a sense of regret and panic as I had to run back. I asked BL to go ahead. The car sped off... I then saw/felt/experience a bright light which looked like a silent explosion in the far horizon.

Final scene. I barged into a classroom-like place, where a teacher (or professor) was conducting a lesson. I think it was something to do with Astrology. Somehow, I knew something was wrong, and I picked up the chalk/marker and started to tell the class my theory. Many were stunned at what I knew, and some were lost for words. A few started to ask some questions which I answered readily. There were a couple of guys who instantly knew that I was right. I gathered the group of them and wanted to warn them further, but it was too late. Out of the window, a blinding white light could be seen over the horizon, and very quickly, the rays of white light expanded towards our location. The last thing I remembered was shouting out to this group of folks to huddle together and focus their minds (not sure what that would do...) when it comes.
The blast came over us........ and I closed my eyes (in my dreams lah).

And then, a strange beeping sound was heard.

EP's alarm clock! Oh no, time to wake and bring beastie to his granny's place... and then to work.

Helping to advertise a book!

2009-08-26T22:31:00.002+08:00

My sis-in-law recently got her book published! EP has read it and found it pretty interesting. I have t admit, I have yet to read it (besides looking at some of the nice photos of the bento sets. Looks yummy!), but will surely find some time to do so.

The book should hit the stores sometime in Sept.

Work till we drop?

2009-08-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

I sometimes wonder whether it is still worthwhile thinking about retirement. It was supposed to be a time when one can finally "enjoy life" - whatever that's left of it anyway - and not worry about any sort of financial commitments and associated worries.

The current trend, however, is that there IS no such thing as "retirement" anymore. Not in Singapore anyway. At least that's what our leaders are telling us. Where there used to be a fixed retirement age of 62 (or was it 60?), now this appears to be a moving target. One that is constantly being pushed later and later. What choice do we have? The population is greying. If the elderly doesn't work, who will then support this country and ensure the economy doesn't collapse under its own weight?

Then, there's that argument that retirement should -not- be about "doing nothing", as that would slowly but surely take away the reason to live. This I do not dispute. Yet, must the activity a retiree engage in necessarily be "productive" and more importantly - contributing the economy? In my opinion, when a person hits his/her 60s, surely he deserves to DECIDE for himself, what he wants to do with his life. Afterall, he has spent the last 3 and a half decades ( or possibly 4) slogging it out on the job, just to bring home the dough and feed the family.

Yes, if one has done proper financial planning (which has to start as early as possible, it must be added), he can afford to "declare" his own retirement at any point in his life. In fact, a friend of mine ever boasted that his retirement age would be in the 40s! Still, the fact that the government locks away a substantial amount of money that belongs to the individual, till he's deemed 'old enough' to withdraw the funds - in the form of the Central Provident Fund - says a lot about the state of financial understanding and saavy-ness of the people. Or at least that's how the government perceives its citizenry to be - that they can't be left to decide when they can retire.

Funnily, even as the government tries to get the nation's folks to work longer, the recent spate of letters in the papers suggest that sometimes it takes more than 2 hands to clap. Yes, the seniors are responding to the call, whether out of willingness or necessity, but no company wants to employ them! Unless the public sector (again, led by the government) display the courage to walk the talk, and start employing folks in their 50s and 60s, I wouldn't bet on the private companies doing anything heroic. The perception of older folks being more demanding (in terms of their working hours, nature and renumeration), less adaptable and creative, compared to their younger counterparts is sticking to the minds of the HR consultants. Some companies even go as far as to reject the prospect just by ascertaining their age at the onset.

It is futile to argue on the rights and wrongs of their approach. Afterall, private companies exist only for the purpose of generating profits, be it for their shareholders or for the private owners. Thus, they will do whatever they deem to be beneficial for the organisation's growth and ultimately the bottom line. The only way these companies are going to be convinced about hiring older workers, is for the government/public sector to take this leap of faith first. If the public sector starts to employ the older workers (in sizable numbers, mindyou - not just a handful for publicity sake!) and can be seem to be doing well and prospering, it may just send the neccesary message to the private sector to turn their heads in this direction.

Unfortunately, as far as many of us could tell, even the government/public agencies are not convinced of its leaders message, and they continue to place the utmost importance and emphasis on attracting the younger talents, from local and abroad. Until this changes substantially, I think our "retirement" age should be capped at 60, don't you?

A father's wish

2009-08-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

Seeing your children grow up.

Surely that must be one of the most important things to a parent. I can certainly relate to that - to be able to watch and witness your child grow up day by day before your eyes, going through the stages of learning and development newfound abilities and skills, and eventually gaining independence and forming his own family - that to me, has to be one of the greatest and most profound joy any father can have.

Why the sudden sentimentality? Well, it was mostly because a lunch topic today, with my buddy, Wolf.

He was telling me about a friend of his, this lady who had contracted breast cancer and currently undergoing chemotherapy. Mind you, she's in her mid-thirties and has 3 young kids in the family. He was telling me how the treatment is causing her so much pain, and that she had to virtually stop working as she is feeling too weak to continue at her job. It is really sad, as the cancer has spreaded to her lungs area, and she is gradually losing her speech as well.

I told Wolf that I'd heard from EP about one of her co-worker's husband also recently losing the battle to cancer. He was even younger - in his early 30s, I believe.

It's so sad to think that these folks wont get to see their children grow up. The kids, being as young as they are now (I'm thinking these kids cant be any older than 4-5, maybe even younger) probably wont feel too much sadness now; but the afflicted parent will certainly be devastated.

I know I would be if it were to happen to me *touch wood*.

And that reminded me suddenly of what a doctor told me not too long ago, during one of my visits to the clinic ( I was down with flu and sore throat, I think). She advised me to watch my blood pressure and diet, and to exercise regularly. When I laughed it off, she gave a stern warning, "Do it if you want to watch you son grow up." ( during our chat, she'd asked me if I had children, and I told her I've got this little baby at home)

I remembered for several weeks after that visit, I was definitely more careful with what I eat, and I made it a point to exercise pretty regularly. Alas, that didnt last for too long, and soon I was back to the super unhealthy regime of having late night snacks, eating super unhealthy food and making excuses all-too-often for not exercising.

This has to change. I WANT to see my boy - my little beastie! - grow up!

It has to start now.

Stakeholder

2009-08-19T10:36:00.000+08:00

I have never been particularly impressed by the government officials in Singapore, well, at least not with their "spirit" of public service. It is difficult to convince anyone you are really doing something for the "good of the country" when at the end of the day, you are getting so much in return FROM the country and its citizens (in terms of renumeration). At best, you can probably say that we have a group of decent administrators running the country, pretty much as any capable management would run a company.

Which is why many skeptics (like me) see Singapore more as a firm, rather than a nation. We're in fact - Singapore Inc.

Besides the issue of our leaders receiving top management pay packages, there're also other striking similarities between this country and a well-managd MNC. They both accept individuals from all over the globe, giving little regard to their country of birth nor their ethnicity, provided they have something of value to contribute to the collective entity - which is a good thing, in my opinion. They both operate in a top-down manner of management, where the leaders decides what's best and steers the group toward what they feel is a better future. Of course, there will be explicit (and open) channels whereby the citizen (read: employee) can provide feedback and voice concerns, but truly - how often are these heard and responded to by the top? And if you're not happy, you are welcome to pack up your bags and head for greener pastures elsewhere, though they will both tell you, "Be a Stayer, not a Quitter". See the similarities?

After the recent National Day Rally speech by PM Lee, I have to admit that managing a country require certain considerations which do not necessarily concern a company. And one of that is - managing the differences and maintaining harmonious living between people of different races & religions.

The managers (boses) in a company would not normally need to fret over such issues and that is because most people are able to relate their work and careers as something close to their daily well-being. It concerns their income and hence their livelihood, so they are unlikely to risk doing something which may jeopardise it in any way. In other words, most of us are willing to work reasonably hard to make sure the company we are working for prosper as an organisation, since we see ourselves as direct "stakeholders". Afterall, who doesn't want a bigger bonus at year end, right?

On a country basis, though, it becomes much harder for people to think that way. Reason being - we have come to take for granted that we'd always have a home to go to when we're tired, the chance to walk on the streets without being harassed, the freedom to visit where we'd like go and to eat what we love to eat. Such civil liberties have long been taken for granted, especially by this generation (not to mention the generation after mine!) of Singaporeans, as we have all grown up in a safe and sheltered environment.
Hence, while many of us know how painful it is to lose a job (if the company we work for closes down), and the stress accompanying the subsequent process of looking for a new one in order to sustain our lives; I seriously do NOT believe many Singaporean can even IMAGINE losing some of those simple civil liberties (as mentioned before) which will happen if the country goes into turmoil as a result of social/racial/religious unrest.

Sometimes, I wonder if many Singaporeans see themselves as direct "stakeholders" in this country. At least I know I often don't - which is a problem, because I should. Well, at least if I consider all those things that I currently have in my life as important, I should. Again, it's a question of having these things for so long that they're assumed to be "given" rights.

Actually, think about it - the average working adult in Singapore usually goes through a couple of job/career changes in his life, but how often does one change citizenship? Like it or not, we have to admit that besides those who are very privileged (ie. wealthy!) or very skilled/qualified, most of us are stuck with the country we are born in. Migrating is usually a very very difficult option to take, one which is filled with obstacles and involves big sacrifices. So doesn't it make sense for us to try our darn best to make our country a better place to live in?

Morning

2009-07-31T21:48:00.000+08:00

Every morning, EP and I go through the same routine before we can go to work.

630am. EP gets up to prepare the milk. She then wakes the beastie for his daily early-morning feed. The amount of fuss (and noise!) he makes at this point usually wakes me up. I wash up and change, while mummy continues her constant struggle against the raging beastie. Once I'm done changing, the icy stare from EP usually means I'd have to join in the battle, as she is fast losing out to the (by now) agitated and enraged little one. I grab a weapon of choice (usually an alarm clock, a remote control or any stuffed toy nearby) and jump into the thick of the struggle.

645am. Time is running out. Yet, the beastie refused to yield. He executes his power kicks and utters an unknown spell - his fingers aiming for the air-conditioning unit near the ceiling (well, sometimes he cast his spells at other objects too - like the fan, the lights, air-humidifier, etc.). We attempt to subdue him and break his spell-casting by activating an electronic gadget, which plays a loud jamming (and rather irritating, after hearing it for SOOO many times) music. It seemed to work, but only for a short while.

700am But now, we are both lying on the bed exhausted. We've only accomplished 2/3 of our mission. About 2 ounces of milk remained in the bottle, but we'd run out of time (and patience). The beastie, now fully awaken and looking stronger than ever, stands over us triumphantly and flashes his killer grin at us.
EP rolls her eyes and thrusts the bottle at me, saying "I don't care anymore. It's YOURS!". At the same time, the beastie also thrusts out his arms at me, saying,"eerrrr...errr...errrr.....". I usually give up feeding, and just give in to his demands (errrr...errr...errrr... usually means "I want to be carried!. NOOOWWW!"

710am The battle is finally over. Sometimes beastie finishes his milk, thought not without a fight. But most times, it ends with EP and I giving up and pouring away the unfinished milk. I pick up the little one and coax him to wear his shoes and carry his little haversack (nicknamed "Elmo" - because the Sesame Street character's face is imprinted on the bag face). After saying "mummy" & "bye bye", the little beastie happily trots off out of the house and my shouting after him.

730am We reach my In-law's place and he happily waves "papa" & "bye bye" to me, as he's being carried by my father-in-law.

After all that, I can finally begin my journey - to work.

ahhhhh......Blissful parenthood.

Time Traveller

2009-07-23T19:32:00.000+08:00

There are definitely times in one's life when you wished (possibly fervently!) that you could turn back the clock - in other words, travel back in time - to undo something that you'd regreted doing, or to do something which you hadn't done.

I was told (or I might have read it somewhere, I'm not sure) that reason why people have these kind of thoughts is because of one thing: discontentment. You'd always think that life could possibly be better had you done/not done something in the past. I mean, with the benefit of hindsight, who wouldn't make a better choice, or a better informed decision than he/she had before, right?

Hmmm... Sounds like a "logical" kind of reasoning, but really, it may not be so.

In the first place, any kind of "time travelling" idea aleady doesn't fall within the "logic" that we know of. The classic idea of a man travelling back in time and killing his's parents before he's born, resulting in himself being 'wiped off' the face of this Earth screams "illogical!" to any reasonable mind. Or better still, the scenario in which the fella travels 1 day back to time to warn "himself" (one 1 day younger version of himself) not to step on the banana skin, hence avoiding the certain injuries or misfortune.

There's one other rather convincing argument against the possibility of time travelling (in the future) - if it could really be done, why haven't we seen any time travellers from the future in today's "era"? Surely there MUST be some tell-tale signs of a person if he doesn't quite "belong" to our times... like he behave/talks differently, has gadgets that doesnt look like anything we'd recognise, or can "predict" things in advance (since he came from "the future", remember?), etc. In other words, he'd almost be like an ALIEN! =P
Well, some people might say," how do you know they havent already come and be in our midst, only that they'd really smart about covering it up and looking ordinary. Or maybe they've been abducted by the Government, and the truth is out there...". Well, I guess if you subscribe to this theory, then you're also probably a true believer of the aliens-on-earth (but everything is covered up, X-files style) theory ya?

I have another hypothesis.

If time travelling truly were to happen, then it could only occur via a parallel universe kind of scenario, ie. the time traveller would never be able to travel back in time in HIS own reality, and murder his parents thereby "undoing" his own existence. The "set of parents" whom he murders will never live to give birth to the baby obviously, but this is in another reality, and has nothing to do with the time traveller anymore. In other words, he is not he anymore..... Confusing? You bet!

But then, even this hypothesis cannot explain why we havent seen any time travellers in our world as yet. Maybe they really are just hidden from our sights. Maybe the truth IS out there.

Maybe.

23 years ago

2009-07-22T22:22:00.001+08:00

My Secondary school Form teacher recently posted a photo in Facebook. That photo was taken more than 20 years ago - 23 years, to be exact. It was a class photo, for the the Sec 1P class in Raffles Institution, back in the year 1986.
I remembered that photo for sure, although I do not know whether I still have a copy of it kept somewhere or could it have been lost during one of those house moving events, but given today's technology and the internet, that doesn't matter anymore - since I can simply download it and print it out easily.

I remember those days - well, not a whole lot of details to be sure, but certainly the key, memorable moments, as well as some of the strong feelings & emotions associated with certain events or venues in the school (located at Grange Road, in those days).

For instance, I will always remember standing at the stadium steps looking down at the group of boy scouts scuffling around busily (to fall into line), as they are being disciplined by their seniors. I remember feeling a little relieved that I'm not one of them (being scolded), but at the same time, feeling a little envious that they seemed like such a closely knitted group.

I remember the scary biology lab in the 3rd floor of one of the buildings, where we were told was haunted. And every time we had classes held in that lab, I would glance around the room nervously, looking for signs of the supernatural.

I remember an evening class activity in Sec 1, where we stayed back in school to play games. There was food and drinks, and we played dog-n-bone, tag, and other fun activities.

I remember contemplating if I could somehow sneak up to the restricted area :the RI clocktower, being ever-so intrigued with the horror (again - supernatural) stories associated with it. (Of course in the end, I didnt do so. Maybe if I had, I wouldn't be around to talk about it. muhahahah!)

I remember the delicious Muslim chicken rice store, which always had long queue. The rice and chili combination was awesome! And the chicken was fried to a golden brown state. Yummy!

Ah.... those were the days.

Thanks for the photo, Ms Miiko Tan! (Ops.. she's now Miiko Gibson)

Focus on the Family

2009-07-20T20:47:00.001+08:00

Dr James Dobson's segment on "Focus on the Family" is another section on Today papers which I seldom miss. He talks mainly about children issues and challenges faced by parents - those of young tots, to those of teenage kids. But sometimes he also dwells on relationship issues between husband and wife.

I find his articles pretty poignant and accurate, and sometimes even enlightening. For example, in today's papers, he talked about what keeps a marriage going, and he mentioned that for EVERY married couple, it is inevitable that the initial passion and accompanied feelings of love and adoration will fade with the passage of time, as well as with changes in one's life focus and priorities. This I kinda of knew and expected, for any adult would instantly know that fairy tale marriages (ie. everyday is lovey-dovey, and filled with love and passion) only exist in the movies, which also explains why some people love these romantic movies, since they can never find such occurences in reality. To be brutally honest, it's a form of indulging in escapism. But then, so am I when I watch those monster and sci-fantasy movies, where people can shoot lightning/laser out of their fingers, and fly or teleport across time & space. (yeah, I AM aware that those things cant really happen in real life. That's why I watch the movies, to get my kicks lah...)

Okie.. back to James Dobson's article... *ahem*

What surprised me a little was the fact that he also went further to say that there WILL be times when you feel less-than-concerned about your spouse, even to the point of irritation and total disregard. These strong feelings of (possible mutual) incaring-ness is "normal"?? Well, apparently so, according to the expert.
So what keeps a marriage from going kaput then? According to Dobson, it is down to the "will" - that is, the mindset that says "I'm commited to this marriage. I've made my vows, and I'll make it work".

This is something which I suppose many (especially younger) couples will not subscribe to, since it's much more tempting to choose the - I shalln't say "easier", but certainly the more "direct" path and then decide, "We both feel it isn't working, so let's end it and move on in search of a new beginning. Let's not be like the olden days, where people suffer and bear it. And for what?? Life is too short not to enjoy it to its fullest." Divorce no longer comes with the kind of negative social stigma as it used to anyway.
This line of thought can be appealing, I must agree.

** You know, come to think of it, It's almost like playing a computer role-playing-game and when your character loses a major fight (typically with a big, bad-ass monster), you choose to press the RESET button on your computer and reload from the last save point; rather than to take the downside (usually loss of experience points, or gold, or equipment, etc.) and come back again for another go at the monster.

Only thing is: Can you truly RESET your life? I mean, the emotional experience that one gains with each day's interaction with one's spouse (or to a broader extent, to one's family and friends) is hardly worthless. Every small bit (be them sweet, tender moments, or intense irritation and annoyance, or simple bo-chapness) adds to the wealth of memories which is irreplaceable and to me - invaluable. One day, when one reaches the end of one's life, these are the things that count, more than anything else.

So yes, call me old school! =)

Service in Singapore

2009-07-20T20:44:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if I can be considered as someone who has been in the service industry. You see, to most people, the "service industry" normally refers to the F&B, hotel, retail industrys in general. You'd think of jobs like front-end counter staff, sales staff, waiter/waitresses, etc. But in truth, the service industry would probably a more expansive range of jobs - in fact, any job which are customer-facing would probably fall into this category.

So, having worked as a customer service engineer, a financial planner then as a client trainer, I think I should probably "qualify" as someone with more than 10 years experience in the service industry. =P

An article in the forum of Today newpaper wrote about the personality traits required to do well in the service industry, which I found quite interesting. It mentioned that a lot of Singaporeans who have maids at home may find it difficult to reverse the mindset of "being served" to "serving others". I guess that's probably true. After all, if a person is so used to having some at his/her beck and call, they would not likely take it too well when the situation is reversed.

But I wonder - does good customer service mean that you always give in to the customer, even if what they are asking for is unreasonable? The old adage, "The customer is always right" certainly has its merits. Afterall, all businesses in the service industry rely on keeping their customers happy, in order for the business to thrive or even to survive. Still, my belief is that a good customer service does not always mean you have to agree with the customer, or to give in to whatever the customer asks for - regardless of whether the request is reasonable or not. I feel that sometimes, a service staff has to know his/her work boundaries well, so that he has the confidence to provide the customer with the appropriate response (and answers) when faced with a difficult situation (e.g. an unreasonable or even aggressive customer). In such instances, giving in to the unreasonable demands may not be the "best" solution as not only would it allow other customers to see and think,"hey, if that guy can get what he wants THAT way, then I can too!"; doing so would also undermine the role of the entire service line. Sometimes, being assertive (not aggressive) and putting the unreasonable customer(s) in their rightful place is the best thing to do, and it can actually raise the respect and opinions of the service industry if done properly.

But in order to do that, it largely depends on the service staff's mentality, and ultimately, his/her EQ. The ability to judge a situation well, and being able to control one's emotions and temper in a tough and possibly embarrassing situation is something that comes with experience, and also depends a lot on the personality of the staff, though it CAN be trained. Sadly, it's also true that many service personnel in Singapore lack this skill and hence the bad rep for the many service providers (and their staff) in general.

The scary woman

2009-07-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

I enjoy reading Ms Shenton's articles on My Paper. She normally talks about a variety of people-related topics - ranging from romantic relationship issues; colleagues' office politics; misunderstandings between friends and family, etc. Basically, the stuff she writes about are simple day-to-day matters, which one can relate to quite easily, and at the same time, the things that make life so interesting. (incidentally, she writes in Chinese, and I'd wanted to write this blog article in chinese too, but am just too lazy to, it being much quicker for me to type in English)

Her article today was about working with female co-workers/bosses. And she related a common "complaint" from her male friends that the worst kind of females to work with fall under 3 categories:

1) Extra aggressive & driven woman-powerhouse
2) Married woman
3) Old & Single woman

Note: Actually, for a while I was thinking, "doesn't that include almost ALL types of women?". Then I realised - no, the only ones left (out of the above 3 classifications) are the single, YOUNG females. Haha... I'm a guy, so it's easy for me to nod in understanding and appreciation.

Anyway, the reasons provided to "justify" the above 3 'undesirable' types of female co-workers are:
1) woman-powerhouse: this is self explanatory, since a super aggressive woman boss can virtually squash the male ego to a pulp, and then drive the men straight to hell with her unrelenting work demands and targets.

2) Married woman: the reason suggested by the guys (read: Ms Shenton's male friends) is that this category is "out-of-the-market". No chance, so not much interest.

3) Old & Single woman: (this one I have to agree) is typically emotional a little less-than-stable. Capable of weird antics and can sometimes be ultra-sensitive to every little remark that people make, so forget about joking around this one.
* Oh, btw - those guys who have been with the NUS guitar ensemble for a while will distinctly remember a classic example of a person who clearly falls under this category. No names please... if you know, then you know =P

Personally, I am comfortable working with the first 2 groups of women. I can respect a capable and driven (even aggressive) female, and would have little trouble working under this kind of boss. Married women? Actually I find them easier to talk to sometimes, since they tend to be more mature and are generally better listeners. Also, we can trade children stories! haha. But this 3rd group....

I guess we all know of co-workers (of both gender) who are distinctly difficult to work with and who are at times too unpredictably emotional to be around with. But given the general inclination of women to be more "in touch" with their feelings and emotions and what-have-you, I'd dare say that women will more likely fall into this group.

Scary....

Holiday

2009-07-11T08:51:00.001+08:00

It's been 2 years since EP and I took a trip (even a short one, like to Malaysia) out of Singapore. I mean, the reason is obvious ya? With a beastie who is turning 18th mths soon, you can imagine how tied up we have been for the last 2 years (including the couple of months before he was born).

Come to think about it, 2 years isn't exactly a long time, some people spends years huddled comfortably (and contentedly) in this sunny island, and not feel a tinge of regret, nor any eagerness to go out and experience more of the world. But that is not me. Understandably, with the economic crisis still very much in the picture, PLUS the H1N1 threat being very real at the same time, many people are choosing to stay put at home (read: own country) and to postpone any plans for long trips abroad. To me, that is perfectly logical and is reasoning that I'd subscribe to as well.

Still personally, I think nothing rejuvenates the body (and spirits) better than a relaxing short overseas trip with good friends and family. Just being able to turn off that mobile phone, get away from the internet (emails, facebook, blogs, etc.), and immerse oneself in a pleasant, relaxing (and very importantly - cool !) environment for a couple of days can make a huge difference to one in terms of mind and body.
That is the reason why I am a little wary of taking like a weeks' leave just staying at home, doing nothing more than watching videos, surf the internet, or shopping at the same old complexes that we are so used to. I'd imagine that after such a "vacation" at home, I might return to work even more weary than before!

Good thing the little beastie will turn 2 early next year. I'm looking forward to bringing him along for our next trip, which is likely to be a short one (we aren't as adventurous as some of my friends who'd lug their <1yr old babe to the US, or to Europe).... Let's see, maybe a cruise or a trip to Cameron highlands year end? =)

Inevitable

2009-07-09T20:31:00.000+08:00

Looking at how many letters have been sent (and printed) to the local newspapers and internet media, you'd be forgiven for thinking that the "giving up seats (in public transport) to the needy" issue is a grave national issue which warrants in-depth discussion and perhaps even parlimentary debate.

I mean, com'on! It's not the first time that we are talking about our nation's basic courtesy level, and the way it looks to me, Singaporeans respond best to what they can touch and feel - cold hard cash. Just look at our society: high-pressured, no failures tolerated, efficiency and speed is number 1, only accept Gold not Silver, everything-also-must-rank, etc... you get the idea. From young, all these "tunes" have sung and preached by our government and leaders to all citizens, so that we can BE THE BEST, BEAT THE REST and get ahead in life. And behind all that is the message - if you want a good life, you have to earn it to by working hard, fast and dilligently. And obviously, the good life cannot be achieved without earning good MONEY.

If anyone wants to argue against the fact that the Singapore leaders (and hence the society at large) equates MONEY = SUCCESS & GREATNESS, just look at how our government peg the salaries of the ministers to the top CEOs of private firms. I'm not sure if any other country does the same. But that's not the point.
The point preached to all Singaporeans is this - if you are an important person, a successful individual and want to have high regard in this particular country, you have to have a pay that speaks for itself.

This sad (but true) reality has molded a current crop of younger Singaporeans into a bunch of folks who are supremely: practical and efficient; pragmatic and analytic; determined and unrelenting; assertive and unabashed; eager and competitive, etc... the list goes on.
Taken in isolation, and in particular with relation to building a nation of winners (and not whiners), this highly competitive and eager spiritedness in the young Singaporeans' pschye is clearly desirable.

Yet, you can hardly expect such conditioning to be without its side effects. Thus, the ultimate KIASU culture is born. Nobody here wants to lose - in every sense of the word. Some examples are:

Loss of money: Hence the only way to hit at Singaporeans' (and to change mindset) is to hit their wallets. That works every time!

Loss of face: Why else would parents here seem so keen to compare their kids' exam results, school ranking, number of CCA, etc.. And vice versa, the kids would compare the car their dad drives, the house they live in, the handphone they use, etc..

Loss of opportunities: Just look at those bond-breakers. Give back to society? What "give back"? Enuff said.

Loss of time: Singaporean drivers make the F1 drivers look timid. Who got time to wait, right????

Anyway, so back to the issue on graciousness and giving up seats in the bus or MRT. I think we can forget about forming this culture, if we only appeal to the people out of the goodness in their hearts. I think Singaporeans (esp. the younger ones, who are more indoctrinated with this Must-Win mentality) are too stressed up and preoccuppied with "winning" that they'd see getting into bus/train and "earning" a seat as a daily competition in itself. In other words, winners get a seat and can enjoy the journey (and even catch a wink on the bus/train), while losers simply waste time/energy/face/etc. having to wait for the next tranport to come along.

That said, there are enough good-natured people in our midst who'd buck this trend and do what they deem is the right thing. Kudos to them, I say.

Myself? Well, I can honestly say I do try to be like this group of people most of the time. But on some days, when the hassle and stress of the day gets to me, I'd think: If only I earn more money (like the leaders of this country), then I wouldn't have to take the packed public transport, YET can preach to others how wonderful the public transport is. On those days, pardon me if I'm not as gracious as some people would've liked.

What I have learned from my son

2009-07-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

Being a father has changed me in many ways. One of the most obvious changes that I'd admit straight away, is that I try not to take a lot of things in life for granted.

Jing Kai's arrival made sure that I learned to treasure every moment, since time is something that truly never comes around.

The little one virtually took over our lives' schedule since his arrival in Jan last year. Besides the fact that our daily schedules are almost totally dictated by his needs (and fancy!!), much of what we do and behave are also transformed by this little creature, whom we sometimes refer to as "beastie". Ya - not a cuddly or cute name, but too bad, his parents are fans of science fiction thrillers, fantasy books, and horror flicks. And truth be told, JK is quite a destroyer, armed with sharp finger nails (which seem to grow ever so quickly), and rapidly developing teeth, which he is ever-so-willing to sink into whoever offered their shoulder, belly, arm or thigh for offering.

But the beastie has his quiet moments too. And it's in these moments, that he made me realised how much he has changed me. Last night, it happened again.

As usual, our normal routine of coming home (from my in-laws') was to flick the TV on (who can live without the google-box these days???) to catch the latest sporting action on offer - happens to be the Wimbledon Championships, which we loved to watch. With time so limiting and so many things to do, multi-tasking was the order of the day, and for EP it meant grabbing a book/magazine/papers whilst for me, it was either the laptop (to catch up on emails, blogs and Facebook) or the papers. So what would the little guy do? He simply storms around his domain picking up things that belonged where they were, and summarily relocating them to where they did not belong.
This seems to be the pattern of our average weekday evening life.

Then last night, while I was transfixed on my laptop screen, I noticed something was not really right. The little beastie was not kicking and throwing his toys (and our remote controls) around and he wasn't making a ruckus in the living room. Instead, a little face peered up at me in muted silence. The little beastie looked straight into my eyes and it appeared to me that he was asking, "Papa, why are you not spending more time with me?"
At that moment, I felt a strong sensation of guilt and so I immediately shut down my laptop and picked him up and gave him a tight hug. After that we had a good time trying to fit blocks of plastics (square, triangle, diamond shaped) into a box with the relevant holes.

I think sometimes we may be too carried away with the mundane things in our lives (like watching TV, logging in to the internet, etc..) and fail to treasure these little moments that truly matter to us. Particularly moments we share with people whom we love....
I guess in a way it's a little similar to the reminder I put down in my previous post -

Don't miss that opportunity as it may not come by again.

Catch that boat!

2009-06-29T21:21:00.000+08:00

Just last week, EP and I attended a friend's wedding, held at a hotel poolside. It was quite a lovely place, nicely decorated, good-looking setting, and a stage where the groom (and his friends) eventually performed a couple of songs, much to the delight of the evening's crowd.

We knew the groom back from the days in the NUS Guitar ensemble, where we used to be a member of (and where I still teach as a part-time tutor) and though I cant say we know him very well, we'd at least kept in contact (as we'd a group of common close friends, also from the club) and even travelled overseas more than once together. So it was nice to be invited and to see him ending his bachelor days for good. Also, it provided another opportunity for old friends to catch up and talk about our lives, our work, our kids, and what have you.

In our table of 11, there were 4 married persons (including EP and myself, and 2 other guys who did not attend the wedding occasion with their wives) whilst the remaining 7 were all single - and available. It struck me that the "single's group" were also the ones still very much active in the guitar club (possibly with the exception of one gal, but she still kept in regular contact with the rest as well). Most of them had graduated at least 3-5 years ago (which means they either hit their 30s, or are getting very close to ), have good careers and (in my opinion) are interesting and attractive people. Yet, none of them were attached - at least not to my knowledge.

It felt to me that there might be a link - between the fact that they have all remained so active in the guitar group, and the fact that they have not been able to get hitched. (haha, some of them may scowl at me after reading this blog, but hey, it's just my opinion, so too bad =P )
In a way, having a group of friends with common interest and whom you are comfortable with to turn to and occupy your time every weekend - be it over a guitar practice session, or an overnight mahjong game - seemed like the perfect substitute for going out on a date and spending time (and money! haha) with a romantic partner. Afterall, it's much easier to be with people you are so used to, week-in-week-out; furthermore, you can totally "be yourself", and not over-analysing over what you/your partner say, what you wear to go out, possible rejections, embarassments, uncomfortable and awkward moments - all of which are common worries and emotions associated with courtship/dating, especially in the early stages of the relationship.

I even have a suspicion that even if a romantic spark does occur within this group, they (ie. the individuals involved) would still find a way of extinguishing it, just to maintain status quo and not risk upsetting the nice equilibrium that has been established for so many years. Of course, that's just my speculation, and given the fact that the group is mainly made up of guys, the chances of that (read: any romantic relationship) occuring is pretty minimal. Still, that's how I felt the group dynamics has evolved into.

Don't get me wrong, this group of friends are amongst my closer group of pals - since I am a self-confessed classical guitar freak - and I have nothing but fonds feelings for them all. In the unfortunate scenario that this group of guitar enthuaists decide to leave (or even disband) the group -however unlikely it is for now- or stop playing guitar altogether, I would definitely for very disappointed and sad. So to me, in a way, having things stay status-quo is really not a bad thing.

However, clearly I wish for them to also "move on" with other life priorities, and that means not just in their work & career related aspirations. Normally, I wouldn't consider myself an "ultra-traditionalist" when it comes to family/social matters, but I still believe that in our Asian society context, building a family is an important part of our lives. And the first step in building your own family is to find that special "someone" to start the building process with.

By always taking the "safe" route and staying in one's comfort zone - e.g. keeping to the same group of friends in every weekend's activities - it diminishes one's chance of meeting that special "someone". And much as I'd love to witness some spark within this group of friends, I have to admit the probability of that ocurring seems remote, at least for now.
Given that each week, after the hassle and tassle and/or the mundane weariness of our weekday jobs, we'd only have so little time to rest and relax (weekends flashes by in an instant, don't you think? ), it is true that any attempt to participate in new activities - which inevitably leads to expanding one's social circle and contacts - must also inevitably lead to a greater or lesser extent in withdrawal from one's usual activities, and some people believe it will thereby result in an erosion of the friendships and bonds. Taken to its extreme ,the end results can be pretty devastating and sad (as proven by someone whom I once considered a "good friend", but who has since left our cohort without wanting to leave behind so much as a trace and a contact).

But it doesn't have to be that way, does it? Much actually depends on how one manages one's time, and I definitely believe that if you have passion for doing something, it will not matter if you 'transit' from being single to being attached, married or even becoming a parent.
The same can be said of friendships.

Conversely, by choosing not to take that important first step ( which often takes you out of your comfort zone) or simply by procrastinating for too long, you may just miss the boat and the golden opportunity to find that someone special.

You'd never know when the next opportunity in life will come along....

Remembering

2009-06-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

I was at China Square Central during lunchtime today, and had a small "discovery" there. I found that there is actually a congregation of toys/figurine shops at this shopping centre. You know, the sort that sells figurines from all sorts of areas - Star Wars, Final Fantasy, Gundam, Transformers, etc.. you name it.

It was certainly an interesting walk for me - definitely an advantage of lunching alone (all my colleagues had to work WAY past the normal lunchtime, and freezing as I was in the office, I had to get out before my fingers can't move anymore!) - and as I wandered along the shops, I found this particular one which sells OLD (some can even be considered antiques) toys. They actually had a few of those hand-held video games way back from my days in the 80's! Well, in truth they cant really be called hand-held, since they are fat, and rather bulky, and so they are normally seated on the table where one can just bang away at those primitive looking buttons (unlike the ones which came later, which were truly portable). One was a "Space Invaders" kind of shooting game, and the other one looked like "Donkey Kong" type. Seeing these game machines really bring back fond memories...

Another item that caught my eye was this coin deposit container, in the form of Mickey Mouse (one arm raised in a waving gesture). I used to own that exact coin container when I was a kiddo! (My brother had a Donald Duck one as well) I kind of recalled that I dropped it one day and it broke, causing quite a bit of tears and fuss for the next few days. Boy, that must've been like 30 years ago....

The thing is, memories from so long ago fade with time, and cameras in those days as nowhere as ubiquitous as they are today. My dad used to have this old, black-coloured camera, which I loved to play with as a kid. There was a rotating kind of dial on the top, which you had to wind up somehow, in order to prep the film for taking the shots. The camera felt heavy to hold, but it was exactly the weight (plus the sensation of pressing the firm snap button, which produces a solid "click" sound!) which made the device feel really solid and impressive - unlike some of the toy-like plasticky but supposedly high-tech cameras in this era.

Anyway, I'm really digressing too much.

What I was thinking of was that - back in those days since cameras were not so prevalent, we'd only have photos of really big, important events (like some big family outings, overaseas trips, etc.) to reminisce over. Beside thoses images, all we have are valuable memories, stored away in some part of our brains, waiting to be evoked by some special encounters or events in our lives.

The seemingly random walk I took (in China square Central) today just happened to be one those things.

How curiously wonderful!

A morale dilemma?

2009-06-22T20:27:00.003+08:00

Had an "encounter" earlier this morning, as I was making my way to the office for work. I was trudging along the rather crowded walkway near the Raffles Place MRT, my mind still a 'blank' - which is normally the case, as I've yet to fully wake-up yet, at this stage =P - when out of the blue, this ah pek stopped me in my tracks and asked me, "Do you speak English, Mister?".

I was a little taken aback. Firstly, as mentioned, I was not really in an alert state of mind early in the morning. Secondly, to be suddenly stopped in the middle of the path by a stranger is seldom a very welcoming feeling (well, unless that "stranger" happens to be an attractive looking lady, then perhaps.. hahaha). And lastly, he spoke pretty decent English! * this ah pek dressed like any other of those uncles who'd frequent the neighbourhood coffeeshops. Those you'd normally try Hokkien as a first attempt at any conversation*

After the momentary shock, I replied a tentative, "ya....."

And he said, "Can you give me some money for coffee or tea? I havent had breakfast...."

At that point, I did contemplate just reaching for my wallet, and fishing out a $2 note and hand it to him. Afterall, $2 isn't a lot to most of us, and should be sufficient for a simple breakfast of tea and eggs (maybe). But then, my "Singaporean" (cold, logical and most importantly, "just-follow-law") persona took over, and I thought, "this ah pek doesnt seem to have any sort of disability, handicap and certainly doesn't look ill. Furthermore, he's not asking for a bus fare home, which would seem a better reason to ask for help from strangers on the road. He's asking to be given money to be fed. Shouldn't his relatives be doing that? And isn't what he's doing tentamount to begging - which by the way, is an illegal act in Singapore."

Within those 2 split seconds, I retracted my hand and shook my head in a curt manner, before walking away briskly. I dared not look back.

As I continued walking, my mind was swimming with thoughts of, "why didnt' you just give him some money?"

But then, that would not be right either, since I'd be "encouraging" betting - in a way. Not to mention, it's not as if he's a disabled person or something, cos he sure looked pretty fit and healthy to me....

Hmm... should I or shouldn't I?

Of family and friends...

2009-05-30T10:32:00.002+08:00

Read 2 interest articles in 我报 papers recently. One was this lady writing about her family, and the other was a (presumably younger) woman writing about her friends.

The first article made me smile as I read it. The second one made me sigh and even felt a little sad. But both articles made me nod my head in agreement - "how true..", I thought as I read them.

About family

The woman wrote about how her 3 year old son made her nice-guy "Good cop" husband go mad with fury, while she, who is usually the "Bad cop" mum, had to for once, play the good cop. For those who are unfamilar with such parenting terms (or ploy, as some would say), this is simply the usual er... deployment of a parent as the discipline keeper (ie. the Bad cop), while the other parent naturally takes over the role of the comforter for the weeping baby (ie. the Good cop).

For friends who know me, it should be clear who's the Bad cop and who's the Good one. :P

Well, the article wrote that there would be occasions where her usually mild-tempered husband can get driven up the wall by the toddler, such that he scolds the kid with raise voice and when this happens, the poor tot would really frighten. Since when did the Good cop turn evil??? The tot's mum (writer) would then "transform" into the shoulder for the tot to cry on.
This type of scenarios happened once VERY occasionally, but it has happened before in my family too! haha.. that's was why I was nodding my head in appreciation, as I read the article - also because it was quite well written in a humorous way.

About friendships

The second article was written by this lady who recounted how her brother was feeling "betrayed" by his friends who had 'forgotten' to invite him to their wedding, even those he was their 媒人, just over a year ago. To make matters worse, the couple getting married had invited other common friends to their wedding, but had left him out.

The writer then spoke about her own experiences in "maintaining" friendships. She had been the one organising the annual gatherings for old classmates, but it had become increasingly difficult to organise these as people started working, got married, and basically got so busy with their own lives that they could not even find time to meet up with old friends.

A good point she mentioned was the "common interest". As each of us get on with our own hectic lives, there is only this little pockets of time that we can allocate to our friends and interests. For example, I love to play the classical guitar - so in my little free time, I teach the guitar in schools and I meet up regularly with my quartet buddies to rehearse and put up regular performances.
In this way, this small group of us friends- all of whom have graduated many years ago from the same university - constantly keep in touch with each others' lives.

But what about those once-close friends who did NOT share such common interests with us? As time goes by, and with everyone struggling to find time for themselves - outside of raising their own kids, and visiting their parents -, these "friends" will slowly but surely transform into mere "acquintances".

This reminds me of a blog entry I'd written some time ago (i think it must've been years back), about the effort it takes to maintain friendships.

Sigh...

Facebook is simply an electronic means of making us feel less guilty about not getting in touch with some of our friends. It creates an illusion that we still know (and care) what's going on in their lives... when sometimes, we simply don't anymore.

Learning on the job

2009-05-25T21:38:00.003+08:00

It's been just over a week since I've joined my new company, working as a technology consultant in a bank.

There's a "whole new world" of knowledge and stuff I need to learn and pick up, (obviously) as quickly as possible - so that I can become a useful part of the entire working team.

My first impressions of my new workplace is rather positive one. After years of NOT having my own desk to work on (you see, my previous job was onto this concept known as "hot-desking".... which many of us simply didnt like. It wasnt that "hot" after all), I now finally had a desk and a "space" to call my own. I can bring my own photos to decorate the place, bring my own mug to get my own drinks (without using those yucky plastic/disposable cups); and basically make the place feel more "friendly" and conducive for working in.

The general environment is not so unlike the TR (ORQ) office, where I've spent the last 3+ years in. Clean, rather new looking, bright, and generally spacious. The one main difference is my new workplace seems to be a much quieter office, compared to the ORQ one - well, to be fair, in ORQ, the CT team (ie. the noise-polluters = us ) has typically been the one contributing to most of the rah-rah in the office.

Hmm.. perhaps given some time, after I am more settled in, one of the things I will attempt is to "convert" some of these nice, quiet-loving people in my new workplace to become more noise-loving, huh? hhahahaaa..

Ops... must 保持形象! At least for now... =P

Rio Ferdinand and Frank Lampard

2009-05-14T15:44:00.002+08:00

Rob, who's one of the Business Managers in Thomson Reuters sent me this photo of him, with Rio & Frank! He is a West Ham fan, so I guess this photo must've been taken when these guys were still with the Hammers? :)

A new job

2009-05-13T23:56:00.002+08:00

As I am typing this, we moved into 14th May 2009.

My last day as a Thomson Reuters Client trainer.

Why am I typing this blog entry so late into the night (or so early in the morning, depending on how you want to see it)? It's becos I can't sleep....

Have been rolling on the bed for the past half hour, with the stupid breathing device attached to my nose I find myself gasping for breath every minute. Yeah, it's been 2 weeks since I've started using this device, which supposedly was to help people with sleep apnea cope with the lack of oxygen intake during deep sleep, so that the patient could achieve a better quality rest and feel more energised the following day. So far, results have been mixed, i must say. On some nights, i've managed to sleep without much of a problem, and true enough, I wake up feeling better (than usual) the next day! But other nights... well, I guess today's just of those "not-so-good" nights.

So I find myself blogging about my last day at TR...

Gosh.. didnt realised I'd miss my (current) job already. No - actually, I'd miss my current colleagues more than my job. They are the people who make my day at office interesting. All that bitching - about the job, the politics, the gossips - really makes my day. Sometimes, the day passes by so quickly, all I remember are the bits and pieces of our gossip topics, gathered through the lunch and CB (no, not what you're thinking! CB refers to "Coffee break" ) sessions.

天下无不散之宴席 - as they say, all good things must come to an end, at some time. That's why good memories are so treasured.

I am pretty excited about my new job though. While I'm confident I will stand up to the new job challenges and demands, I wish my new colleagues will be as helpful and nice as those in TR. And of course, I hope my new manager is a fair one. That's really all you can ask for in a leader - to be fair in his/her treatment of their subordinates.

Many people have expressed surprised that I'm changing job, with the economic crisis and all. First, they'd be surprised I'd managed to find a job (what's more - in the banking sector!), then secondly, they'd be surprised I WANT to change job in a time like this - in a sense, giving up a relatively secured job to venture into the unknown.

I dont know if this is a good thing for me or not. Only time will tell, I guess. But I do know that you gotta grab some opportunities when they come your way. At least I'd know that I've tried. I just don't want to feel any regrets later on, thinking of "what could've been".

Cheers to my new job!

And cheers to my great colleagues at TR for making the past 3 years such memorable ones. Thank you, my friends!~

Band of Brothers

2009-05-04T09:02:00.003+08:00

Recently, I did a revisit of the Band of Brothers mini-series (as I've acquired the Blu Ray version. Yay!) and was left feeling inspired, moved, glad and..sad - all over again.

It really is a great series, depicting a company of American soldiers (Easy Company from the 101st Airbourne Unit) as they try to survive the war (WWII) while fighting in Europe.

Usually by the time I reached the 7 or 8th part (out of the 10 part series), I would already feel rather "exhausted" by watching the heriocs and sacrifice of these men, as they labour to last the war to go home in 1 piece (literally!). Can't help but feel strong emotions and kinship for some of these guys, seeing how they fight not just for their own lives, but sometimes more for the lives of their "brothers". For us who are fortunate enough to live in a time of relative peace and not having known war (pray that we never have to!), one can only imagine what it must been like to not only run around the battlefield with bullets flying pass your body; not knowing if the next one is gonna hit you in the head or worse - other parts of your body (after all, if it hits your head, you wont know anything else, I'd assume!).

Even more than that - what it must have felt to see your comrades; your friends; your brothers fall by your side or get blown up to pieces, or to hold him dying in your arms with his blood (and yours) all over you....

I must say also, that the soundtrack of the show really adds a whole new dimension to the show, without which it wouldnt have been so successful.

The main theme is beautifully written, and creates a mood of rousing determination, tampered with the sense of melancholy and sadness. I recently heard a version that had lyrics to it, and I went on to the web to search for its title. It is called Requim for a soldier , sung by some opera singers.
Here are its lyrics:

"Requiem For A Soldier"

You never lived to see
What you gave to me
One shining dream of hope and love
Life and liberty

With a host of brave unknown soldiers
For your company, you will live forever
Here in our memory

In fields of sacrifice
Heroes paid the price
Young men who died for old men's wars
Gone to paradise

We are all one great band of brothers
And one day you'll see we can live together
When all the world is free

I wish you'd lived to see
All you gave to me
Your shining dream of hope and love
Life and liberty

We are all one great band of brothers
And one day you'll see - we can live together
When all the world is free
============================

What a great show...

The only "Constant" is "Change"

2009-04-22T11:38:00.003+08:00

What a year 2009 is turning out to be.

So far, the year has brought about changes affecting the most important aspects of my life. How so, you ask? Well, here are the changes I've made so far:

1) I have changed my home

We finally made the move from Bukit Batok to Alexandra, after months of wait - firstly for the tenancy agreement to end (end of Jan 09), then the renovations which was rather badly delayed due to the Chinese New year period.

Now we are finally able to enjoy a new environment, and more importantly, transporting boy boy to-n-from my in-laws place is signifcantly easier. Actually, HE is the main reason why we've moved... hehe

2) I have changed my car

Sold my Megane, and opted for a OPC (Avante) to better fit my current lifestyle.

Given that I'd normally use the car only in the evenings on weekdays, mainly to ferry boy boy back from my in-laws' to my house, the OPC's restriction on weekdays (can only drive w/o a day coupon between 7pm - 7am following day) doesn't really affect me. My only main grouse is the restriction imposed on Saturday... Didn't the government annouced that Saturday is officially a NON-working day??? Why then is there a restriction for OPC till 3pm on Saturday? Well, even if you consider Saturday as half-working day, shouldnt this restriction end at 1pm instead or 3pm?
Well, anyway, for the sake of the $17k rebate, I guess this little inconvenience has to be put up with :P

What I also love about the OPC is the savings - not just on monthly instalments, but also on road tax, insurance!

3) I am changing my job

After months of deliberating, I've finally decided that 3 years as a Trainer in my current company is enough. To put it bluntly - the glass ceiling has never been clearer than it is now.... There simply is nowhere else to move onto, beyond the role which I am taking on now. At least, not in the capacity of a trainer.

My kind supervisor offered to relook at the various possibilities (within and outside of the training dept) and tried her best to persuade me to stay. I am certainly thankful to her, and appreciate her kind gestures. (I must also admit, it feels nice to be treated as a "valuable asset" to the team here.) But after much thought, I think it is best for me to grab this opportunity to move on.

I need a new challenge!

So....

After making changes to 3 of the biggest (or at least, the most expensive!) things in my life, what's next?

Hmm... I remember earlier in the year, when some of my colleagues were discussing the Chinese Horoscope for each of the 生肖 this year. And guess what? The Feng shui master predicted a "year of changes" for the OX people this year (in the year of the OX). I recall one of the predictions SPECIFICALLY mention there would be a likelihood of changing: House, Car, Job and... Spouse!

OOPPPPS!

Haha.. fortunately, my wife has cleverly helped to unwind this predicament. She said, "That's correct. Your "老婆”is your beloved guitar what...". And she is right! Now, it's up to Robert Ruck to make that last prediction come true... =)

Where's the PASSION?

2009-03-14T21:51:00.002+08:00

It used to be that joining an extra-curriculum (or now I think they call it "Co-curriculum" ) group in school was mainly out of interest and passion for the activity undertaken. For instance, one joins an atheletic club if one loves running, or a certain track-n-field event. Or you may join a outdoor activity club if you love hanging out with pals or engaging in mainly outdoor sports & activities.

Or you may join a performing (intrumental or voice) music group if you love playing a particular intrument and are keen on performing for a listening audience.

Well, that was what I thought, and I'm pretty sure it was applicable in the years past. But not anymore, apparently...

From my experience at the SMU and NUS guitar clubs, it is clear that the undergrads nowadays just do not have the same kind of passion and commitment to their respective guitar clubs in the recent years.
The most obvious area this shows is in the disappointing attendance levels at the usual weekly rehearsals.

For GENUS, the Committee is often frustrated at members not showing up regularly, and frequent emails from the President berating errant members for not doing their part (whether it is directed at another Comm members who is absent more often that he ought to be, or at members in general for not turning up on time or regularly enough) pepper the group emails.

For Guitarissimo, matters are even worse as they struggle to even make 10 players for each rehearsal session. Reasons given are always the same - late classes, other club commitments (true or not, only they know) or work attachments. Even Comm members sometimes are missing in action themselves.

I recall one occasion recently where the administrator at SMU (who used to be a performing member in a music club during his uni days) commented to me that he also wondered why students nowadays just isn't as committed (to their ECA or CCA) as before. Has the passion for music dropped so much over the years, that students these days care for nothing but their studies and/or work?

To me, when someone tells me, "Sorry i cant make it for rehearsal this/next/following week(s), because I'm really busy with my project/studies, etc..", there's nothing much I could say to him/her but "Ya, ok, I understand." But do I really? Sure, studies are really important, but com'on, does that mean the other undergrads who attend DON'T need to studies like you do? Or it is because you are so much more hardworking than the rest?

Or could it possibly be, you just can't manage your time properly, such that even a 2hour per week commitment seems like asking a lot out of you.

Possible, I guess. But mostly like the SMU Administator is right - there just isn't the same kind of passion for music these days. Afterall, who can make a living out of playing music these days?

Not in Singapore at least...

宝宝病了

2009-02-25T11:28:00.002+08:00

靖凯宝宝最近伤风感冒，已经超过一个星期了。每当他咳嗽或是打喷嚏时，我们都会非常紧张。尤其是当他在和奶水的时候，因为他时常会把之前喝过的奶，或吃过的食物统统都吐出来！真是把我们急死了（同时也把忆萍给气死了！）。

希望宝宝早日完全的康复。老爸我也能在带小凯凯去游泳玩水！

Allies and Secret Friend

2009-01-29T17:29:00.000+08:00

After receiving an email from Michelle today about some feng shui lady (supposedly famous) making her 2009 predictions, I had an interesting chat with my colleagues on the chinese horoscope fortunes in this challenging year. Apparently, being an "Ox" means I will have lots of hardship and challenges in the Year of the Ox. 犯太岁 or something... Something about 1 lucky star and 6 (!!) bad stars... geez.

As if the financial/economic crisis we are facing isn't enuff.

The conversation soon evolved to this thing about a "trinity of friends" for each horoscope. Supposingly, each 生肖 has 2 other 生肖 as "Allies", and another as a "Secret Friend" (wonder what that means...). There's also an "Opposing" 生肖 - which I suppose means they will be your nemesis of sorts... haha

For those interested to find out more, go to this website:
http://fengshui-import.com/phorum/read.php?3,3

So we excited "compared" 生肖 of one another to find out who our supposed allies and oppositions are. It was really quite funny, the whole episode.

Anyway, as an Ox, my "Allies" are the Snake and the Rooster. And my "Secret Friend" is the Rat. Opposition comes in the form of the "Sheep" (which I gathered refers to the "Goat" in the common texts).

If only friends and enemies are THAT easy to define in real life. hehe. :P

与孩子同入眠

2009-01-22T16:34:00.003+08:00

近几个月来，一到晚上九点半左右，我都有同样的一个“任务”-那就是躺在床上陪着孩子入眠。

靖凯的“晚餐”总是在晚上九点正，而通常他需要我们夫妻俩不断地哄着他才肯把这一瓶奶水喝完。有时候这孩子也真是会耍脾气，一瓶210ml的奶水得分成四五次间断喂他才肯喝完。这可把我急性子的太太给气坏了！而偏偏喂孩子喝奶（或者是吃其他食物）又是一件急不来的事。有时候太过于勉强孩子，反而会事倍功半，还可能使到他作呕。记得有好几次孩子把刚喝进肚子里的奶水全部都吐在我们的床上，真是叫我们俩不知如何是好。

通常,如果一切顺顺利利的话,九点半左右喂奶的工作就能完成了.接下来就是轮到我守在孩子的身边,陪着他入眠. 靖凯刚刚过了一岁生日,以他现在的年纪,我们绝不敢掉以轻心,把他一个人留在床上,担心他会几个翻身然后不小心跌到床下! 其实这样的"意外"在过去的几个月也曾发生过了好几次. 当我们发现他已跌到床下时,看到他哭得那么惨,我的心也会疼得不得了! 所以这个"睡前守护者"的任务是多么的重要啊.

每晚看着他那可爱的脸庞,那昏昏欲睡的模样,和他那双眯眯着的眼睛,我总会禁不住会心一笑,默默地为孩子祈祷. 虽然我本身并不是基督教徒,也从没有认真地去什么观音庙啦,或佛堂之类的寺殿拜神求福,但我也会希望要是这世上真的有神灵在旁听着的话,他(们)会保佑我们的孩子,让他能健康,快乐的成长. 我想大概世上的父母都会有这样的希望吧?

能够这样每晚陪着孩子入眠,绝对是一种幸福!

天堂

2009-01-21T12:58:00.002+08:00

一首我非常喜欢的旧歌（也不算是老歌啦，不过大概也有超过十年了吧？).

-------------------------------------------------
歌名:天堂
附註:
語言:國語, 曲長:0m0s
作曲:鄭華娟, 編曲:
監製:, 填詞:鄭華娟

嘿! 親愛的　不是我不想留在你身旁
我以為天堂總是在遠方
嗨! 親愛的　坦白說我的過去
有幾分很像你　一樣在尋覓

＊只是日日夜夜　歲月過去　走盡千萬里
　我也曾嚮往　也曾徬徨　夢想的路上

哦! 日日夜夜輕輕嘆息　只想告訴你
沒有愛情的地方　沒有天堂＊

（口白）
年輕的日子裡　我走了好長好長的路
只為了想去找屬於我夢想中的天堂
如果真的有那樣的地方
我想應該是一雙渴望你的眼睛
一雙熱情等待你的臂膀　還有一盞溫暖的燈
那就是天堂
（Repeat 2次）

（口白）
沒有你的地方就沒有天堂

Chinese New Year

2009-01-17T22:31:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year (CNY) has traditionally been a busy but exciting period to look forward to - especially if you are a kid.

Which kid doesnt enjoy feasting on tonnes of bak-kua, chocolates, sweets, cakes, soft drinks, etc.. the list is endless. And of course, who can forget about the ang pows (red packets)!

I remember, as a kid, I used to keep my ang pows under my pillow and will "sleep" on them over the entire 15 days period of CNY. My parents also reminded us (me and my brother) not to open these red packets until the 15 day period was up. So as a result, we would mostly be guessing how much our "takings" will be, and rubbing our hands in anticipation of the toy(s)/goodies we could buy with the windfall.
(my family is not in the habit of gambling during the CNY, so there's no chance we'd squander our ang pow money. Of course, neither could we double it! :P )

As an adult, CNY poses some new challenges. Just ask most folks who - in the opinion of their aunties/uncles - are at the age deemed suitable for marriage or starting a family (ie. having babies). Or worse, folks who are deemed (by the same cohort of people mentioned earlier) PAST the age deemed suitable for marriage or startiing a family (ie babies!).

The AGE at which this normally start occuring really depends on a lot of factors. But 1 of the key factor is obviously your GENDER. For guys, this can start happening when you hit your big 30. For gals...well. Let's just say, it can start as early as 25 or so. Ironically when gals hit the 30 milestone, they get let-off during CNY. For obvious reasons.

Typical conversations during CNY gatherings may go like this:

Elder (auntie/uncle. mostly aunties, i think): So how?

PF (poor fella): huh?

Elder: Got gal/boy friend oredi or not?

PF: err.. no lah.

Elder: How come???? Hey, you are not that young anymore leh

PF: ya lah... hahahah (forced laughter)

Elder: You should look at your brother/sister/cousin/so-n-so's son/daughter. So young oredi got 2 kids. So happy! Why you wait so long? Aiyah... dont make all of us wait so long mah.

PF: ......

Sounds familiar? hahaha..

Well, if it's any comfort, even married couples don't get let off easy. The EXACT same conversation can still take place. Just replace the "gal/boy friend" with "baby" and the amazingly, the whole things still works!

This year, Ping and I have our "insurance"! hahah. In fact, we intend to enjoy all the new year foodie, while the elders fawn over the little one!

Cheers!

A walk on the 1st day of 2009

2009-01-04T09:43:00.006+08:00

We took Jing Kai out for a walk on Januaray 1st 2009 =)

Started the walk at the Alexandra Hort Park - which turned out to be quite scenic, actually - even though it was it was located next to some commercial buildings (i suspect those must've been the HP building or the BP one...)

Kai looking a little pensive in the park

He's getting warmed up now. "Daaaahhh!!" (don't ask me what it means though..)

A view of the Alexandra Arch bridge and the Tree top Walk

We headed towards the Henderson Waves

Halfway through the Tree top walk, we had to stop twice to feed the little guy as it was his milk time. It was quite a challenge for EP as there wasn't any place to sit down really, and she had to virtual squat/kneel beside his stroller to feed him. And my "job" was to provide distraction (so that he'd open his mouth to drink!). Talk about being naughty!

After the feeding was completed (well, sort of lah), we continued up the tree top walk and it was mostly upslope :P Finally, we reached the Henderson Waves.

EP trying to look relaxed... (but actually she's already short of breath at this point. haha)

The Henderson Waves looked even more impressive than the Alexandra Arch!

This is the last photo I took on the trip.

Why? Because after the Henderson waves, it was (more or less) all upslope again :(
But the worst was yet to come, as we found out.

The last section of walk before we could reach our destination (Harbour Front MRT/Vivo City) was this forest pathway called Marang Trail. As it turns out, the trail was just a series a steps and mudpaths heading downhill. And that meant we had to carry Kai (EP did that), and lift the stroller separately (yah, that would be my job). It turned out to be the most siong part of the whole walk :P

Fortunately, the "reward" was waiting for us at the end....

Ahhhhhhhhh... sweet air con (Harbour Front)....

All in all (including the time we stopped to feed Kai - roughly 15 minutes), we took slightly more than 1hr 30min.

*makes me wonder how fast Julia & family must've ran, since she convinced me that it was "really short", and that it took her like 40-45 minutes to complete this walk!

Wii Fit!

2008-12-15T22:07:00.002+08:00

Ee Ping recently bought the Nintendo Wii Fit, and since then (some 2 weeks back now)the 2 of us have started a regular exercise regime using the exercise/game(?) system.

Of course, 2 weeks is hardly time enough for me to comment on its effectiveness (or otherwise!), but I have to say - at least it gives us a reason to work our lazy bodies and bones! The maker or designer of the Nintendo Wii system obviously had us idle folks in mind when he/she designed the game consoles and its accompanying games. The games are designed in such a way as to make the players participate in much more ways than just twiddling some cute remote controls or joysticks.

With the Wii Fit exercise board, I am now doing sets of stepping exercise together the cute little Miis (cartoon figures who appear on your TV screen to exercise with you and to encourage you.... well, sort of. :P ), as well as doing my 13min+ "island laps" jogs around a scenic island resort. Sometimes, when I feel like it, I'd take it out on the silly-looking punching machine by smashing punches into its virtual face.

Wiiiiiii.... I feel....

......
....
...
..

Unfit :(

Terrorists... Are they even human?

2008-12-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

The recent terror attacks in Mumbai has been thoroughly reported here in Singapore, with the Straits Times and Today Newspaper running articles on it for consecutive days, hogging all the headlines. Not least because one of the casualties in this horrifying incident was a Singaporean.

To us sheltered and pampered Singaporeans, this piece of news was shocking, sad, but sobering at the same time. All these while, the many terror events unfolding in various parts of the world, though reported over the same news channels (ie. newspapers and TV, radio, internet), felt like events that was a little too far away to have any real impact on our lives. We sympathised with the victims but there just wasnt that "connection". It was almost like watching a well-crafted tragedy drama unfolding on your TV. You feel for the characters on screen, you can sometimes even shed tears because of the sense of injustice your feel for them. Yet, they remained merely "characters" who had no link to the reality you are living in - ie. in safe, sunny Singapore.

Well, not anymore.

The death of Ms Lo Hwei Yen caused such a stir amongst the citizenry of this little island, not merely because of the tragic-ness of her demise. The shockwaves are also a result of many us waking up to the sense of renewed awareness of the ugly truth - that terrorism is EVERYWHERE.

My personal thought at this point is: Are these so-called "terrorists" even human? They may seem human on the outside; they walk like us, talk like us, breath like us, feed like us... Yet, they do not share the most BASIC of social norms as us (ie. human beings in general), that is - the respect for another human's right to live.

Their way of life and their thinking is SO drastically different from the typical human being, that it seemed almost farcical that we consider them as human beings. Just because they look like human does not make them human.

Boy, if I were to make a Hollywood movie, I'd definitely spin a story along these lines.... That these terrorists are actually a form of virus, mutated from a strain long-believed extinct (or exterminated) centuries ago. Either that, or they are actually aliens sent from another dimension, disguised in the form of us humans, so that they could mingle amongst us, learn our weaknesses, with the single objective of wiping out the entire human population on Earth. :PP

Anyway, if you asked me, all us REAL human beings on Earth ought to band together and rid the planet of this scourge once and for all. We should stop thinking of them as "human beings".

Their acts have shown us that they are not.

A song I dedicate to my boy

2008-11-07T16:14:00.003+08:00

至少還有你 (林憶蓮)

我怕來不及我要抱著你
直到感覺你的皺紋有了歲月的痕跡
直到肯定你是真的直到失去力氣
為了你我願意

動也不能動也要看著你
直到感覺你的髮線有了白雪的痕跡
直到視線變得模糊直到不能呼吸
讓我們形影不離

如果全世界我也可以放棄
至少還有你值得我去珍惜
而你在這裡就是生命的奇蹟
也許全世界我也可以忘記
就是不願意失去你的消息
你掌心的痣我總記得在那裡

我怕來不及我要抱著你
直到感覺你的髮線有了白雪的痕跡
直到視線變得模糊直到不能呼吸
讓我們形影不離

我們好不容易我們身不由己
我怕時間太快不夠將你看仔細
我怕時間太慢日夜擔心失去你
恨不得一夜之間白頭永不分離

The Past and the Present

2008-10-13T16:49:00.005+08:00

I thought I looked pretty smart then. Wonder what happened over the next 30+ years... darn! ;P

Many folks have commented that Kai Kai looks more and more like his mum (and thus, less like me!). Perhaps it's better that way? *sob* haha!

Funeral

2008-10-05T13:04:00.002+08:00

My uncle passed away on Wednesday (ya, that was the recent Hari Raya holiday). It was a sudden attack of heart seizure while he was at home early in the morning.

When I got the call from my dad, the news took a while to sink in. Though I knew my uncle wasnt in the best of health (he had been hospitalised a couple of times in the last few years, mostly due to heart problems), it still came as a shock that a person barely into his 60s (i think he is exactly 60 this year) could pass on so abruptly.

Not that we've ever been very close, though i still fondly remember him for the candies and toys he used to buy us (that's me and my brother) when we were little and were staying at our Grandma's place most of the time. He had always been a jovial and easy-going fella. And food tasting had been his all-time love.
Or simply put - he just loved to eat. :)

While at his wake, I got to meet up with relatives whom I have not met in more than a year or 2. Even for my cousins, whom i spent much of my childhood life with, it has been what... 2 or 3 years? One of them now has a daughter who's already almost 2 years old and this is the first time I've seen the baby. So yeah.. it's been quite a while.

It feels sad to think that it takes a funeral to bring people who were once close, to take time from our individual busy lives/schedules just to meet up for a brief get-together. But that seems to be the way of life nowadays. (When i brought this up with a couple of my colleagues, they all concured with me that they too felt very much the same way).

Anyway, the wake and the funeral procession (the part where we followed the Singapore Casket vehicle carrying the coffin) almost brought tears to my eyes. Like I mentioned, i hadnt been especially close to this uncle of mine, but I guess it was just the entire atmosphere and there were lots of people weeping all round. My brother and I tried our best to comfort mum - who was visibly distraught and shaken throughout. Sigh...

Last thoughts on the matter?

Seeing all those elderly relatives and their sons & daughters (and for some grandsons and granddaughters) gathered at the wake and the crematorium, a realisation dawned on me then... For someone who does not have any children, who would be there to comfort them when they lose their spouse in old age? It would surely be a even sadder reality then - as the remaining person (whether husband or wife) would then truly be "alone". Distant relatives' presence alone would certainly seem scant comfort.

天伦之乐

2008-09-16T12:58:00.003+08:00

Read an article on 我报 yesterday. It was an article lifted from a blog - about this father (of a young boy, not sure exactly how old he is but from the picture he looked no more than 2 years old) "talking" to his boy, telling him not to be sad whether he and mummy leaves him for (at least) a month to go overseas.

Basically, it seems the boy's mum is going overseas for further studies, and the writer took a month's leave from work to follow her there to help her settle in the new place.

Thus, they left the young boy in the care of his grand-parents. The dad goes on to comfort his boy, telling him not to be scare, and not to cry when he misses his parents. He ended the article remarking how ironic it is for him to "reassure" his boy, when he himself is fighting back tears welling up in his eyes, even as he types this blog entry in the airport (probably waiting to board the flight).

As I read the article, I cant help but think of my little 凯凯. A barage of emotions rushed over me at that moment ( I was sitting in the bus, going back to my in-law's place to pick up my boy ), and suddenly I felt like crying too :P

If ever I have to leave my boy for any extended period of time (I cant even imagine leaving him for more than a day or two now...), I'm not sure how I can take it too.

gosh.. parenthood definitely changes a person.

I recall several years back, when I had this conversation with an old buddy - GT. Back then, I was newly married, and he just had his first kid. I remember well, how emotional he was at that time, relating stories of his fatherhood experience to me. He was so full of "fatherly-love" for his then-newborn daughter, and he even advised me to 'join the club' (read: go forth and reproduce) so as to experience the joy!

Hahha.. I really had a good laugh then. Not because I find the idea funny, but more because that was SO unlike him! (btw, he used to be a rather pointed and cynical fella, back in the school days of old..)

Now, several years down the road: I can finally say that I understand what he was feeling then. And I certainly agree with him.

Looking into those small bright eyes of my little one, I can very honestly say that nothing comes close to a parent's love for his/her child.

一家人

2008-09-10T12:08:00.002+08:00

Choices

2008-09-03T10:52:00.002+08:00

In life, there are many instances where one has to CHOOSE which path to take. Each decision - no matter how seemingly small (or important) that is made may ultiamtely determine the outcome and destiny of one's life, though sometimes in ways which one could never have imagined at that moment of choice.

Sounds cheem... :P Not really.

Choices are made everyday. In fact, looking at it from a "free will" point of view, choices are made every instance of our lives. We can DECIDE what we want to do with out bodies (or minds) from one moment to the next. For instance, I decided to flex my finger muscles and brain tissues at this very precise moment, to type this entry in my blog. That is a CHOICE i've made.

Small and minute, seemingly inconsequential decisions like this one don't seem to have any big impact on my life, you'd think? But wait....

IF, at this VERY moment, this blog site is inflicted by a deadly virus, which attacks my computer and fries my hard-disk, causing me to lose all my work files and emails. This could have serious implications on my job! If I then lose my job and my source of income, things could very quickly deteriorate in my life, ya?

Of course, such occurences are extrememly rare and unlikely, possibly belonging more to the realms of Hollywood movies (like "THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT" - incidentally, i think that is a great show! ).

Still, sometimes I can't help but think that I may be on the verge of a major crossroad in my life now. There are some changes in my life for certain - the impending move for one - and possibly too many issues to tackle causing a certain amount of anxiety and sense of uncertainty.

Only time will tell, I guess.

My guitar specs

2008-08-29T20:16:00.002+08:00

After 8+ long years of wait, my order of a Ruck guitar is finally close to becoming a reality!

You can only imagine the excitement with which I opened up the large brown envelope which stated that the letter was from a "Mr Robert Ruck" from the United States.

In it, Robert Ruck informed me that my guitar should be constructed in early 2009. Meanwhile, there are quite a number of options which I had to decide on, depending on my preferences and obviously - my budget!

If this had happened just 3 months back, I'd have gone for the "kill" - basically taking up all the added options, which would include:

1) Guitar case: Karura - prob cost about USD1,000
2) Guitar tuners: Rodgers, of course! - another USD1,000
3) Guitar top wood: Composite top (according to Bob, this is made up of 3 layers of cedar!) - USD3,000
4) Guitar finish: French Polish - USD500
5) Guitar side wood: Madagascar wood (supposedly gives a sweeter sound) - USD800
6) Guitar construction (ie. the guitar itself) - USD7,750

If you add all these all... it comes to a whopping.... USD14,050 !!

Of course I am aware that there is a certain "investment value" in such an instrument. If sold in the guitar dealer shops (mostly the US sites), this would probably cost upwards of USD25,000. But the thing is, I most likely would never sell this guitar (for as long as I play the classical guitar, that is!)

Fast forward to the present...

With the impending gargantuan amounts of money needed to fund our new home (renovations, furnishings.. etc, not to mention the scarily large mortgage loan we are going to be weighed down by), I have to face up to reality (sob..sob).

Still, there ARE some 'upgrades' which would have to be done, in order to make my long wait worth its while!

*gleefully rubbing hands *

Finally...

2008-08-29T08:49:00.002+08:00

吃屎

2008-08-27T11:36:00.000+08:00

老师问学生:人生自古谁无死...你接下一句!
学生答:人生自古谁无屎,有谁大便不用纸!
老师很生气.叫学生罚站.

隔年,老师又问回同样的问题...学生回答

他答:人生自古谁无屎,有谁大便不用纸.
若君不用卫生纸,除非你是用手指.

老师很生气, 又叫学生罚站!老师看见窗外下着雪,就遗憾的说:
天上下雪不下雨,雪到地上变成雨.雪变雨来多麻烦, 为何当初不下雨...

学生又回复老师:老师吃饭不吃屎,饭到肚里变成屎.
饭变屎来多麻烦,为何当初不吃屎...

The Olympics are over

2008-08-25T21:05:00.002+08:00

After 16 days of exciting sporting competitions, the 2008 Beijing Olympics are finally over.

I had upgraded my Starhub setup box to the HD box, and yeah! - the HD5 channel was really bright and colours were so vibrant! Made me very gian to go and get a Blue Ray player (or the PS3) and start watching some Hi-Def stuff... *rub hands in eager anticipation*

(Sigh... but with our impending moving house and renovation costs hanging in the air, I hesitate to spend on such luxuries leh.. )

Anyway, things I'll remember about this Olympics (other than the beautiful Hi-def pictures):

1) Singapore got our long-awaited medal after 48 years (well done! Feng Tian Wei, Li Jia Wei and Wang Yue Gu, of the women's table tennis team)

2) Michael Phelps' 8 Olympic gold medals is simply awe-inspiring and should serve as great motivation and inspiration for young swimmers world-wide. (NIKE's motto comes to mind: Impossible is Nothing)

3) Usain Bolt's record breaking 100m, 200m and 4x100m relay sprints. Is this guy even human?? yeah... maybe he "ain't no man"...hohoho

4) Guo Jing Jing's beautiful diving and ice-cool winning style. (need i say more..?)

5) Nastia Liukin's beautiful gymnastics and her moves on the uneven bars and beam. This impressive and graceful American young gymnast is just so unlike the tiny and puny little wonder "kids" representing China ( though i must say, these "kids" are good at what they do!)

6) Liu Xiang's missing out on giving the Chinese (or in fact, Asians) a representative for the Gold medals in the track events. Such a disappointment (more so for the Chinese people..) he couldnt compete due to his injuries...

Anyway, now that the Olympics are over - it's time to get back to the BPL!

Go Man U!

Considering my options

2008-07-29T13:07:00.002+08:00

Recently, I have been thinking about my career and where it is heading.

Having reached an age where I am obviously no longer considered "young" (of course, this is relative), I am having to consider what I would want to be doing for the rest of my working life. With the current practice of job-hopping (with the associated pay jump each time! )so prevalent, especially amongst the younger entrants to the working society here, it does seems that those who remain at a particular company for any extended period of time - this could range from anything more than 2 years, it appears - are being foolish by simply not making the best of the available opportunities out there.

Take for instance ,this "case study". This guys switches jobs every other year (ie. not staying in the same company for more than 1-2 years each time), and every time he does so, he asks for a 10-15% increment in his basic salary. Thus, with a short span of 5 years, he could possible have switched to 3 different companies, and his pay would have increased by more than 50%, excluding the increments he gets WITHIN each company during that period.
(With the annual increments thrown in, he could be looking at a 60-70% increase from his starting pay 5 years back.)

Another guy who stays on with the same company over the same 5 year period who have to get an average annual increment of 9% (!!!!!) on EACH year to match that 50% increase.

Tell me a company that gives 9% increment on a regular basis, and I'll be the first to jump ship. Honestly, that is quite unlikely (or impossible), unless you happen to belong to a group of privileged aliens whose job titles sound something like C-"something"-O.

Salary aside, let's consider if there're other reasons for one to be "loyal" to his/her company....

There scarcely seemed any these days. Like it or not, any profit-based organisation out there is as likely to retrench a long-time employee who's reached a...ahem.. shall we say, less-than-young age group, as compared to a younger newly joined member of the company. In fact, in many cases of restructuring, it seemed that those who have been with the company for more than 10 years are MORE at risk, possibly because these middle management folks are drawing much higher salaries compared to their younger counterparts. Com'on - employers are not stupid. If they're gonna cut costs, might as well hit where it matters right?

So much for the so-called "loyalty" to the company then. Apparently, this virtue in the good-o-days are worth even less than the metal they use to manufacture the plaques for long service awards (hey, metals prices has risen sharply these days okie..)

In many cases that I know of, it is NOT the monetary value, but instead the HUMAN element which serves as an influencing factor on whether the employee choses to jump ship or not. The human factor includes such things as:

1) company culture wrt the working relationships and politics in the office
2) sense of belonging and acceptance amongst colleagues
3) family-friendly company guidelines

Coming back to my personal situation, this is precisely what I am weighing these days - whether it is worth giving up a job at a workplace where I am comfortable at, with nice colleagues and an understanding manager, and which allows me time to spend with my family (esp. my little baby Kai kai); in order to take a plunge into the unknown, in search for possibly better renumeration and (almost definitely) better career prospects. The downside being, the new job may require longer hours and involve overseas travel, all of which would serve to deprive me of precious time I could have spend watching my son grow each day...

Gosh.. it's a tough call..

理想与现实

2008-07-23T15:49:00.004+08:00

Having read a blog entry by LS, I have some thoughts I need to get off my chest.

I think making music for enjoyment is very very different from doing a job (in the music industry). It used to sound like an ideal job, playing an instrument of choice (in my case, the guitar of course) and getting paid for it. 何乐而不为？

But in reality, things may not be so rosy (and simple). The fact is – unless you run your own music business (ie. You are your own boss) – you are being paid by somebody to a job = you are an employee. Your employer (be it a person or a organization) would expect you to fulfill certain KPIs; that is what they are paying you for in the first place. Miss or fail to achieve those KPIs? Out you go…

I’ll give an example, something which I witnessed firsthand…

GENUS used to have a passionate, devoted conductor, who incidentally is also the founder of the group. He’d spend hours and hours formulating plans for the next Genus concert, thinking of ways to make the performance successful. He’d arrange scores for the orchestra and for the small groups. He’d come up with money from his own pocket to fund the group for props needed for some of the more ‘exotic’ encore items. For years, he’d pay for the scores which the orchestra used in concert performances. Sure, he was paid an allowance ( I wouldn’t even call it a salary, since this is obviously a part-time thingie, and the amount is really not a whole lot), but basically he went way beyond what he was paid to do.
All these he did out of love of the group that he’d set up years ago, and the passion he had for the classical guitar.

After years of dedicated work, and for all his contribution and passion in the guitar music, he was shown the door. He was deemed to be not what the management wanted for a conductor. In other words, he couldn’t meet the KPIs, in their opinion.

In came a new highly qualified conductor (after a slew of mistake made by the management… but let’s not go into that), who on paper have what it takes to bring the club to a “higher level” and meet all the new KPIs set out by the management (which functions like a true corporate machine these day, linking group performances to gauge ROI and all). Being the professional and accomplished musician that he is, he makes sure that GENUS performs up to certain standards. Yet, one simply cannot expect him to do anything beyond his written agreement (contract) with the CFA management. He is paid to conduct GENUS, and to lead the group musically – period.

Compose a song for GENUS? Arrange some new stuff for GENUS? Forget it - 门儿都没！

What about my position, as a paid tutor for the group? To be brutally honest, I have completely given up doing any arranging for GENUS. For one thing, the management doesn’t give a damn. Worse still, who knows if they’ll later turn around and say that the music played by the group is sub-standard due partly to the arrangement quality!
Then, looking at how little the undergraduates themselves value our contribution (hell, we don’t even get a group T-shirt these days) to the group, I have decided that to put in any extra effort is a complete waste of time and effort. We don’t even get enough members to form a decent section for our weekly rehearsals these days!

我心想：算了吧！ I am paid to teach technique (and conduct Sectional trainings) to the GENUS members (at least to those who bother to turn up) so that’s what I’d do. Whatever else I do is not necessarily appreciated by them anyway…

Some days, I face this internal 'struggle' trying to reconcile my role as a tutor (paid to do a job) and as an Alumni member of GENUS. I keep telling myself "heck lah..just do what you're paid to do. Dont be a fool and do something that is really 吃力不讨好". But as a long-time Alumni of the group, I'd really hate to see the group going downhill and eventually breaking-up completely. It's like having split personality! hahaha..

Anyway, just as LS has decided to put in his time and energy into improving Expose, I am channeling my time (and hope) into Guitaresque. We are not paid to run these group, but it is something we are passionate about, and that keeps us going.

So when LS says he envy his friend who left his teaching job to do music – as a job; I think: don't be too envious. Wait till those KPIs (set by the employers) kick-in… they are the sure poison that’d slowly (but surely) drain away the passion till there is none left.

Pro-family Singapore? Hardly...

2008-07-18T17:07:00.002+08:00

A recent letter writer to the Today papers spoke about having 1 month of paternity leave for Singaporean fathers.

I cannot agree more with this...

Being a new father (kai is coming to 6 months!!) myself, I really appreciate every moment that I spend with my son. Furthermore, my wife really struggles to take care of him whenever I am not around (either on weekday evenings or on weekends, when I am away for my guitar/cello classes). Having 2 adults around to "tackle" a baby is probably just about right - at any one time, at least one of us can spare some minutes to do our own chores while the other is on 'standby' mode to cater to his needs. Believe me - he needs almost constant attention now, since he is now starting to learn to crawl. :)

The unfortunate thing (i guess for many Singaporean fathers alike) is that our Government seem to think that the role of fathers is simply to bring home the bread, by working our ass off. While the mother is given 12 weeks of maternity leave (of course, that is VERY necessary, given that they have to go through the painful process of labour), the father is given a meagre 2 (or if lucky, then 3 - depending on your company policy) days...

For me, with a mere 15 days annual leave (that really sucks!!) I really cannot afford to take days off on a whim - if only just to spend some quality bonding time with my son. I need to "reserve" these precious days of leave for cases of emergency. With a 6 month old baby, you'd never know...

With the Government actively promoting couples to have more babies; family bonding, quality work-life balance, etc... it is truly ironical that we have so little support in terms of something as important as this. It's clear to many of us that our Government still puts more focus on economic progress and a person's "value" to the country's growth is measured PURELY by how much he contributes to the GDP (or maybe even the income tax that he pays :P ). That is why they are so hesitant to implement these truly pro-family measures, fearing the expected backlash from unhappy employers representing the large multinational corporations with businesses here.

That said, even for the Civic service (ie. where the government IS the employer) the paternity benefits arent any better.

At the end of the day, if the Singapore Government wants to put SOOOO much emphasis on economic growth, thus neglecting the negative impact on the Singaporean family unit, then they must be prepared to face a sustained low replacement rate as most couples would hesitate to have more than 1 or 2 children (if at all). Those parents who value quality family time and a good work-life balance will look elsewhere for this, as evident from the number of families who choose to migrate to other developed countries such as Australia, Canada or the States.

It's a sad reality we're facing in this country.

What a coincidence!

2008-07-15T13:53:00.002+08:00

A photo of Kai and Matthias, taken when we visited Botanic Gardens some weeks back. Just happened that they were wearing the same t-shirt! hahah..

喜怒哀乐

2008-07-15T13:35:00.002+08:00

Nowadays, I often find myself wondering about this:

Why is Kai Kai able to cry and laugh at the same time???
(for that matter, babies are the only human beings able to do this strange 'trick')

It seems unthinkable that a person can be both happy and unhappy (or sad, angry, or any other emotions that runs opposite to the feeling of joy). But that's why Kai seems to be doing ever so often these days.

He can be happily playing on my lap in one minute, then in the next, he'd screw up his little face and start wailing.. about... something (?!!??! ya, most of the time, I'd have no idea what it is he's buay song about). Then, miraculously, my wife walks over and makes a funny face/sound at him, and he immediately responses with a bout of laughter (more like giggle). This lasts for about 3 seconds, before his face reverts back to the crying mode.

I find that really amazing.... how his emotions can flip like an on/off switch almost at will. Why cant us adults do that, I wonder?
For instance, when I'm feeling shitty and frustrated about something, it takes a long time for me to calm myself down, and regain my composure. It takes even longer to move myself to becoming "happy" again. I have always thought that is a result of lack (emotional) training - something which is related to a person's EQ.
(hahaha.. for the record, my wife is even worse at this compared to me! )

Maybe babies got very high EQ.

望尘莫及

2008-07-04T12:31:00.002+08:00

有些人的耍赖功夫实在了得,装傻的本事当然也不在话下.

让我们这些凡人都望尘莫及啊...

人有悲欢离合,月有阴晴圆缺

2008-07-01T12:04:00.003+08:00

每当身旁的好友或者同事因为某种原因而离开,我总是有种难受的失落感. 好象自己的生活也因为他的离去而改变了不少. 而这种改变绝对不是种好的改变. 这是一种无奈的改变 - 象是生命里突然也少了一点色彩,一点欢笑.

现实就是那么的残酷.

但愿人长久,千里共蝉娟!

Keeping the dream alive

2008-06-20T15:22:00.002+08:00

My dear baby kai kai is 5 months old today!

It really does seem like yesterday that ping and I were planning on how we would set up a room for our baby, what name we should give him, how are we going to tackle the day-to-day affairs after his "arrival" (even seemingly mundane stuff like getting to work in the morning, coming back home after work, going out in the weekends,etc. seemed to require so much planning ahead!).

Now, in the flash of an eye (it seems like that to me, at least), he's been with us for 5 months. Somehow (and I have always told people around me this) TIME seem to fly by at an accelerating pace as we age.
My theory is the human brain undergoes some form of biological deterioration as we get older, such that less and less details are being stored and remembered. For instance, when we were in Primary school, we seemed to be able to remember so many small and insignificant details (including our friends' phone numbers!! oh my god..) and somehow the passage of time is extremely slow and easy.
Presently, I cant even remember what I did 2 days ago! Geezzz

Anyway, I am glad to say that some things don't ever change, even as time seemingly erode certain memories.

I recall my first encounter with the classical guitar when I was in Secondary 1, joining the RI guitar club and performing Besame Mucho on stage (I was playing guitar 1! heehe..) I also remembered begging my parents to buy me a guitar, which they kindly agreed to. It was a Yamaha 110, which cost about $150 then - by no means a small sum 20 years ago. Of course they were a little disappointed that I "ditched" the piano- which my mum loves - for the guitar, but they were generally supportive. (Thanks load, mum & dad!)

Since then, it was a love affair that carried on till this day. (yes, I kind of got distracted and neglected my guitar during those army days... was busy reading comics and sleeping during my off days) Much of my passion for guitar stemmed from my years in NUS, where I happened to join the varsity guitar club - GENUS. There, I found like-minded people who were destined to become my buddies in music-making in the years that followed. Also, I'd never forget the first time I had to play a Bach Concerto (it was on the Niibori Bass guitar) in the ensemble. The 5-sharps score nearly freaked me out...

I also vividly remember how our conductor and mentor, Mr Alex Abisheganaden, educated us on the history of the classical guitar and its ups-and-downs. How he literally skipped and danced on the stage (back then, we performed in the Victoria Concert Hall) when we reached the finale/encore piece in our annual concerts.
He was the heartbeat of GENUS back then, and (sad to say) I doubt there will ever be someone in Singapore, who's as committed and passionate about GENUS (and classical guitar) as he was.

Of course, years have passed since Mr Alex led Genus to the performance stage at VCH/UCC. Batches (or even a generation!) of NUS undergraduates passed through the doors of GENUS. Many guitar players came into the club and left after they graduated - leaving nothing more than a name or photograph in the printed concert programme booklets to record their passage.
But there were also some who managed to find that extra spark which either kept their interest in guitar alive, or re-kindled their hopes and dreams of performing on a grand concert stage with a bunch of their fellow music buddies.

I hope that dream continues - currently in the form of
Expose in GENUS; and Guitaresque for me and a couple others - for a long time to come.

Who knows, in years to come, Kai Kai may fall in love with the guitar as his daddy once did, and carry on the dream to the next generation.

A day in the life of Kai Kai

2008-06-09T13:08:00.003+08:00

"my Papa tells me I am a good boy whenever i finish my milk"

"hah! chicken feat! I am a happy baby!"

"But then ah mah tells me i have to drink from bottle..."

"that got me worried..."

"i know now i have to work extra hard!"

"but... Nothing beats Mummy!"

The kiasu Singaporean parent

2008-06-05T13:40:00.002+08:00

Only someone who is a parent can understand the kind of stress and worry that one goes through for the sake of his/her child.

Parents worry about everything, from the point the child is born.

No - in fact, they usually start worrying even BEFORE the child is born! From the: "What kind of name shall we give him, must sound good and have good meaning" and "I hope the baby is healthy..." to the "I'm afraid he will be naughty when he grows up"; "What if he cant cope with the stressful education system in Singapore next time?", etc.. the list continues...

I know these thoughts did go through my mind (at various points throughout my wife's 9 months pregnancy period), and some worries continue to bug me now that Kai is 4+month old.

Recently, there's been quite a lot of debate - both on the papers, as well as over the web - on the sort of school/education system (here in Singapore) that we are currently putting our young through. Many parents feel that the schools are "teaching" too much, and that "more is less". Some feel that the schools (or more precisely - the schools' management) are so caught up in the rat-race (to be the top X% in exam results) that they 'sacrifice' not just the well-being of their teaching staff, but also that of the children as well. By having tonnes and tonnes of extra classes (many conducted over the supposedly "holiday" period) and homework for the pupils, unneccesary stress is loaded onto the shoulders on both the teachers and the pupils.

Then comes the related debate on whether or not having private tuition for the children is a "good thing". While many parents gripe about the schools not living up to their purpose of being the "primary" education source, the ironic truth is that these same parents are usually the ones who'd rush to send their kids to tuition centres or to hire a private tutor for their kids. "We have no choice! it's that or risk my kid losing out to his peers in schools, who all have tuition." Again, they point the finger at the schools for "setting too difficult exams in exams", "trying to teach too much within too short a time frame", etc.

And they may have grounds for these criticisms, in truth. Yet, more than likely, this is a "chicken & egg" issue.

If only the majority of the parents stood together and CHOOSE not to send their kids for private tuition, then the schools would have little choice but to cater to the learning curve of the majority of its students. After all, it wouldnt reflect well on the school's management to have a 80% failure rate in exams, would it?

Unfortunately, being true-blue kiasu Singaporean parents, it is more likely that the trend of private tuition will continue, since "failure in exams" is utterly and completely unacceptable in our result-oriented society.

As for those parents who are garang (not because they cannot afford to, but rather they choose not to ) enough to go against the "tuition trend", I salute you. Hopefully your kids will not one day ask you "Why do I always fall behind my classmates in grades? Am I not smart enough, or are you not providing me with all the help that i need?"