Friday, October 20, 2006

How much is that friendship worth?

OG is right - on more than 1 thing..

First, he mentioned, sometime back, that i'm getting more sentimental and reflective as i get older.

I have to agree on that. As time passes, priorities change. That is to be expected, obviously. Nobody stays the same.

But one thing seems to bug me more and more these days. I seem to be more affected by friendships gained and lost, and sometimes I find myself "grieving" over a relationship gone sour, or more often simply just 'diluted' with the passage of time.

Well, maybe "grieve" is too strong a word to use, i suppose. But it definitely saddens me much more than it used to. I mean, back in our good'o schooling days, friendships were taken as a matter-of-fact thingie. Basically, relationships were much simpler then, as everyone around you is a "friend". Of course, there were those whom you were closer to, but that's basically it.

At work, it's much more complicated. There are co-worker relationships (colleagues), client relationships, and relationships with your superiors (managers, bosses, etc.). Not everyone can be consider a "friend" anymore.

In short, relationships are plentiful - new ones are built up everyday, and old ones get trashed like spam mails that we deleted without a second thought. But friendships? These just don't come as easily, do they? These takes time to develop and to grow.

So when a friendship fades and eventually disappears, it is... sad.

I mentioned earlier that OG is right on something else as well...

He said (and i recently heard the exact sentiments echoed by another friend of mine) that friendship requires EFFORT from the parties involved, in order to 'survive' the test of time. And more effort is required if you wish to nurture and grow the friendship.

Some people obviously don't get this.

Or maybe they do. But they feel that the friendship in question is simply not worth the effort to grow, or even just to keep alive. Maybe they'd rather focus their efforts to forging new relationships rather than to keep the old ones. Or perhaps they are so busy opening up new opportunities in so many fronts that they just do not have the time (nor will) to hold on to existing relationships anymore.

I personally believe in the old cliched view that friendship is like wine. The older it gets, the better. But remember - care (read: EFFORT) must be taken along the way to ensure the wine is given the right conditions to mature and age.

You just can't leave them out in the sun to dry...


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