Again, the same old debate
Just a couple of days ago, over a coffee-break with 2 colleagues -Stan & Vivian, the topic of 'purely platonic' relationship between guy and gal was brought up.
The issue of contention was not whether such a relationship could exist between a guy and gal, but whether a they could be so-called "best friends" and yet refrain from developing some kind of romantic interest with each other over time.
In my opinion, purely platonic relationships do exist, but are limited to casual friends, acquiantances, colleagues. Well, possibly "good" friends of the opposite sex can also be fall under the category. But then the debatable point would be: How "good" or "close" is considered close enough?
Well, for one thing, if this friend is so close to you that whenever you feel down and depressed, he/she would be the 1st person you would want to call/meet to pour out your innermost frustrations and emotions - that would certainly qualify. Similarly, when there's good news or feelings or elation, this person is the 1st (or amongst) person you'd want to share the joy with.
Now, I personally cannot imagine having such an intimate friend (of the opposite sex. Blood relatives excluded, of course! So we are not talking about dads/mums/brothers/sisters here) who knows you so well, and shares so many things with you, and yet - over a prolonged period of time, no other kinds of "feelings" develop, other than the purely platonic friendship types.
For 2 single persons (guy & gal) in such a relationship, over time, either they become closer, and eventually become an item (read: romantically-linked couple) OR they will drift apart. The the latter case, most likely it could be because one (or both) of them becomes attached/married, and the continued "closeness" between them is no longer tenable. Either way, the 'purely platonic' relationship between these 2 close friends will surely "mutate" over time and will be gone or replace by something else.
Back to my colleagues - both Stan and Vivian insist that they (each) have truly close friends of the opposite gender, and that the relationships are purely platonic. I find that very interesting. (Incidentally, both of them are single, though Viv is attached)
Maybe they belong to the new "generation" with new thinking. (both are in their 20s)
Ok, call me old-fashioned. :)
The issue of contention was not whether such a relationship could exist between a guy and gal, but whether a they could be so-called "best friends" and yet refrain from developing some kind of romantic interest with each other over time.
In my opinion, purely platonic relationships do exist, but are limited to casual friends, acquiantances, colleagues. Well, possibly "good" friends of the opposite sex can also be fall under the category. But then the debatable point would be: How "good" or "close" is considered close enough?
Well, for one thing, if this friend is so close to you that whenever you feel down and depressed, he/she would be the 1st person you would want to call/meet to pour out your innermost frustrations and emotions - that would certainly qualify. Similarly, when there's good news or feelings or elation, this person is the 1st (or amongst) person you'd want to share the joy with.
Now, I personally cannot imagine having such an intimate friend (of the opposite sex. Blood relatives excluded, of course! So we are not talking about dads/mums/brothers/sisters here) who knows you so well, and shares so many things with you, and yet - over a prolonged period of time, no other kinds of "feelings" develop, other than the purely platonic friendship types.
For 2 single persons (guy & gal) in such a relationship, over time, either they become closer, and eventually become an item (read: romantically-linked couple) OR they will drift apart. The the latter case, most likely it could be because one (or both) of them becomes attached/married, and the continued "closeness" between them is no longer tenable. Either way, the 'purely platonic' relationship between these 2 close friends will surely "mutate" over time and will be gone or replace by something else.
Back to my colleagues - both Stan and Vivian insist that they (each) have truly close friends of the opposite gender, and that the relationships are purely platonic. I find that very interesting. (Incidentally, both of them are single, though Viv is attached)
Maybe they belong to the new "generation" with new thinking. (both are in their 20s)
Ok, call me old-fashioned. :)
posted by 北海道的大黑熊 at 11:11 AM
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