Monday, September 14, 2009

Life's priorities

It is true that once your friends are married, they'd become harder to find and get hold of - especially for those typical dinner outings or a simple get togethers. It becomes even more difficult once they have children, especially in the initial few years.

Being in such a situation myself (married with a young child), I can totally understand the reasons behind such an observation. Although it has to be said, some people are more drastically "impacted" than others.

Take for instance my good buddy, BL - a married man with 2 young kids, although you wouldn't be able to tell that by his behavior. That is because he behaves virtually like any singles would. He goes out with his friends, stays out late (though he claims it's mostly for business.. haha), and is usually the one who organises get together and movie outings.

Then there's the other end of the spectrum, another friend of mine who got married 2 years back and has since "vanished" into thin air. No news from him whatsoever, no calls, no emails responses, SMSes, etc. We found out that his wife gave birth to a baby through some Facebook photos which he put up last year. (well, at least FB is good for that.... in a way)

I'd probably lie somewhere in the middle, I think. It is certainly true that after having JK, attending friends' gatherings have become more challenging. Just recently, the Xpose folks celebrated a couple of members' bday after practice on a saturday evening. But with JK's habit of taking >1 hour for each meal, it was virtually impossible for us to join the guys for dinner. In fact, if you factor in the hours he needs for day naps, and his long meal times, there's hardly any time left in-between for us to take him anywhere! It can really be frustrating, trust me.

At the end of the day, it is really up to the couple to manage their time (and the kid!) to ensure they don't lose touch with their friends. Certainly with more responsibilities (as a husband/wife and especially as a parent) comes the necessary sacrifices, particular in the freedom of time. As I've mentioned earlier, being someone in this situation, I can fully understand the challenges involved.

I hope my (single) friends can empathise with us (the married with kids ones) too....


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