Friday, September 04, 2009

Truth & marriage

"..... for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health....Do you take so-and-so to be your husband/wife?"

These words will be familiar to many who have walked down the aisle in the path towards marriage. Even to the singles, they will have heard it at least once when they attended a friend/relative's ceremony of marriage certification (commonly called "ROM" in Singapore), if not then on television. =P
Today paper (James Dobson's segment) brought this up, and claimed that many (notably, younger) couples' answer the the series of vows above are,
" Yes No Yes No No Yes", which I found rather amusing.

I am no marriage expert, but having been married for almost 7 years now, I do know that sometimes it really takes effort to keep a marriage healthy and "alive". As a matter of fact, I venture to say that it takes effort to maintain ANY relationship, let alone one as intimate as that of husband and wife.

Which brings up a TV reality show I watched last night - "The Moment of Truth". This is a pretty warped show, which supposedly feature (since I don't know for sure if the participants are REALLY who they claim they are, or were they just actors/actresses hired to put up a good show) normal people who volunteers to go through a series of questions with the ultimate aim of winning half a million dollars.
It starts with the contestant undergoing a lie detector test (they dont really show this part), and answer a series of 50 questions. At this stage, using the results of the lie detector, the producers of the programme will determine the "truthful" answer to each of the question asked. Then, in the actual show, the contestant will sit in front of a live audience plus a group of his/her family & friends and attempt to answer 21 questions "truthfully" in order to win the big money.
Sounds like a simple game right? No need to answer stupendously difficult IQ or general knowledge questions, no need to remember lyrics of long-forgotten songs, no need to even sweat it out. Just sit in a comfortable chair and... be truthful. Well, of course it isn't that easy. The questions asked range from the hilarious ones (usually at the lower cash prize level) to the seriously intimate & private ones, as the prize money increases.

Last night's episode saw this lady - who has been married for just 2 years - provide some shocking answers to some questions which really rocked her marriage. I mean (and assuming the whole show wasn't staged) if I were the husband, I wouldn't know if I would even bother to stay married at all.
Some of the questions were something like,

"Have you ever had sexual relations with any other man besides your husband, AFTER your marriage?"
"Do you think you were still in love with you ex-boyfriend on the day of your wedding?"

And the ultimate one was when the show's producers actually got the lady's ex-boyfriend to come to the show and asked the following question,

"If I wanted to get back together with you right now, would you leave your husband?" &
"Do you always feel that I am the man you were supposed to marry, instead of your husband?"

(Incidentally, her answers to all the above questions were "Yes" - which happened to be the "TRUTH".)

Amazing.... that some people would actually go on a show like this, for a chance to win a meagre $500,000. (yes, that sum is meagre, if you consider what the contestant has to go through... Again, assuming the whole show wasn't staged lah)

We are all imperfect peolpe, and sometimes we make mistakes - though some mistakes can be more devastating than others - , but I firmly believe that some truths are better left hidden. Put it simply, we sometimes just can't handle the truth. It is often better to live blissfully in ignorance rather than to live a life of guilt, regret or hate just to seek out the truth.

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