Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Parental Guidance

It is a Tuesday, and I am at home. Normally, this would either mean I am sick and on medical leave, or I am happily spending time off work (annual leave)to enjoy life.

But this is quite a stressful time, because I am on urgent child care leave to stay close to my boy who is having high fever. He has been sick since Sunday, but his temperature climbed steadily to a high of 38.9 degree celcius last night.

EP claimed I was 没用, in the sense that I wasn't really able to look after JK's needs, other than carry him and comfort him in my arms. She had to force him to take his medicine, ignoring all his crying and struggling. My job was primarily to physically restrain him while we feed him the meds, as well as when the doctor was trying to take his temperature and examine his throat.

Feeling him straining to use his last ounce of energy to break free (under my grasp) and crying so badly that he was virtually choking under his tears and runny nose, I felt terribly helpless. And it broke my heart...

As you would expect, we didnt really had much sleep as he is constantly waking up and crying. We took turn to hold him and pat him to calm him down while trying to feed him so water to sooth his infected throat. It's been almost a day since he's had anything substantial to eat/drink. He simply refuses to take anything.

Thus, the morning saw me calling my boss to request for urgent leave - to be near my boy so I can visit him regularly (we still brought him over to my in-law's place, as my mum-in-law is much better equipped to take care of him than clumsy me) ; and also because I doubt I will be able to focus at work anyway. Lack of sleep and constant worrying are surely factors that severely limit my ability to function at work.

I'm not sure why I'd become so 没用 (to be sure, it only applies to matters related to my boy).... sigh. Maybe it's genes - since my mum (and her mum) is also a worry-to-death kind of parent.

These emotions used to be totally unimaginable in those days where the only worry was money and time to spend (enjoying life).
I guess if you are a parent, you can probably empathise with what I'm feeling.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hope your little baby is feeling better already =)

10:48 PM  
Blogger 北海道的大黑熊 said...

thanks for your kind comments. he's better now, just having a cough (but no fever!) =)

11:36 AM  
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2:07 PM  

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