Romance in the City

Recently, kuja and i had a conversation about some of our dear friends who are reaching the age where they should be seriously looking for their special "someone" to share their lives with.

To be fair, some of them ARE (as far as we know) trying to be proactive in their search for love. We've heard about stories about them going for speed dates, attending exec lunches and such, all in the hope of meeting the person who can set their hearts racing and pulses racing.

And honestly, if you asked me, it's really not easy these days.

Darn... actually it's freaking hard!!

You see, all of us have a circle of friends whom we are very comfortable with. We don't mind meeting them weekly, for gatherings, meals and such. But after sometime, it becomes clear that romance is unlikely to blossom with a person within that "comfort circle", as i like to call it. So, if you want to find romance, you'd actually have to tear yourself away from this comfort circle, and start venturing out to newer circles and to the scary unknown world...

This means developing new life interests thus joining new clubs and societies, or taking time (and money) out to attend pre-arranged gatherings and meals, and some even resorting to taking up a new belief so as to attend the religious gatherings that follows.

Ultimately, the aim is to expand your social circle - far, far beyond the comfort circle of friends that you have.

Like i've said earlier, this is truly a difficult task, for most people at least. But it has its rewards i'm sure. So frankly, i'm not worried for my friends who are the proactive sort. They know what they want, and they go get it (or at least try to get it).

Kuja and I were more concerned for those amongst our close friends, who are -not- so proactive. They are, not surprisingly, usually the shy sort who'd not even venture to get to know a person of the opposite sex better, even if they actually feel a sense of attraction between them. Ok granted, for gals, it might be just a little bit harder, given that we're still very much an Asian society with deep rooted Asian values. Thus, some feel that gals should be more 含蓄,more 矜持, in order to be seen as a well-mannered and attractive lady. Some of my female friends have mentioned on occasion that they are afraid of "scaring off the cute guys" by appearing too "aggressive" and 直接. hahaha.. and I thought 男追女隔座山,女追男隔层纱.

But what about shy guys? I think these days, if you drag your feet about such things, you are bound to end up last. Seriously, my suggestion to all my guy friends nowadays are 喜欢就敢敢地追. 顶多是失败而已嘛. 如果连追人家的勇气都没有,那就是从一开始就没机会成功. 失败也是咎由自取的...

Kuja suggested playing matchmaker (again!), by introducing one of her colleagues (an attractive young lady i must admit) to one of our not-so-proactive friend. But she then lamented, "aiya... we don't have a photo hor... if not can show her first mah ".

hmm.. maybe I should start snapping pictures of all my eligible friends and start building a database ya? hahaha..

日行一善

Helped a young girl find her way to Capital Square today. She was looking for Capital Square, but ended up at Capital Tower. I happened to be at Cap tower visiting one of my clients at JPM.

When she approached me asking for directions to Capital Square, she also told me she's going to Bloomberg. I then jokingly said, "Hey, BB is Reuter's competitor, and I'm from Reuters. Sorry, cant help you! "

Of course, i didn't really leave the poor girl in the lurch. In fact, i brought her all the way to the building itself.

It feels good to be able to help someone! :)

这样做,"值得"吗?

我们人,通常很喜欢把两样同西(有时是更多样),或是两种选择拿来做比较. 目的是为要衡量一下,到底怎样做,怎么选择才比较"值得".

In English, it's the common question, "Is it worth it?"

That's mostly how people make choices in their lives. Many a times, the choices we made, or decisions that we took, were based on what we felt (at that time) was the more "worth it" approach.

Of course, defining what is "worth it" is key to all this discussion.

到底, 怎样才算是"值得"?

Actually, things aren't so complicated if you really think about it... There're a couple of things that the common man covet - Power (权势), Wealth (财富), and Love/Lust (爱情/色欲).

* in simple guys' lingo - it's simply Power, Wealth and Women! hahaha..

So, when we are measuring the "worthiness" of a particular choice, we tend to compare it against the other alternative in terms of how favourable the outcome is likely to be on the basis of the 3 things that we covet.

Many such decisions are relatively simple to make.

For instance, when we are deciding on which job to take up, or whether to make a job switch, we will like compare the opportunities based on whether there's room for advancement/promotion (Power), and the level of benefits and compensation it pays out (Wealth).

Another example. When deciding whether to woo this lady or that lady, men tend to focus quite a fair bit on the physical attractiveness of the person, all things being equal (e.g. both are equally nice, friendly and can get along well, blah.blah..blah... admit it guys, looks count - a great deal! )
And thus, we compare the alternatives based on our desire for Love, or more crudely - Lust.

But in life, nothing is ever simple, it seems. So things gets really 'interesting' when the 3 criteria clashes.

Sacrifice love in pursuit of more Wealth? (e.g. when we see a really young and attractive woman marrying a rich, but old and maybe evening dying tycoon. yeah.. they always profess "true love", but let's be real lah! )

Or give up Power in exchange for Love? (e.g. 吕布为了貂蝉,放弃了已拥有的权势而杀了自己的大靠山董卓,也间接导致自己走上了灭亡的道路)

While there are people who are obviously crazy about power or money, most of us are able to be quite rational when we make decisions based on the "worthiness" based on these 2 criteria. The decisions may not be easy ones for sure (like which job is likely to lead to better prospects and benefits), but we can still take a more or less logical approach to the decision making process.

But Love & Lust? tough luck...

It can make you blind to all things, poision your mind, confuse your senses, sap your will, and sometimes make you berserk!

Hey! Sounds like being struck with Malboro's famed Bad Breath attack, huh?! hahaha..

关系

人与人之间的关系有时侯真的是难以预料,有时候甚至可以在瞬息间变得面目全非. 当你以为你对一个人有相当的了解时,剧情的发展往往让人大跌眼镜,使你不得不重考虑到底你对他的了解有多深.

虽然不能说对他了解得很深,但总是彼此认识了超过十年,也同窗公事了近五年的光阴. 一向来都当他是个有责任感,顾家的好男人. 怎么说,一个有了三个孩子的男人,总该对家人负责,在做一个好丈夫的同时,也做个好父亲. 而他平时给大家的印象也很符合这个"形象".

但真没想到,他竟然会搞外遇,主动要求和妻子离婚....

唉,话说回来,也许外人也不应该过度指责和批评,毕竟一对夫妻婚姻会出现问题有很多造成因素. 当中的你你我我,是是非非,有时候不是一句简单的"你对不起我!"就能解释清楚的. 可能只有当事人能够理解当中的苦处.

无论如何,我还是觉得他们夫妻之间应该尝试挽回这段婚姻. 不为自己也为了那三个年幼的孩子. 他们真的是无辜的呀.

Strange fellas

I often find it strange, that some of the closest friends you've known in your life can slowly transform over the years into alien beings whom you can hardly recognise and associate with.

Let me give a real-life example:

The guys' profile:
- known him for over 15 years, since good'o school days
- used to be a really friendly and good sociable fella
- hardworking and 'A' student in school. Now working as a doctor.
- we have kept in touch all these years, met up for social gatherings, birthday celebrations, etc..

But in the recent couple of years, he became more and more anti-social. Not in the sense of being unfriendly or openly hostile. But everytime there's a gathering, he'll ask questions like "er.. who's going to to there at this gathering?", "not sure if i can commit", "try my best to be there", "what time was the gathering again", "er.. where is the gathering again?" etc..etc.

In short, he's become much like a woman, in terms of being 超级婆妈 and 优柔寡断. No, in fact he's much worse. It's become really unbearable for the group of us guys buddies...

And worst of all, after repeatedly asking all these questions, SMSing to confirm and re-confirm, he decides to do a "no-show" at the gathering.

Not once, not twice, not thrice... but again and again.

And just when you thought, "nah... probably this guy's got some problem lah... maybe he's got other priorities now, and doesn't want to keep in touch with old friends anymore", and forgets about him, he will suddenly SMS a "i'm really sorry, i'll try my best to make it to the next gathering" - out of the blue.

There have been some theories that have surfaced amongst the few of us close friends:

fren A: "Maybe he has been jilted one too many times... such that he is a little emotionally imbalanced.."

fren B: "Or maybe he has an inferiority complex..."

fren A: "huh?? what's that mean??"

fren B: "In the sense that he sees all of us getting married one by one, and some already being 'promoted' to become fathers. He sort of feel left behind?"

fren C: "No lah.. i think you're all wrong! I think he's just gay. Afraid to come for gathering, in case someone asks him about his marriage plans.."

All the rest: "ya hor.. come to think of it.. remember that time he.......etc..etc.."

haha... guys gossip a lot too, you know :P

Beautiful Austria

Have been rather busy (hint: not just with work, ya knoe. haha!) and lazy, which is why the photos, though developed, have not appeared in my blog.

Until now. :)

Just thot i'd share some beautiful views taken from my 2 weeks in the scenic cities of Vienna and Salzburg. What a wonderful time kuja and i had over there!

The beautiful Blue Danube river. No wonder Strauss was inspired to compose music about her...

A memorial for the music genius - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

I really loved the Giant Ferris Wheel in the Prater area

The Stephandom Church - an iconic building in Vienna

We hear stories of Maria Theresa a lot in Austria (* in case u're wondering - it's the statue of Maria theresa i'm talking abt here. While Kuja poses pretty for the camera )

Final Fantasy XII

Since coming back from Austria, I have been immersed in the world of Ivalice. Fighting monsters, and gaining license points to learn new skills and spells.

No wonder i'm feeling so tired these days... *yawn* :)